News of the Weird

In September, nine-year veteran weathercaster Scott Stevens of KPVI-TV in Pocatello, Idaho, resigned to pursue his obsession of proving that the massiveness of Hurricane Katrina must have been caused by a Russian-made electromagnetic generator employed by the Japanese Yakuza in retaliation for the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945. The "patterns and odd geometric shapes" in the sky are "unmistakable" evidence, according to his Web site, that "our weather has been stolen from us." Station manager Bill Fouch said that Stevens was great at forecasting local conditions and that he was sorry to lose him.

-- More Weird Mating Habits: The longest-lasting copulation, according to University of Arizona biologist John Alcock (interviewed for an August Knight Ridder story), is that of the lowly "stick insect" (of the phasmida family), which goes on for several months at a time, even though, he said, it is "not clear this is welcome to the female." The male attaches himself to the female's back, which allows her to continue with her daily routine during the mating, while also discouraging competitor males. According to other biologists, some ticks spend up to eight hours on what resembles foreplay, and butterflies, snakes and houseflies can also go on for hours.

-- At Northern Ireland's Belfast Zoo in September, Phoebe the chimp and two others managed to climb out of their compound, and armed security guards had to come round them up. In an effort to frighten the animals into submission, they fired shots into the air, and according to the reporter for The Guardian newspaper, the chimps not only became docile at the sound of gunfire, but they put their hands up.

-- In September, veterinarian Jon-Paul Carew of the Imperial Point Animal Hospital in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., surgically removed a 13-inch-long serrated knife that had been swallowed by Elsie, a 6-month-old St. Bernard puppy, and the dog is now doing fine. The blade was lodged between her esophagus and stomach for about four days and was detected by an X-ray. Said Elsie's owner, "She wants to eat everything and anything."

-- Roy Singfield's Trample Fetish Club was set to open in late September or early October in Norwich, England, with a specialty of providing dominatrixes to walk on top of submissive clientele in a variety of shoes and boots (but supposedly with no sex involved). Singfield planned a Trample Room, a Crush room, and a Smoothing room (where the master sits on the client's head), with memberships starting at the equivalent of about $225 annually.

-- Several psychics are hard at work advising Australian business executives, providing such things as "intuitive diagnostics" of personnel systems and detecting "blockages" of the organizational structure (for hourly fees as high as the equivalent of US$290), according to a June report in Sydney's Sunday Telegraph. Psychic Sally de Beche advises clients based on her "holographic images" of the business cycle, and another, Stacey Demarco, a self-described "witch" (and author of the book "There's a Witch in the Boardroom"), builds business networks that she terms "covens."

-- A September sidewalk protest of a Henderson, Nev., Wal-Mart by the United Food and Commercial Workers (which seeks to unionize Wal-Mart, whose notoriously low wage structure is blamed by the union for low wages across the supermarket industry) was staffed by temporary workers hired by UFCW to picket in the hot sun for $30 for a five-hour shift. Said one picketer to the Las Vegas Weekly, "It don't make no sense, does it? We're sacrificing for the people who work in there, and they don't even know it."

Rochester, N.H., physician Terry Bennett has been scheduled for a December disciplinary hearing by the State Board of Medicine, based on a complaint that he much too bluntly warned an obese female patient to lose weight or face health and love-life problems (comments that allegedly caused her emotional distress). Said Bennett, "I tried to get her attention." Also, a 2001 complaint against Bennett, which had been dismissed, was revived by the board for the December hearing; he had allegedly told a patient in poor health following brain surgery that she might as well buy a gun and end her suffering.

A 28-year-old motorcyclist was hospitalized in Elkhart, Ind., in August after he was unable to avoid a refrigerator that was mysteriously lying on a well-lighted street in nearby Nappanee at 2:30 a.m. And a motorist was hospitalized in Madison, Wis., in July when he veered off the road slightly and accidentally rammed a dishwasher that had been left on the sidewalk. And on Interstate 295 near Westville, N.J., in August, a modular house (being transported by a truck) accidentally smacked into an abandoned SUV on the side of the road, knocking it into woods.

Whatever Happened to the Concept of Keeping a Low Profile? Sonja Aguirre, 18, was arrested in Greenwood Village, Colo., in March when, while allegedly carrying 265 pounds of marijuana worth an estimated $500,000, she decided to save a few steps and park in a handicap space. And Edgar Galvan, 28, and Jose Clark, 27, were arrested in Orlando, Fla., in July when, though allegedly carrying 550 pounds of marijuana, they nonetheless hauled it in an SUV with an expired license plate. And, according to police in Dayton, Ohio, in August, a man and a teenager, who were intending to rob a marijuana-growing couple of their large inventory, were arrested shortly beforehand when they tried to save a few bucks by shoplifting pantyhose (to wear as disguises in the robbery) from a Rite Aid drug store.

(1) Broward County (Fla.) school board member Robin Bartleman, explaining in July why she finally accepted an elementary school's new policy of no running on the playground: "To say 'no running' on the playground seems crazy, but your feelings change when you're in a closed-door meeting with lawyers." (2) The costume designer for the new movie "Superman Returns," explaining in September (in Newsweek) her toughest problem: "There was more discussion about Superman's 'package' than anything else on the suit. Was it too big? Was it not big enough? Was it too pointy? Too round?" (3) The child-targeted advertising slogan for Tomamasu Corp.'s new nonalcoholic beverage "Kidsbeer" (which looks and foams like beer but is actually a cola): "Even kids cannot stand life unless they have a drink."

According to an August report in The Guardian, British UFO sightings have fallen dramatically in the last few years, say prominent extraterrestrial-watchers in Cumbria County, England (which has seen a drop-off from 40 sightings in 2004 to none in the first seven months of 2005, although sightings continue to come in from elsewhere in the country). Explanations include a post-Sept. 11 worry about Earthbound threats, as well as the end of the TV series "The X Files." Furthermore, in August, British bookmakers told Independent Television News that betting action on whether Elvis Presley is alive has almost completely disappeared. Said bookie Rupert Adams, "It is perhaps the end of an era."

(1) No-sweat and no-odor clothes have hit the market recently, the products of several competing technologies. Britain's Ministry of Defense announced that it would equip soldiers in Afghanistan with heat-resistant, germ-fighting underwear. And the U.S. sports-gear manufacturer Brooks, which originally set out to design heat-dissipating clothes, found that its silver-ion technology also "electrocuted" bacteria, allowing (it claims) as many as 10 stink-free workouts between washings. (2) University of California, Merced, professor Christopher Viney collects and studies hippopotamus sweat, according to an August Fresno Bee report, hypothesizing that the ingredients can help develop sunscreens, bug repellents, and skin-infection protections for humans.

(Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679 or WeirdNewsTips@yahoo.com or go to www.NewsoftheWeird.com.)

Fire officials in Warrnambool, Australia, continue to investigate a Sept. 15 incident in which the carpet of a downtown business burned in several spots, following loud crackling noises, as Frank Clewer, 58, walked on it wearing woolen and nylon clothes. Fire official Henry Barton said the garments tested to over 30,000 volts of static electricity, and a lecturer in electrical engineering at Sydney University said that, given the weather and indoor temperature, such a buildup was possible, especially if the carpet had been cleaned with flammable substances. Pieces of the carpet, with coin-sized scorches, were sent to the university for further examination.

-- Debra Field was convicted of violating the Hobart, Ind., nuisance ordinance in July by keeping two 300-pound hogs as pets, after neighbors complained of the smell produced by the pigs' estimated 35 pounds of waste per day. Fields had testified, apparently seriously, that she personally couldn't smell her pigs at all.

-- Two former girlfriends of married New York City endocrinologist Khaled Zeitoun have sued him recently, according to a September New York Post story, claiming that they had been tricked for years by his lies. Tiffany Wang said that Dr. Zeitoun had (1) told her on their first date that they had been married in a previous life, that he regretted mistreating her, and that he had been searching for her in this lifetime to make amends; (2) told her that the devil had taken his soul 14 years earlier, that to get it back he had to agree never to marry, and that Wang was the first woman to make him regret the deal; and (3) that when he actually popped the question to Wang in May 2002, he never intended to marry her but wanted merely "to see the look of joy on her face."

-- The Appellate Court of Illinois ruled in July that the family of Detroy Marshall Sr. could proceed with its lawsuit against Burger King for Marshall's wrongful death caused when a car jumped the curb and crashed into a BK whose building was protected by a brick wall that the restaurant had built only a few feet from the ground instead of higher up. The trial court had dismissed the lawsuit, ruling that Burger Kings can't be expected to build fortresses against recklessly driven, airborne cars.

-- The state of California agreed in August to pay $10 million to the family of Marisol Morales, who accidentally drove her truck off of guardrail-less Highway 138, through a fence, and into the California Aqueduct near Los Angeles in 2003, killing her and two of her children. A surviving child will need $7.5 million for medical care, but $2.5 million will go to husband Raul Morales, an unlicensed driver who had originated the fatal trip by dispatching his wife, also unlicensed and just learning to drive, on an errand.

-- In August, a jury found Virginia death-row inmate Daryl Atkins mentally competent, based on a recent IQ score of 76 (thus beating the "70" standard, below which under state law he could not be executed). Prosecutors said two previous scores below 70 were deceptively low because of Atkins' drug and alcohol use, but legal experts hypothesized that Atkins' IQ had actually improved in recent years via the intellectual stimulation of discussing his case with lawyers.

-- (1) Lawyer Curtis Holmes, who had just delivered the opening statement in defense of an alleged child sex abuser in a Pocatello, Idaho, courtroom in August, was, minutes later, suspended by the state bar association for a previous case, in which he arranged to take nude photos of a client in exchange for reducing her bill. (2) Former L'Oreal executive Elysa Yanowitz won a preliminary round in her lawsuit against the company, which had fired her, she said, because she had refused to dismiss a dark-haired subordinate whom her blonde-preferring boss thought was not attractive enough (in other words, a woman whom L'Oreal thought was not "worth it").

The New York Post reported in July that several high-profile Manhattan dentists were offering sets of temporary teeth veneers to make patients' smiles resemble those of celebrities, at $1,000 to $2,000 a set; more popular veneers were the "Halle," the "Britney," the "Gwyneth," and, of course, for men, the "Tom" and the "George." And The Wall Street Journal reported in July on people who pay "lifestyle designers" up to $450 an hour to construct fanciful, all-new personnas for them, including proper wardrobe and home decor down to which gifts to give and which vacations to take. For example, an ad agency owner who wanted to project a "carefree" image had to be told to buy herself a turquoise 1955 Thunderbird and wear cowboy boots and a bright red scarf around town.

Brendan Francis McMahon, 36, a partner in a financial planning and mortgage brokerage in Sydney, Australia, was arrested in August for having sex with one pet rabbit and abusing others and was jailed without bail because the magistrate thought he posed a danger to animals in the community. McMahon was due back in court on Sept. 30, and police said they may charge him with more bestiality at that time. (McMahon's lawyer blamed a methamphetamine habit for any trouble he may be in.)

The Dominion Post of Wellington, New Zealand, reported in September the arrest of a recruit at the Porirua Royal New Zealand Police College, who in the course of learning fingerprint protocol, ran his own and discovered an outstanding assault warrant. He was immediately arrested. And in May, Laurie Ralston's plans to join the police department in Amherst, Ohio, as a dispatcher were scuttled when a background check revealed 17 traffic convictions and two outstanding warrants. She was immediately arrested.

In tests of busy hospitals in each state (reported in a July issue of the New England Journal of Medicine), it was discovered that at least 12,000 heart-attack patients in a six-month period were apparently not given the most basic, life-saving, follow-up instructions (such as prescribing aspirin in the first 24 hours after an attack, which increases survival rate by 30 percent). "(T)hings will fall through the cracks," said an author of the study. And a RAND Corp. survey released in August revealed that, of 19 public health clinics tested with telephone messages describing symptoms of facial pustules or other well-known indicators of small pox, not one of them told the caller to isolate the patient.

Thomas Haberbush, 72, pleaded guilty in April in Saratoga Springs, N.Y., to two counts to settle charges that he recently stalked as many as nine long-ago supervisors, with petty vandalism of their homes, in retaliation for his having received unfavorable job reviews as an elementary school teacher nearly 30 years ago. And retired political science professor Robert Spadaro was convicted in New York City in June of recently trying to kill Douglas Bennett, who was a personnel executive in the administration of President Ford and who in 1975 allegedly denied Spadaro a job.

In August, a 22-year-old motorcyclist going 100 mph to outrun police, who wanted to stop him for riding without a helmet, lost control and fatally crashed at the outskirts of the town of Bogart, Ga., ramming into the "Welcome to Bogart" sign. And in July, a 61-year-old farmer in the village of Cadjavacki Lug, Croatia, was accidentally killed when, as he prepared to milk a cow, he fell down, scaring the cow, and causing it to fall on top of him.

(Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679 or WeirdNewsTips@yahoo.com or go to www.NewsoftheWeird.com.)

-- For 25 years, Multnomah County, Ore., has set aside 1 percent of public building construction money for art, meaning almost $600,000 worth for its new $58 million jailhouse. Critics of the program say that art won't do much to battle crime in Multnomah, but on the other hand, so far, neither has the $58 million. The jail has been finished for a year, but as of September, it's still empty because county officials have not found a way to pay the operating expenses. If they ever do, inmates and visitors will be treated to such works as Thomas Sayre's concrete shipwreck sculpture.

-- City Officials Who Know How to Make News of the Weird: Mayor Felipe Santolia of Espertantina, Brazil, declared last May 9 as "Orgasm Day," pointing out that orgasms seem to make people happier and more productive. And Mayor Gabor Mitynan of a municipal district in Budapest, Hungary, declared in August that female workers should not wear revealing skirts to work unless they have "completely perfect legs," nor crop tops unless they have "well-trained bellies."

-- Government Service Is Tougher Than You Think: City council member Yvonne Lamanna, 58, filed a worker compensation claim earlier this year against the city of Penn Hills, Pa., when she suffered a severe back injury as she took her seat at the Feb. 7 council meeting. And the chief minister of the Malaysian state of Kedah ordered all members of the legislature from his party to learn how to catch snakes so they will be ready to help people in distress. "Otherwise," he said in June, "they will be standing there watching helplessly as victims cry (out)."

In July, the Transportation Security Agency fired Houston airport baggage handler Bassam Khalaf when it discovered that he is, off-duty, the "Arabic Assassin," a rap singer whose lyrics, according to TSA, glorify the 9-11 hijackers and threaten similar mayhem on the United States in the future. (Khalaf said his lyrics were an innocent effort to gain notoriety as a performer.)

In July, envelope-pushing strip club owner Howard White changed the main sign for his joint on Century Boulevard near Los Angeles International Airport from "Live Nude Nude Nudes" to "Vaginas R Us." Neighboring merchants immediately complained, but city officials said that "vagina" is simply not an obscene word. However, the city did cite White's sign for being made of illegal combustible vinyl. At press time, opponents of the sign were trying to encourage the Toys R Us company to force White to abandon the name as too similar to its own protected trademark.

-- Evelyn Davison, 74, of Austin, Texas, filed a lawsuit in June against a neighbor who had failed to bring in her empty garbage can after a pickup. Davison discovered it in her driveway, and, attempting to move it by herself, she said she was seriously injured when she accidentally fell into it. And the Minnesota Court of Appeals sent a case back to trial in May, ruling that Jenell Casarez could indeed sue Amy and David Klema for injuries suffered as a guest in their home. According to the lawsuit, Casarez needed to use the bathroom, which was occupied by David, and so with Amy's acquiescence, went to the basement and attempted to relieve herself in a concrete laundry tub, but when she climbed on top, it tipped over and crushed her fingertips. (Alcohol was involved, according to the trial court.)

-- Clumsiest Surviving Artist-Bombmaker: Chris Hackett, 33, built a small functional bomb that he was set to exhibit in the Lower Manhattan Cultural Council in New York City around the time of the Sept. 11 remembrances, but tried to assure worried exhibitors that it was only an art project and would not explode. Hackett is the artist who in January 2004 blew up part of his face when a propane tank exploded as he was hooking it up to fire a confetti cannon.

(1) Amir Husain, 17, and Anthony Nauman, 18, who allegedly burglarized a home in Mundelein, Ill., in August, were easily tracked down by police after the pair decided to build a Web site and post photos of their loot for sale, along with their contact information. (2) In the early morning hours of a July day on the Eastern Freeway in Doncaster, Australia, when a driver on a restricted permit was stopped for speeding (at the equivalent of more than 120 mph), he told the officer in apparent seriousness that he didn't realize the police worked that late. (We're a "24-hour organization," said a police spokesman.)

British insurance companies occasionally write policies on unconventional risks, as News of the Weird reported in 1996, when Goodfellow Rebecca Ingrams Pearson wrote a $160,000-equivalent policy covering alien abduction (including pregnancies resulting from the abduction, even if it is a male who gets pregnant, in the event that the aliens have such extraordinary powers that they can impregnate males). In July 2005, sponsors of the Visit Scotland Adventure Triathlon in Loch Ness announced they had purchased insurance from the company NIG to pay up to the equivalent of $1.8 million in case any of the competitors are attacked by the Loch Ness monster.

(1) Judge Jeffrey K. Sprecher of Berks County, Pa., dismissed charges against a man in August for buying beer for his underage neighbor, ruling that the prosecutor hadn't proved all of the elements of the crime. Specifically, said Sprecher, there was no evidence offered that Miller Genuine Draft is "beer." (Prosecutors usually submit a government-created listing of beers as proof but failed to do that.) (2) In August, police in London, Ontario, informed the mother of a college student murdered in 1990 that they had recently solved the case and were certain that the perp was a man on parole at the time and who died in 1994. However, said police, they cannot reveal his name because of "privacy laws."

(1) Rumors of dead people registered to vote in Venezuela are plentiful, but according to a Financial Times dispatch from Caracas, among the names (with ID numbers) appearing on the rolls in July was that of Henri Charriere, the reputedly awesome escapee-criminal known as Papillon, who died in 1973. (2) A truck hauling 8,000 live chickens overturned after being forced off the road near St. John's, Newfoundland, in July when, on a two-lane highway, a car veered into the wrong lane and headed for the truck. (Thus, the car driver might be said to have won the inadvertent game of "chicken" with the chicken-truck driver.)

From a Legal Notice of a Name Change in the Honolulu Advertiser, Aug. 24: from "Waiaulia Alohi anail ke alaamek kawaipi olanihenoheno Kam Paghmani" to "Waiaulia Alohi anail ke alaamek kawaipi olanihenoheno Kam."

(Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679 or WeirdNewsTips@yahoo.com or go to www.NewsoftheWeird.com.)