DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been living in my apartment for over a year, and I really love it: the location, the space, my neighbors and the fact that the rent is so cheap. The only problem is my landlord. Every time I submit a maintenance request, it takes weeks for anything to get fixed. I’ve had leaky faucets, a broken heater in the middle of winter, and now a dishwasher that hasn’t worked for over a month. When I follow up, I either get vague responses or get ignored completely. I’ve tried to be patient and polite, but it’s starting to feel like my concerns don’t matter. I’ve even offered to find my own repairperson and deduct it from rent, but I was told that’s “not allowed.”

I pay my rent on time every month and have never caused any issues, so it’s frustrating to feel like I’m being brushed off. I really don’t want to jeopardize my lease renewal or come across as a “problem tenant,” but this is starting to affect my comfort and peace of mind in a serious way. How can I advocate for myself and push to get these repairs handled promptly without risking my good standing with my landlord or losing an apartment I otherwise love? -- Landlord Concerns

DEAR LANDLORD CONCERNS: Now is the time to get the help of your city. You can call 311 and report your landlord. Have a list handy of all of your issues. Make sure to articulate your concerns clearly and be able to prove that they have not been addressed. Gather any texts or written messages that exist between you and your landlord to serve as proof of your claims.

Sometimes tenants can put their rent in an escrow account, meaning it doesn’t go to the landlord immediately but is withheld and stored in a safe place until repairs are made. Consult a lawyer before taking that step, however. You do have rights. Don’t let your landlord intimidate you. Get help.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister-in-law invited me to join her for her bachelorette trip to the Virgin Islands. While I didn’t want to miss out on a trip to the Caribbean, I was a little hesitant because I really don’t know any of her friends. Eventually, she ended up telling me I could bring a plus-one if I’d like. I took her up on her offer and invited a friend of mine who had been telling me how much she needed a getaway. Though we’re close, I had never traveled with this friend either ... and I don’t think I ever will again. She put a damper on the entire trip. She complained about work, the food, the heat, her dog, her co-workers, the sand, the excursions and even her creaky back door back at home.

I felt horrible for bringing this dark cloud to what was supposed to be a fun-filled trip. My sister-in-law reassured me that she still enjoyed herself, but I feel awful! How can I make it up to her? -- Party Pooper

DEAR PARTY POOPER: What a drag. It’s good that you apologized on behalf of your ill-mannered friend. There really is nothing more you can do. Your sister-in-law knows your remorse is heartfelt. Stop bringing it up and let the memory fade.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend’s boyfriend and I got into a heated argument at a dinner party. He made a joke about me being a drama queen and gossiping too much. At first, it was funny, but then it felt like he was bringing up situations that I had spoken about with his girlfriend in confidence. Despite his dwelling on this untimely joke, my friend remained quiet, not even nudging her boyfriend to quit.

I was ticked, so I asked him why he felt comfortable bringing all this up in front of a large group of people. At that point, it was clear that the conversation was no longer playful and some lines had been crossed. My friend finally decided to cut in, but instead of defusing, she was defending her boyfriend and saying I had no right to pick a fight with him. I feel a bit deceived by my friend. I know that partners will often engage in pillow talk, but I never expected it to be thrown in my face this way. Should I talk to my friend about how things escalated? -- Drama Queen

DEAR DRAMA QUEEN: Yes, you should speak to your friend. Tell her how hurt you were to hear her boyfriend spew confidences that you had shared with her. Explain that you were surprised when she didn’t nudge him to stop but instead reprimanded you when you tried to get him to change the subject.

Moving forward, don’t tell her anything you don’t want him to know. More important, understand that she is not going to have your back. It seems that relationship has changed now.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my students is struggling socially. He is a bright young boy with a big personality, but when he’s around other students, he retreats. According to some of the other teachers, he may have experienced bullying last school year and has been a lot less interactive since then. I tried meeting with his parents about it, explaining that he seems anxious and often spends time alone during lunch or after school. His father's position is that as long as his son is doing well academically, he doesn’t see an issue. How can I get this student to let his guard down with other kids? I want him to know that school is a safe space, contrary to what he may have experienced last year. -- Social Struggles

DEAR SOCIAL STRUGGLES: You cannot guarantee that school will be a safe space for this child, so don’t promise that. You can encourage him to identify new friends who might share his interests. Suggest that he join a club or other group whose focus appeals to him. He may make friends in one of those groups. Let him know that you are there for him if he needs to talk. If he ever mentions his relationships with other students, listen carefully but don’t try to fix things. Just hear him out. Being present for this student consistently is something he will notice and likely appreciate.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: How do I get someone who believes in tough love to understand that that does not resonate with me? For a long time, my siblings and I have had strained relationships with our mom because of how crass she can be. She has strong and often negative opinions, and she is not shy about sharing them. I was recently admitted to a two-year college. I am in my late 20s and didn’t prioritize college when I was 18 like my parents wanted.

Apparently, there’s still some resentment there, because when I announced which school I’d be going to, my mom snickered and asked me if I was proud of that school. When she realized that she had offended me, she said that she was trying to encourage me. I can’t keep letting her impose her negativity on me. Mocking me is NOT encouragement. I don’t know how to get her to see that, though. -- Never Good Enough

DEAR NEVER GOOD ENOUGH: Not getting the support you crave from your mother has to be heart-wrenching. While I do not have a recommendation on how to resolve that, I can suggest that you surround yourself with other people who can serve as cheerleaders. Who is close to you who is proud of your current choice? Who naturally encourages you when you are feeling low and celebrates your small victories? Be sure to stay in touch with those people.

Forgive your mother for her crass ways. She probably doesn’t mean to hurt your feelings, but that doesn’t make her snipes any less sharp. Do your best not to take her comments personally. If you can, stop seeking her validation.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m getting married soon, and my dad has been totally out of sorts. For context, when my fiance asked my father for his permission to propose, my dad gave his blessing, but ever since then he has been distant. I’ve asked my dad to join us when we were touring venues, doing cake tastings and exploring tailors for the menswear. My dad has been making excuses, saying he has something else already on his calendar. When he does agree to join, he’ll conveniently oversleep and miss the appointment.

My father is known for having a 100% attendance rate for everything special in my life, so I can’t wrap my head around his recent behavior. My fiance thinks he may be sad about the big change. Is it possible that the thought of my wedding might be making my dad so distant? -- Hand in Marriage

DEAR HAND IN MARRIAGE: Go to your dad and ask him directly what’s bothering him. Point out that you have noticed that he is not engaging in your wedding planning even as you and your fiance have directly and repeatedly invited him. Ask him what’s wrong and push to get him to talk. Marriage is a union of families. Let him know how much you both value him. It’s best to address any issues now before you walk down the aisle.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)