DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is an immigrant, and he has been out of work for nearly two years. He has cobbled together enough money to scrape by, but if he doesn’t find a job soon, I worry that he will lose his apartment. He has a few close friends, myself included, who have helped him whenever we can, but it’s getting to be too much. I, for one, have a family and am working hard to make sure we have enough resources to take care of each other. I feel horrible, but I can’t continue to finance my friend. I have told him about the SNAP program and other social services that can help him, but he’s too proud to look into it. Honestly, I’m not sure if he is even eligible, but I do know that it’s foolish to let pride keep you from trying to get the help you need. What can I do for him now that I can’t continue to support him financially? -- Friend in Crisis

DEAR FRIEND IN CRISIS: I’m so sorry for your friend. Sadly, there are many people today who are suffering. Talk to your friend one more time very plainly. Tell him you cannot afford to continue your financial support, but you are worried about him and think he should investigate government aid. The truth is, though, restrictions on who can receive SNAP benefits and Medicaid have tightened for immigrants. If your friend has a valid green card, he should be eligible. Suggest that he reconsider applying for that support -- for now. He doesn’t have to use it forever, but it is there to help people when they are in need.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just got a huge promotion at my job. They are doing a major reorganization, and somehow they have decided that I should have an important role in the restructuring. I am thrilled as I have worked overtime many hours to pitch in whenever needed and I have offered ideas, some of which they have used.

The problem is that many of my friends on the job are either not changing their roles at all or are being phased out. I want to celebrate my new title and pay increase, but I think it would be insensitive to do so around my friends who are currently worried if they will even have their jobs next year. What should I do? I don’t want to hide my good fortune, but I don’t want to rub it in anyone’s face either. -- Quiet Promotion

DEAR QUIET PROMOTION: First of all, congratulations on surviving and thriving during this time of financial hardship for many. It sounds like you have been resourceful and flexible, and you are being rewarded for it. You are smart to consider the optics of letting the world know your good fortune. Unless your boss is encouraging you to announce your promotion, now is the time to keep that to yourself. Do your job with your head up. Be aware of what’s happening in your friends’ lives. Be humble.

You can and should go to dinner or drinks with family and/or friends outside of your job. Don’t post your celebration on social media, though. Ask your friends to do the same.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I want to take a vacation with my best friend, but I don’t have the money to do so right now, and I feel incredibly embarrassed about it. We typically take a trip together every year, and it’s something we both look forward to because it helps us reconnect and make memories. This year, however, everything is different: I lost my job a few months ago and had to take another job that pays a lot less just to stay afloat.

I’ve been avoiding the vacation conversation because I don’t want her to think I’m unreliable or that I don’t care about our tradition. The truth is, I’m barely keeping up with my bills, and a vacation just isn’t possible. I’m worried she’ll be disappointed or think less of me. I’ve even thought about trying to put the trip on a credit card, but I know that would make my situation worse.

I’m torn between being honest with my friend and trying to save face. I keep practicing the conversation in my head, but every version makes me embarrassed. I want to handle this in a way that protects both our friendship and my dignity. How should I tell my friend that I can’t go on a trip this year? -- No Vacay

DEAR NO VACAY: If your friend truly is your “best friend,” she should understand. Tell her the truth: This has been a tough year for many people, including you. Your friend needs to know right away that you cannot take the trip. This will give her a chance to change her plans. Admit that you are embarrassed and disappointed in your circumstances right now. Obviously, you wanted to honor your tradition, but you have to pass this year. The end.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I need a new job. I have been working hard at my current job for several years now, but I am grossly underpaid. I know that my company is suffering due to the impact of the tariffs and what they are calling “DEI cutbacks,” but the reality is that my salary is low but the work remains intense. I need to make more money -- and fast. Don’t get me wrong: I love what we do, but I need more income in order to survive. I also love my boss and know he’s trying his best, but it’s just not enough. What should I do? -- Ready To Quit

DEAR READY TO QUIT: For many companies, this year has been a challenge financially. Yes, the new policies that have been put in place by the federal government have impacted many businesses, the fallout of that is not fully known yet. Does that mean you should leave your job? You certainly can look around to see if there are more lucrative opportunities, but do so discreetly and with care. I believe in abundance, which fundamentally means that there is enough to go around for everyone. It’s not always easy to find, though. Is there any way that you can help the company where you currently work differently so that they can get back on their feet? At the same time, keep your eyes open for part-time supplementary work as well as companies that may be more financially secure and able to pay a healthier wage.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My next-door neighbor has two young children and often seems to be stressed out. She is married, and her husband helps out some, but most of the work falls to her. I see her looking exhausted all the time. The lights are on in her house before dawn. I can see her cooking from my kitchen window. There’s always a pot on and dishes to wash. I see her doing homework with the kids and being attentive. After they go to sleep, I see her moving about and doing chores. She is a good mom, and it is a lot. I would like to do something for her, but I do not have the time or capacity to babysit. I also don’t want to just sit there and do nothing when I can see that she needs help. Any recommendations? -- Stressed-Out Neighbor

DEAR STRESSED-OUT NEIGHBOR: Do you know what they eat? Could you offer to make a platter of food for the family one night? Or pay for a food delivery so she gets a break from cooking?

The holidays are coming up. Perhaps you can offer to pay for a babysitter so she and her husband can have a date -- or so she can just have time off to do nothing. The gesture will likely be appreciated, and she may take you up on it. Do you enjoy wrapping gifts? You could offer to do that for her to take one thing off of her to-do list. There are so many small tasks she does every day, and if you cover even one of them, you’ll make her day brighter.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend and I have always given each other gifts for Christmas. It is something we have looked forward to doing for years. In the recent past, we have gone all out. We have saved up on occasion to be able to buy the perfect present. My problem this year is that I have extremely limited resources. I have been barely working, and it’s hard enough for me to pay my rent, let alone purchase a gift for anyone. Still, I don’t want to kill off this special experience that the two of us share. How can I address my limitations and get creative to be able to continue our tradition? -- Holiday Gift

DEAR HOLIDAY GIFT: My guess is that your best friend already has an inkling of how tight your budget is. Don’t you two talk about your lives? It’s good for you to want to manage expectations this year. Know, too, that your friend may already have your gift since Christmas is almost here.

Speak up and state your reality: Funds are limited, so you will have to get creative this year. Ask if you can do Christmas on a budget or even Christmas on no budget. Rather than spending money on each other, create a gift or design an experience. What does your best friend like to do that you can do together that is free or low cost? For example, dancing at the museum on Friday evening (when entry is free), or hiking in a nearby park and photographing the vista. Think outside the box.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)