DEAR READERS: I have worked at the same company for 12 years now, and I was recently promoted into a role that places me above several people who have mentored me in my career. These are colleagues who trained me, advocated for me and helped shape my professional growth, so stepping into a position where I now oversee or outrank them feels weird. I’m proud of being promoted, but I also feel awkward.

Since my promotion, I’ve noticed changes in my interactions with the co-workers who have mentored me to get to this point in my career. Some of them are polite but distant, while others seem less receptive to my ideas than they used to be. I find myself second-guessing my decisions or downplaying my authority because I don’t want to come across as arrogant. How do I respect the people who helped me get here while still stepping fully into my new position? Is it possible to maintain mutual respect without diminishing myself or making them uncomfortable? How can I manage the guilt and self-doubt that come with surpassing the very people who mentored me? -- Promoted

DEAR PROMOTED: Speak to your former mentors individually. Thank them for all of the support and love they have offered you over the years. Bring up this new stage in your career where you have been promoted to leadership. Admit that it feels awkward being in this new role. Repeat your gratitude for all their help. Tell them you hope you will make them proud as you step into this role. Then go for it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who calls me only to ask me to do something for somebody else. We have been friends for a long time, but he seems to think that it is my job to help various people in his life. I have agreed to mentor this one, connect that one to someone else, hire another one, give advice to yet another. Sometimes the people are extremely pushy and insistent. It seems like he has promised them that I will hook them up with things. While I don’t mind helping, I would much prefer being able to chat with my friend without any other obligations. He doesn’t seem to understand that. How can I get him to just be my friend without hurting his feelings when I don’t want to help his friends all the time? -- Be My Friend

DEAR BE MY FRIEND: Talk to your friend. Tell him that you would like to meet up, just the two of you, to enjoy a moment together. If you are able to organize that gathering, tell him in person that you miss your friendship stripped down from other people. Share that it can be overwhelming sometimes when he is constantly putting you in touch with people he wants you to help. While you are good at that, it can be too much at times. You don’t want to feel like every time he calls you, it is to have you hook up one of his friends. Ask him if he can call sometimes just to check in with you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My company recently hired a new entry-level colleague to our team, and I am annoyed that I am the one who has to train her. She graduated from college last May, and this is her first job. I understand that she is not expected to know anything, but our work is fast-paced, and it's frustrating to have to slow down for her to take the time to understand what’s going on. When I explain a task or walk her through a process, it doesn’t seem to click a lot of the time. As a result, I end up repeating myself or redoing work that I thought I had already explained, which adds to my own workload and stress.

When I first started working 15 years ago, I was just as clueless, so it’s hard for me to stay mad, especially since my new colleague genuinely wants to learn and do a good job, but it’s still annoying. I worry that constantly accommodating her learning curve is impacting my own performance and will affect my end-of-year bonus.

How do I balance being a supportive teammate and protecting my own time at work? Should I talk to my boss about the situation or try and continue training my colleague as best as I can? -- Reluctant Coach

DEAR RELUCTANT COACH: Pick specific times of the day when you will coach this employee. Tell her that you want to structure your interaction to make both of you more efficient. Suggest that she gather her questions and thoughts, consider her options and present you with her needs and challenges at those points in the day. This may help her to develop some independence and troubleshoot for herself.

You can also talk to your supervisor to ask for suggestions on how to support this employee more effectively. Don’t sound frustrated, though. Calmly share your concern and request support.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently met someone, and I am thrilled. I haven’t been in a relationship in years. When we attempted to get intimate, though, we had a major problem. I am a woman of a certain age, and it was too uncomfortable for successful penetration. We have tried a few times since with no success. I was shocked, as was my partner. This is so embarrassing. I didn’t know this could happen.

I’ve tried over-the-counter creams, but they didn’t work. There are so many of them, I don’t know what to choose. I’m afraid I will lose my guy if I can’t fulfill this part of our relationship. What can I do? -- Too Tight

DEAR TOO TIGHT: Make an appointment with a gynecologist who can examine you and make recommendations, including possible hormone therapy. Your condition is common for post-menopausal women and can often be remedied. Doctors suggest that estrogen replacement is what may partially reverse what is known as vaginal atrophy. Talk to your doctor and find out what may work for you. Ask your partner to be patient; there are other ways to satisfy that aspect of a relationship, and you can explore them in the meantime.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 19-year-old daughter is insecure about how she looks. She cries all the time and blames me for her appearance. I have no clue how to help her because every time I say that she is beautiful, she says I’m only saying that because I’m her mother. She is surrounded by social media images, unrealistic beauty standards and constant comparisons, and I fear that these influences have shaped how she sees herself way more than I ever could.

I feel helpless watching her struggle with such intense self-criticism at such a young age. I worry about how deeply rooted these feelings are and whether they will follow her into adulthood. I don’t know how to support her in a way that reaches her without making her feel dismissed or misunderstood. I asked her if she would like to go to therapy to help her gain confidence in herself, but she said that she is not interested. How can I help my daughter build confidence and self-worth when she doesn’t believe anything positive I say and refuses professional help? -- Self-Confidence

DEAR SELF-CONFIDENCE: Your daughter needs to see images beyond the beauty standards on social media to begin to gain a better view of herself. Take her to museums where there are images of people from around the world. Look for exhibitions that showcase different representations of beauty.

AI can be your friend in this situation: Go to ChatGPT or the like and upload your daughter’s photo. Ask who she looks like, and then see what images pop up. It will help her see that she is not alone. Remind her that many images she sees online have been manipulated in some way, and often the people she sees on her phone don’t look like that in real life.

Beauty is relative, and you want her to get to understand that. Friends of mine who just got married began their relationship because one of them, an artist, noticed the other, a writer, and thought she looked like an African sculpture. Classic standard of beauty? No, but Julia represented timeless African beauty to Jimmy, and they ultimately married many years later.

Your daughter needs to “find her tribe.” Her unique beauty will be appreciated somewhere. Meanwhile, remind her what my mother used to say: “Beauty is as beauty does.” True beauty exists within you based on how you treat people, not how you look.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A former boyfriend is having a big birthday, and I want to do something for him. The problem is that he stopped talking to me months ago. We had an argument, and he ghosted me. Later, though, he sent me an informational message on social media, but we have had little communication besides that. I’m not trying to reignite our relationship; I just want to do something nice for him for his birthday. What would be appropriate? -- Birthday Boy

DEAR BIRTHDAY BOY: Don’t go overboard. Clearly, he wants to keep his distance from you. Send him a chipper text wishing him a special day. Ask for nothing and expect nothing. You need to let him go.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)