DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor’s young son has developed a habit of coming into my yard and picking flowers for his mom from my garden, which is right on the border of our two lawns. She always laughs and says how sweet it is when he hands them to her, but I can’t help feeling frustrated. I’ve spent countless hours planting, watering and tending to those flowers, not to mention the money I’ve invested in making my garden something I’m proud of. At first, I tried to brush it off as an innocent gesture, but it’s been happening regularly, and now entire sections of my garden are looking sparse. I don’t think the boy realizes he’s doing anything wrong, but his mom certainly should. I want to say something before the season is ruined, but I also don’t want to come across as the cranky neighbor who scolds kids. How can I ask her to stop letting him pick my flowers while still being kind and neighborly? -- Don’t Pick the Flowers

DEAR DON’T PICK THE FLOWERS: The mistake you made was not saying something the first time. This child has no way of knowing what he did was wrong, and because you didn’t say anything, his mother may think that you don’t have a problem with him picking your flowers.

It is time for you to speak up. Talk to the boy’s mom. Tell her that you know you should have said something right away, but you must tell her now that you do not want her son to pick your flowers. It’s great for him to admire them and show them to her, but you spend hours of time and lots of money to build your garden, and you do not want it to be picked. Perhaps you can offer for him to help you water the flowers sometimes or otherwise participate a bit in the gardening experience so he can learn the value of preserving and growing the garden.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Last week, I came home to find my neighbor standing on my porch holding an Amazon package addressed to me. When I asked why she had it, she said she “thought it was hers” because she ordered an item off of Amazon and was notified that it was delivered today, but she didn’t see the package on her porch. The thing is, my packages are clearly labeled with my name and address, and hers are typically not left on my porch. I want to believe it was an honest mix-up, but something about her reaction felt off. She seemed flustered and avoided eye contact, and this isn’t the first time I’ve had a package go missing. Now I’m wondering if she’s been taking them all along and only got caught this time. I hate the idea of accusing a neighbor without solid proof, but I also don’t want to ignore it if she’s stealing from me. Should I take her at her word and let it go, or report it to the police before it happens again? -- Is She a Thief?

DEAR IS SHE A THIEF?: Inform your neighbor that if she believes a package was misdelivered, the correct protocol would be to call you and ask if you've seen it. To prevent future "misunderstandings," install a motion-activated camera at your front door to observe everyone who steps onto your property. In this way, you will be able to see for yourself if she or anyone else steals from you. Then you can confront her or call the police.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son recently lost his job and asked if he, his wife and their two young children could move back into my home for a few months while they get back on their feet. I love my son and my grandkids dearly and I want to help them, but the idea of having four extra people in my house, especially two energetic children, feels overwhelming. I’ve been living alone for years and value my peace, privacy and quiet routines. I worked hard to get to a point where my home feels like my sanctuary, and I’m afraid I’ll lose that if I say yes. On the other hand, if I say no, I worry it will cause tension and hurt feelings, or make me seem selfish and uncaring. I’m torn between wanting to protect my own space and wanting to be a supportive mother and grandmother. How can I have this conversation in a way that sets boundaries but still shows love and compassion as I do want to help them out during this difficult time? -- Moving Back Home

DEAR MOVING BACK HOME: Go with your gut. If you don’t think you can handle the stress and bustle of four people in your house for what will likely be more than a few months, say no. Instead, if you have any money you can give them to help pay for rent somewhere for a few months, offer that.

If they get to the point of potential homelessness, reconsider your position. Even then, create boundaries so that you don’t lose your peace entirely.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A close friend of mine borrowed one of my favorite dresses to wear to a wedding a few weeks ago. It wasn’t just any dress: It was expensive, it fits me perfectly and I’ve worn it only a handful of times. When she returned it, I noticed there were several noticeable stains on the fabric. She didn’t mention them, apologize or offer to pay for cleaning. She just handed it back as if nothing was wrong.

At first, I thought maybe she didn’t notice the stains, but they’re impossible to miss. Now I’m feeling hurt, not just about the dress, but about the lack of respect and acknowledgment. I’m debating whether I should bring it up and risk creating tension, or just let it go to avoid conflict. Part of me thinks it’s about the principle, not the money, but another part worries I’ll seem petty if I make it an issue. What’s the best way to handle this without damaging the friendship -- or my bank account? -- Dirty Dress

DEAR DIRTY DRESS: Speak up. Tell your friend you were surprised and disappointed that she returned your dress soiled -- without even mentioning the stains -- after she borrowed it. Don’t fret about the tension; it’s already there because you feel it, so you must address it. Tell her you will have it dry cleaned and let her know the cost.

If she tries to shrug it off, you can say this is exactly why you don’t like to lend your clothing. You don’t want friction between the two of you, but you do expect your things to be treated with respect.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently got promoted at work, which I was really excited about until things got awkward with a close colleague of mine. Before the promotion, we were on the same level, working side by side for over two years. Now that I’m her supervisor, the dynamic has changed, and it’s been uncomfortable. She’s been distant ever since I got promoted. She doesn’t talk to me the same way, and when we do interact, there’s this underlying tension that didn’t exist before.

I’ve tried to keep things as normal as possible, but I can tell she’s hurt or maybe resentful. I can’t help but wonder if she expected to get the promotion herself, or if she feels betrayed that I didn’t warn her ahead of time. At the same time, I want to do well in this new role and not feel like I have to downplay my success. Is there a way to rebuild the trust and keep our friendship intact while also stepping into this leadership position, or is this just one of those situations where personal and professional lines should not be crossed? -- Moving Up

DEAR MOVING UP: Sometimes promotions provoke work friendship casualties. While this is not what you want, at the moment, your responsibility is to do your job. Dig in and learn everything you can. Stay laser-focused about the work. Check in regularly with your supervisor to track your progress. If you feel comfortable enough to speak frankly with your supervisor, ask for advice on navigating the changing dynamics of office friendships as you grow at the company.

What you are experiencing is common, even as it is painful. What you can do is continue to be respectful and friendly to this person, but you cannot change how she feels.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband curses all the time. As he ages, it has gotten worse. I used to be able to get him to curb his cursing when in the company of elders and children, but now he doesn’t care. I used to take him to office functions, like company dinners or business galas, but I hesitate now because he may begin cursing like a sailor at the most inappropriate moment. It’s almost as if he has lost a filter now that he is older. How can I get him to be aware of his behavior? If he refuses to tone it down, I fear I won’t be able to take him places anymore. -- No Cursing Allowed

DEAR NO CURSING ALLOWED: People who know your husband well already know that he has a foul mouth. While you don’t like it, it’s OK for him to be in their company as his behavior is expected.

When it comes to work functions, think twice. If you believe that your husband’s behavior will negatively impact your reputation, stop bringing him to those functions. When asked where he is, just say that he couldn’t make it. Make sure you are not overreacting. A lot of people curse -- a lot. Survey your landscape to do a gut check on this before you make your decision.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)