DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been struggling with chronic fatigue for way too long. After the pandemic, I spent about four years working strictly from home. It had its pros and cons -- one of those cons being me struggling to maintain normal energy outside of my home. I guess I am no longer used to the hustle and bustle of commuting and being on high alert in heavily populated settings. I now work in person in New York City and have been getting back into the swing of public transportation, speed walking and staying awake! I used to work for 10 hours straight while at home, but for some reason, I find myself nodding off now that I’m in the office. I don’t want to come off as a bad hire or incompetent, so I need to figure this out ASAP. I’ve tried incorporating vitamins into my regimen, going to sleep earlier and avoiding screens before bed, but I’m still struggling. Any advice for managing my fatigue? -- Low Energy

DEAR LOW ENERGY: Start by getting a physical examination to make sure that your body is healthy. Talk to your doctor about how you are feeling, and ask for recommendations to support your new routine.

Next, map out things you can do during the workday to up your energy. Typically, people get a bit lethargic after lunch and toward late afternoon. Can you take a 15-minute break right before you normally get sluggish and take a vigorous walk outside your building? If not, go into the restroom and do a few jumping jacks to get your blood flowing. Drink lots of water. Every hour, stand up for a few minutes, stretch and move your body. When you begin to feel sleepy, get up and walk around in the office. Schedule a few minutes for brief socializing where you talk to co-workers. This can help you get to know them and keep you alert.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m having a tough time figuring out my relationship status. My partner and I agreed to have an open relationship, but in reality, neither of us has ever acted on it. Recently, I met someone I like, and it’s the first time I’ve wanted to explore a connection outside of my relationship. The problem is that I feel guilty -- almost like I’m doing something wrong, even though we agreed this was allowed. Is it normal to feel this conflicted? How do I honor my existing relationship while also being honest about my feelings and curiosity? -- Torn but Curious

DEAR TORN BUT CURIOUS: Think through the what-ifs. If you genuinely like your partner and want to be in a monogamous relationship with them, now is the time to make that known. Have a conversation with them where you acknowledge that you have an attraction to someone else, but you realize you are concerned about acting on it because you are committed where you are. Be open and honest with your partner.

Part of your apprehension may be that if you open the door to this other person, there’s a chance you may grow to like them. Then what? Part of being in a monogamous relationship is that you keep that door closed and choose to focus only on each other intimately. Express your concern that you aren’t sure you want to risk the consequences that may come after that breach of boundaries. Talk to your partner and discover how they feel about it. This can be an eye-opening conversation that will lead you to understand what choice is best for you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live with my boyfriend. We rent an apartment together and split all of our expenses. I’ve been able to save up, and now I am interested in investing in real estate. I don’t know what that means for me and my boyfriend, though. I mentioned my interest to him a few months back to see what he thinks, and he thinks real estate would be great for “us.” At this time, I don’t intend to purchase property with my boyfriend. It doesn’t feel wise to me. If we were married or at least engaged, I’d feel differently.

My boyfriend has brought it up a few times since our first conversation, so I explained my stance, and he doesn’t think our relationship status should be what hinders us from making a good investment together. He said he’s happy to do things separately if that’s what I really want, but now I fear I’ve thrown a wrench in our relationship. Am I seeing this all wrong? Is purchasing a home together much different than being on a lease together? -- Major Investment

DEAR MAJOR INVESTMENT: It sounds like you two need to have a different conversation. What do you want for the future? Do you want to be in a committed relationship with each other? Do you want to get married? Does he? What does your future look like in your mind’s eye?

Yes, a mortgage is more permanent and serious than a lease, but many couples buy property together without being married. You two need to deal with the future of your relationship before tying up more resources together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband has recently been talking nonstop about moving out of Los Angeles and starting over in the suburbs. He says he’s tired of the traffic, the noise, the cost of living -- basically all the things that make L.A. what it is -- and he wants more space, a yard and what he calls a “calmer life.” The problem is, I love where we live. My job is here, my friends are here and, honestly, I’m energized by the city. I grew up in a small town, and the idea of going back to suburbia makes me feel like I’m losing a piece of myself. We’ve gone back and forth about it, but every conversation turns into an argument. He keeps saying I’m being stubborn, and I feel like he’s not hearing how big of a change this would be for me. I worry that if I give in, I’ll resent him later, but if he stays, he’ll resent me. We’ve even started avoiding the topic because we’re afraid of another blowup, which feels unhealthy. How do we find common ground when we want completely different lifestyles? What happens if neither of us is willing to compromise? -- To Move or Not To Move

DEAR TO MOVE OR NOT TO MOVE: This is a tough one. Someone is going to need to compromise. One thing I know is that there are many suburbs around Los Angeles, and you may be able to find a neighborhood that you both like, one that is not too far away but that affords a bit more space and comfort. It is worth driving around and looking. If you at least offer to consider his idea, it may open him up to reconsidering yours.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My adult daughters absolutely refuse to call or visit their father, and it’s become a constant point of tension in our family. I’m still married to him, and while they love me, they make it clear they want nothing to do with him. They grew up watching me handle almost everything in the household all while working full time. Meanwhile, their dad was emotionally distant and rarely helpful, and he often acted like any family responsibility was an inconvenience. Now that they’re older, they tell me that he’s selfish and that I deserve better. They insist I should divorce him and “start fresh,” but they don’t understand how complicated that feels at my age. I’ve spent decades with this man. I don’t want to be lonely, and I don’t want to divide the family even further, but the idea of starting over is overwhelming. At the same time, I’m tired of being stuck in the middle. My daughters think I’m making excuses for him, and my husband gets defensive whenever I bring up their feelings.

I feel like I’m being pulled in two different directions: loyalty to the man I built a life with and loyalty to my daughters who only want what they think is best for me. How do I navigate this without alienating either side? How do I make peace with the fear of being alone if I’m starting to wonder whether my daughters might actually be right? -- In the Middle

DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: Your adult daughters can make their own choices about how they interact with their father as long as they are respectful. They cannot force you to do anything. You should assess your life carefully and decide what you want for your later years. It may be scary to leave, but would that be best? If so, plot it out. If not, make peace with what you have. Thank your daughters for their concern, but let them know you have to live your own life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: It’s been about two years since my mom passed away. The “big C” had its way with her. Before she died, she gave my siblings and me everything she had, everything she could think of. She purchased a large home for us and left everything else in a trust for the four of us to share. Most of us were already settled, so only my youngest sister inhabited the new home our mom gave to us. The home was paid in full, so she’s responsible for paying the taxes only. We found out that for the past year, our youngest sister has defaulted on paying the taxes. The rest of us want to repay her debt and sell the home, but she refuses. The home is in all our names, so we can’t move forward without her cooperation. How do you reason with someone who simply doesn’t care? -- Wake Up

DEAR WAKE UP: This may be the time when you get a lawyer to intervene. Find out what the debt implications are. What happens if the bills aren’t paid? Let her know this -- or have an attorney explain it to her. You may need to sue her to gain control over the property. While this will likely cause dissension in the family, it may be necessary. Otherwise, you may all lose the treasured family home.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)