DEAR HARRIETTE: I am one of the many people who have lost their job this year due to the pushback against diversity, equity and inclusion programs. I have an advanced degree and decades of experience in my field, and it doesn’t seem to matter. I am having a difficult time finding work in this environment. What’s worse is that some of my “friends” and colleagues have been saying that they think people of color have been wrongfully advanced and have taken their jobs. Some are questioning my credentials, saying I probably wouldn’t have gotten as far as I did without a handout. I am shocked. I worked more than 20 years to build to my level. How does this anti-DEI mindset get to wipe out my entire career? What can I do or say to defend myself? -- Under Attack

DEAR UNDER ATTACK: I am sorry that you are in this situation. One thing that is happening is that people don’t understand what DEI programs are for. The notion of leveling the playing field so that people of all backgrounds have a fair chance at opportunities was the driving force behind any of these programs. It was not to give anyone an unfair advantage.

That said, many people of diverse backgrounds have gotten educated and built their careers dynamically without any added support. People aren’t generally “given” a job; they must earn it. For jobs and programs to be wiped out because some don't want a woman, person of color, veteran or disabled person to apply seems unfair.

Talk to your friends and colleagues. When on job interviews, tell your story. Let people get a window into who you are and how you have built your life. When people discover the fullness of others who are different from them, an opportunity arises for them to have a broader understanding of who they are.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my neighbors is an older woman who treats everyone on our street like we are her children. She chastises people about their trash and lawns, and her latest focus is parking. We live in New York City, and I understand that parking is generally hard to come by, but our block is pretty quiet and many people have driveways. Over the past few weeks, she’s said something to me four or five times about how I park my car. She wants people to be as close to each other’s bumpers as possible to ensure we are leaving maximum space for others to park. Sometimes I just walk away, but yesterday she stopped me and asked if I heard her and if I planned to move up. I think this is getting out of hand. What is the best way to ask my overzealous neighbor to take a chill pill? -- Parking Police

DEAR PARKING POLICE: You can tell her that you hear her about whatever gripe she is addressing without changing your action. What will happen? She will be disappointed as she also discovers that she does not have complete control over the neighborhood.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My manager has a habit of scheduling meetings that often run long, and they frequently overlap with other commitments on my calendar. Most of the time, these overlapping commitments are networking chats with colleagues. I know that my primary responsibility is to prioritize my manager and my team’s work, but I feel like I’m constantly in the awkward position of having to cancel or reschedule those networking meetings at the last minute. It’s especially uncomfortable when I have to push back on someone’s time just minutes before the meeting starts; I worry it makes me look unprofessional or like I don’t value that person’s time. At the same time, I don’t want my boss to think I’m unwilling to be flexible since I understand things come up and meetings don’t always run on schedule.

How can I bring this up with my manager in a way that’s respectful but still communicates that these constant conflicts are putting me in a tough spot? I want to make sure I’m being a team player while also protecting my professional reputation and relationships outside of my team. -- Establishing Boundaries

DEAR ESTABLISHING BOUNDARIES: You have noticed a pattern with your boss, so, for starters, schedule your networking meetings an hour later than you have been in order to give yourself a buffer.

You can also speak to your boss to say that you have made plans on particular days or evenings and you will have to leave even if a meeting runs long. Do your best to manage your time by sharing your calendar early on.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boss recently started following me on social media. At first I didn’t think much of it, but now he comments on nearly everything I post: pictures of my dog, updates from family events, even casual things like a photo of my dinner. What started out as a harmless interaction is beginning to feel invasive, like my boss has a window into parts of my life I’d rather keep separate from work. I try to keep my posts light and respectful, but I also use social media to connect with friends and share personal opinions that don’t have anything to do with my job. Knowing that my boss is not only watching but actively chiming in makes me feel self-conscious and even a little judged. At the same time, I don’t want to block or restrict him and risk looking unprofessional, unfriendly or like I have something to hide.

I feel caught between wanting to preserve healthy boundaries and worrying about how my boss might interpret it if I distance myself online. How do I handle this situation without damaging my professional relationship or my peace of mind? -- Social Conflict

DEAR SOCIAL CONFLICT: It would be awkward to ask your boss to stop observing or posting on your page. Don’t do that. Simply be mindful of what you post, as you should be doing anyway. You know he is looking, and others are, too. Don’t post anything that could compromise your job, your integrity or your professional relationships. Avoid posting anything that could hurt you down the line.

Here’s some advice to everyone: Do not post anything in haste, when intoxicated or when emotionally charged. It could backfire.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am struggling to get my health on track. My doctor has warned me that I am prediabetic. I have seen other people my age who have diabetes and some of the side effects that come with it when treatment and diet are not taken seriously, but for some reason, that doesn’t seem to be enough for me to change my own ways. I don’t really eat many sweets, but I think my affinity for pizza, pasta, bagels and other carb-heavy foods are the real culprits. Since I got this health update, I’ve tried to make some changes, but I fall right back into my old habits and cravings. I am often thinking about what I will eat next. Do I have a food addiction? I am afraid that I can’t get a handle on my own eating habits even for my own good. -- Health on the Line

DEAR HEALTH ON THE LINE: Changing habits is hard for everyone. Your food cravings are real, and they need to be addressed. The good news is that you are aware of this. Ask your doctor to refer you to a dietitian who can help you map out your meals and create discipline in your eating. Give yourself grace as you change your habits, but do take this seriously. The alarm has rung that you are prediabetic. Work as hard as you can now to avoid having full-blown diabetes later. Have you explored with your doctor taking any of the newer weight loss rugs out there?

You may also want to get a therapist to help you sort through your relationship to food. If you do have a food addiction, the professional can help you deal with that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a huge family and a long list of friends I’ve built over the years from college, work, my sorority, my neighborhood, community clubs, church and so much more. As my husband and I were planning our wedding, we realized our guest list was way too long, and my process of elimination was based on current social proximity -- meaning how close I am with a person now. A friend I grew up with, someone I still love but just don’t see or speak with frequently, reached out to me after the wedding to tell me off. Even after she’d heard about invitations being sent out, she assumed hers was just a bit delayed. She accused me of being pretentious and thinking that I am better than our childhood friends. How do I respond to a message like this? She’s totally wrong about my reasoning, and while I still have love for her, I shouldn’t have to explain my life choices to someone who harbors so much animosity. -- Guest List

DEAR GUEST LIST: Your childhood friend’s feelings are hurt. She lashed out in an inappropriate manner, but hopefully you can see through that. Call her back and apologize for not being able to invite her to your wedding. Tell her that as much as you wanted to include everyone who has been close to you in your life, you did not have the space or budget to do so. You had to make tough decisions in limiting your guest list to your current closest friends and family. Tell her you did not mean to hurt her or any others from your childhood.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)