DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents are coming to visit me for Christmas in New York City, and I really wanted to do something nice for them by booking an Airbnb or hotel so they could have their own space and be comfortable. I tried to plan everything myself to make the visit special, but I ended up waiting too long. Now the prices are sky-high -- completely out of my budget -- and I’m panicking. I feel embarrassed because I had plenty of time to prepare, and I don’t want my parents to think I’m irresponsible or that I don’t care about making their trip enjoyable. I’m also stressed because my apartment is small, and having them stay with me for several days is going to be cramped and uncomfortable for all of us. I’m torn between telling them the truth and trying to scramble for a last-minute deal that I can barely afford. I just don’t know how to navigate this without disappointing them or putting myself in a financial hole. How do I handle this situation gracefully and still make their holiday visit feel special? -- Expensive Christmas

DEAR EXPENSIVE CHRISTMAS: This may be the most expensive time of the year for tourists in New York City. Even if you had booked sooner, prices would have been high because tourists flock to the city at this time. Try to widen your search to cities in New Jersey that are an easy train ride to Manhattan. You may find a better deal there.

Speak to your parents right away. Explain that you have yet to find an affordable place for them to stay. Don’t give up the search, but tell them you don’t think you will be able to cover all the costs. Work it out together so that you can salvage their trip.

DEAR HARRIETTE: It is time to divide up my father’s belongings among the family. He passed away a few months ago, and we have to get rid of his stuff. I have one sibling who is “in charge” of organizing everything, and I feel like he is taking over. My dad did not leave a will, so we are just taking what we want, but I can't help but feel like my sibling has picked over everything already and left the rest of us with the dregs. I don’t mean to feel like this, but I don’t think this is being handled equitably. How can I address this without causing a family fight? -- No Will

DEAR NO WILL: Speak to your brother. Let him know how sensitive this is for you and the rest of the family. Your father’s death was a blow, and going through his things is emotional. Thank him for taking the lead on handling your father’s estate. That is not an easy job. Tell him that while you are grateful, you are also concerned that he is making choices about things that he wants before the rest of the family can even see the items. Ask him to have everything on view so that the whole family can see it all. He can point out what he would like to keep, but ask him to give the rest of you a chance to know what’s there.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been struggling with chronic fatigue for way too long. After the pandemic, I spent about four years working strictly from home. It had its pros and cons -- one of those cons being me struggling to maintain normal energy outside of my home. I guess I am no longer used to the hustle and bustle of commuting and being on high alert in heavily populated settings. I now work in person in New York City and have been getting back into the swing of public transportation, speed walking and staying awake! I used to work for 10 hours straight while at home, but for some reason, I find myself nodding off now that I’m in the office. I don’t want to come off as a bad hire or incompetent, so I need to figure this out ASAP. I’ve tried incorporating vitamins into my regimen, going to sleep earlier and avoiding screens before bed, but I’m still struggling. Any advice for managing my fatigue? -- Low Energy

DEAR LOW ENERGY: Start by getting a physical examination to make sure that your body is healthy. Talk to your doctor about how you are feeling, and ask for recommendations to support your new routine.

Next, map out things you can do during the workday to up your energy. Typically, people get a bit lethargic after lunch and toward late afternoon. Can you take a 15-minute break right before you normally get sluggish and take a vigorous walk outside your building? If not, go into the restroom and do a few jumping jacks to get your blood flowing. Drink lots of water. Every hour, stand up for a few minutes, stretch and move your body. When you begin to feel sleepy, get up and walk around in the office. Schedule a few minutes for brief socializing where you talk to co-workers. This can help you get to know them and keep you alert.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m having a tough time figuring out my relationship status. My partner and I agreed to have an open relationship, but in reality, neither of us has ever acted on it. Recently, I met someone I like, and it’s the first time I’ve wanted to explore a connection outside of my relationship. The problem is that I feel guilty -- almost like I’m doing something wrong, even though we agreed this was allowed. Is it normal to feel this conflicted? How do I honor my existing relationship while also being honest about my feelings and curiosity? -- Torn but Curious

DEAR TORN BUT CURIOUS: Think through the what-ifs. If you genuinely like your partner and want to be in a monogamous relationship with them, now is the time to make that known. Have a conversation with them where you acknowledge that you have an attraction to someone else, but you realize you are concerned about acting on it because you are committed where you are. Be open and honest with your partner.

Part of your apprehension may be that if you open the door to this other person, there’s a chance you may grow to like them. Then what? Part of being in a monogamous relationship is that you keep that door closed and choose to focus only on each other intimately. Express your concern that you aren’t sure you want to risk the consequences that may come after that breach of boundaries. Talk to your partner and discover how they feel about it. This can be an eye-opening conversation that will lead you to understand what choice is best for you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live with my boyfriend. We rent an apartment together and split all of our expenses. I’ve been able to save up, and now I am interested in investing in real estate. I don’t know what that means for me and my boyfriend, though. I mentioned my interest to him a few months back to see what he thinks, and he thinks real estate would be great for “us.” At this time, I don’t intend to purchase property with my boyfriend. It doesn’t feel wise to me. If we were married or at least engaged, I’d feel differently.

My boyfriend has brought it up a few times since our first conversation, so I explained my stance, and he doesn’t think our relationship status should be what hinders us from making a good investment together. He said he’s happy to do things separately if that’s what I really want, but now I fear I’ve thrown a wrench in our relationship. Am I seeing this all wrong? Is purchasing a home together much different than being on a lease together? -- Major Investment

DEAR MAJOR INVESTMENT: It sounds like you two need to have a different conversation. What do you want for the future? Do you want to be in a committed relationship with each other? Do you want to get married? Does he? What does your future look like in your mind’s eye?

Yes, a mortgage is more permanent and serious than a lease, but many couples buy property together without being married. You two need to deal with the future of your relationship before tying up more resources together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband has recently been talking nonstop about moving out of Los Angeles and starting over in the suburbs. He says he’s tired of the traffic, the noise, the cost of living -- basically all the things that make L.A. what it is -- and he wants more space, a yard and what he calls a “calmer life.” The problem is, I love where we live. My job is here, my friends are here and, honestly, I’m energized by the city. I grew up in a small town, and the idea of going back to suburbia makes me feel like I’m losing a piece of myself. We’ve gone back and forth about it, but every conversation turns into an argument. He keeps saying I’m being stubborn, and I feel like he’s not hearing how big of a change this would be for me. I worry that if I give in, I’ll resent him later, but if he stays, he’ll resent me. We’ve even started avoiding the topic because we’re afraid of another blowup, which feels unhealthy. How do we find common ground when we want completely different lifestyles? What happens if neither of us is willing to compromise? -- To Move or Not To Move

DEAR TO MOVE OR NOT TO MOVE: This is a tough one. Someone is going to need to compromise. One thing I know is that there are many suburbs around Los Angeles, and you may be able to find a neighborhood that you both like, one that is not too far away but that affords a bit more space and comfort. It is worth driving around and looking. If you at least offer to consider his idea, it may open him up to reconsidering yours.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)