News of the Weird

Brett Backwell, Australian rules football player for Gleneig, a suburb of Adelaide, whose broken finger has hampered his playing for three years, decided in September to forgo bone fusion in favor of just having half the finger amputated. "(I)f that's going to help me to succeed at this level (of pro football), then it's something you've just got to do." (In 1985, San Francisco 49ers all-pro defensive back Ronnie Lott chose to have the tip of one finger amputated because surgery, and the rehabilitation necessary to repair the finger, would have caused him to miss one game.)

-- The Moscow Cats Theater still plays to packed houses in Russia, as described in News of the Weird in March 1998, but founder Yuri Kuklachev brought 26 of his improbably trained housecats to New York City's TriBeCa Performing Arts Center this fall to play weekends through October. Among the tricks: front paw stands; "tightrope" walking on a pole; and traversing the pole from underneath by grasping it with four legs (but one cat does it using only two legs). Kuklachev says each show is different because "(s)ometimes a cat doesn't want (to perform) one trick, so he does another."

-- Megalomaniac Roundup: (1) Turkmenistan's supreme leader Saparmurat Niyazov, chronicled here in 2002 (when he whimsically changed the names of the seven days of the week and the 12 months of the year) and 2004 (for insisting that all licensed drivers pass a "morality" test), said in September 2005 that his country would build a huge, natural-habitat zoo for a large array of species, including penguins, in a desert-like area of the country. (2) And North Korea's Kim Jong-il was touted by a spokesman in August 2005 as one who never forgets a phone number or even a single line of computer code. (Among his previously publicized skills in News of the Weird reports dating back to 1994 are writing operas, flying jets, producing movies and shooting 11 holes-in-one on the first round of golf he ever played.)

-- The Anchorage, Alaska, zoo has now completed the elephant treadmill it promised last year for its venerable "Maggie," age 23, and will unveil it in November, even though in the intervening year, she has lost about 1,000 of her then-9,000 pounds, through exercise and dieting. The treadmill is merely a humongous version of a treadmill for humans.

-- Los Angeles has become the U.S. epicenter for surgery for women seeking to "firm up" their genitals, with Dr. David Matlock the leading practitioner of "vaginal rejuvenation," according to a dispatch in Toronto's Globe and Mail in August. Much of the impetus comes from patients' (or their husbands' or boyfriends') desire for vulvas as trim and youthful as those of actresses in porno movies. News of the Weird first covered the phenomenon in December 1988 when a Dayton, Ohio, gynecologist was accused of surgically tightening a woman's vagina without her consent (at the behest of her husband during surgery for another condition). The doctor, James C. Burt, who wrote an early book on the subject, "The Surgery of Love," eventually lost his license and a $5 million malpractice verdict.

-- Florida artist Maria Alquilar returned to Livermore, Calif., in August to fix the large mosaic she created at the city library a year ago when the city paid her $40,000 but failed to spellcheck her names "(Albert) Eistein," "(William) Shakespere," "(Paul) Gaugan," "(Vincent) Van Gough" and seven others. She had initially refused to make the corrections, dismissing the errors as merely "words" and angry at being ridiculed, but she relented after the city offered her $6,000 more.

-- With increased job anxiety in China's market economy, more Chinese men and women are opting for painful body-lengthening procedures to get taller. A June 2005 report on China Radio International updated the 2002 News of the Weird story, in which "hundreds" were enduring the months-long "Ilizarov procedure" (forced breaking of bones in the leg, then manually adjusting leg braces four times a day that pull the bones slightly apart, then waiting as they grow back and fuse together). As a 33-year-old, 5-foot-tall woman (aiming for 5-4) said in 2002: "I'll have a better job, a better boyfriend, and eventually a better husband. It's a long-term investment."

-- News of the Weird has reported several times on psychotherapists who help patients "recover" "repressed" memories. According to the therapists, suddenly "remembering" a really astonishing event means that the event must have actually happened, but increasingly, patients realize that they were merely persuaded by aggressive psychotherapy (such as the Chicago-area woman who in February 2004 was awarded $7.5 million from two doctors who had, over a 12-year period, facilitated her false "memory" that she had bred children for a satanic cult). In August 2005, a leading skeptic of such therapists, Dr. Elizabeth Loftus, reported (in a National Academy of Sciences publication) how her research team had planted "memories" in her subjects' minds, actually convincing strawberry ice cream lovers, falsely, that they had forgotten that they used to hate the stuff.

-- Kaziah Hancock and Cindy Stewart are back in court in Salt Lake City after the Utah Court of Appeals granted them a new trial in July to try once again to get money from a breakaway Mormon sect headed by Jim Harmston. Hancock and Stewart had won $300,000 in 2002 after Harmston took their land in exchange for giving them a place to live and promising them a face-to-face meeting with Jesus Christ. (Harmston's defense was that God had told him to break that promise.)

-- Legislation advancing $453 million for the Alaskan "bridges to nowhere" described in a News of the Weird story in April 2004 (which would connect Ketchikan, pop. 7,800, with the town's airport, replacing a five-minute ferry boat ride with a bridge almost as big as the Golden Gate, and a two-mile-long span connecting Anchorage with a sparsely populated port) was finally passed by Congress in August 2005, as part of the 6,300 "earmark" pet projects of legislators, totaling $24 billion. The projects are back in the news as Congress considers cutting some in order to fund reconstruction on the Gulf Coast following Hurricane Katrina.

-- Former Cornelius, N.C., dentist John Hall pleaded guilty in July (an "Alford plea," acknowledging only the sufficiency of the evidence against him) to seven counts of misdemeanor assault on female patients, specifically, squirting semen into their mouths from a syringe. The state Board of Dental Examiners had revoked his license in 2004 after finding two syringes of semen in his office with patients' DNA (from saliva) on them. Hall's sentence was five years' probation, and his lawyer said he thought Hall would move to Jacksonville, Fla., and go into the flooring and tile business.

-- Robert Norton starred in News of the Weird several times since 1988, owing to his habit of (and more than 20 arrests for) annoying his Pekin, Ill., neighbors by doing yardwork naked. (When, in 1999, a judge finally told him that he would go to jail if he did it again, Norton said, "I can't (promise) anything.") He passed away in July 2005, at age 82, and despite his wishes, family members made sure that he was wearing clothes when he was buried.

-- It was reported here only a month ago as one of the "most frightening stories of the week," but as it turns out, the story had already been topped. In July, 644 people had gotten together in Kimberly, British Columbia, and simultaneously played accordions for half an hour. Thanks to a proud News of the Weird reader, it can now be reported, shudderingly, that the next month at a St. John's, Newfoundland, folk arts festival, the record was broken, by 989 accordionists.

(Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679 or WeirdNewsTips@yahoo.com or go to www.NewsoftheWeird.com.)

In September, nine-year veteran weathercaster Scott Stevens of KPVI-TV in Pocatello, Idaho, resigned to pursue his obsession of proving that the massiveness of Hurricane Katrina must have been caused by a Russian-made electromagnetic generator employed by the Japanese Yakuza in retaliation for the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945. The "patterns and odd geometric shapes" in the sky are "unmistakable" evidence, according to his Web site, that "our weather has been stolen from us." Station manager Bill Fouch said that Stevens was great at forecasting local conditions and that he was sorry to lose him.

-- More Weird Mating Habits: The longest-lasting copulation, according to University of Arizona biologist John Alcock (interviewed for an August Knight Ridder story), is that of the lowly "stick insect" (of the phasmida family), which goes on for several months at a time, even though, he said, it is "not clear this is welcome to the female." The male attaches himself to the female's back, which allows her to continue with her daily routine during the mating, while also discouraging competitor males. According to other biologists, some ticks spend up to eight hours on what resembles foreplay, and butterflies, snakes and houseflies can also go on for hours.

-- At Northern Ireland's Belfast Zoo in September, Phoebe the chimp and two others managed to climb out of their compound, and armed security guards had to come round them up. In an effort to frighten the animals into submission, they fired shots into the air, and according to the reporter for The Guardian newspaper, the chimps not only became docile at the sound of gunfire, but they put their hands up.

-- In September, veterinarian Jon-Paul Carew of the Imperial Point Animal Hospital in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., surgically removed a 13-inch-long serrated knife that had been swallowed by Elsie, a 6-month-old St. Bernard puppy, and the dog is now doing fine. The blade was lodged between her esophagus and stomach for about four days and was detected by an X-ray. Said Elsie's owner, "She wants to eat everything and anything."

-- Roy Singfield's Trample Fetish Club was set to open in late September or early October in Norwich, England, with a specialty of providing dominatrixes to walk on top of submissive clientele in a variety of shoes and boots (but supposedly with no sex involved). Singfield planned a Trample Room, a Crush room, and a Smoothing room (where the master sits on the client's head), with memberships starting at the equivalent of about $225 annually.

-- Several psychics are hard at work advising Australian business executives, providing such things as "intuitive diagnostics" of personnel systems and detecting "blockages" of the organizational structure (for hourly fees as high as the equivalent of US$290), according to a June report in Sydney's Sunday Telegraph. Psychic Sally de Beche advises clients based on her "holographic images" of the business cycle, and another, Stacey Demarco, a self-described "witch" (and author of the book "There's a Witch in the Boardroom"), builds business networks that she terms "covens."

-- A September sidewalk protest of a Henderson, Nev., Wal-Mart by the United Food and Commercial Workers (which seeks to unionize Wal-Mart, whose notoriously low wage structure is blamed by the union for low wages across the supermarket industry) was staffed by temporary workers hired by UFCW to picket in the hot sun for $30 for a five-hour shift. Said one picketer to the Las Vegas Weekly, "It don't make no sense, does it? We're sacrificing for the people who work in there, and they don't even know it."

Rochester, N.H., physician Terry Bennett has been scheduled for a December disciplinary hearing by the State Board of Medicine, based on a complaint that he much too bluntly warned an obese female patient to lose weight or face health and love-life problems (comments that allegedly caused her emotional distress). Said Bennett, "I tried to get her attention." Also, a 2001 complaint against Bennett, which had been dismissed, was revived by the board for the December hearing; he had allegedly told a patient in poor health following brain surgery that she might as well buy a gun and end her suffering.

A 28-year-old motorcyclist was hospitalized in Elkhart, Ind., in August after he was unable to avoid a refrigerator that was mysteriously lying on a well-lighted street in nearby Nappanee at 2:30 a.m. And a motorist was hospitalized in Madison, Wis., in July when he veered off the road slightly and accidentally rammed a dishwasher that had been left on the sidewalk. And on Interstate 295 near Westville, N.J., in August, a modular house (being transported by a truck) accidentally smacked into an abandoned SUV on the side of the road, knocking it into woods.

Whatever Happened to the Concept of Keeping a Low Profile? Sonja Aguirre, 18, was arrested in Greenwood Village, Colo., in March when, while allegedly carrying 265 pounds of marijuana worth an estimated $500,000, she decided to save a few steps and park in a handicap space. And Edgar Galvan, 28, and Jose Clark, 27, were arrested in Orlando, Fla., in July when, though allegedly carrying 550 pounds of marijuana, they nonetheless hauled it in an SUV with an expired license plate. And, according to police in Dayton, Ohio, in August, a man and a teenager, who were intending to rob a marijuana-growing couple of their large inventory, were arrested shortly beforehand when they tried to save a few bucks by shoplifting pantyhose (to wear as disguises in the robbery) from a Rite Aid drug store.

(1) Broward County (Fla.) school board member Robin Bartleman, explaining in July why she finally accepted an elementary school's new policy of no running on the playground: "To say 'no running' on the playground seems crazy, but your feelings change when you're in a closed-door meeting with lawyers." (2) The costume designer for the new movie "Superman Returns," explaining in September (in Newsweek) her toughest problem: "There was more discussion about Superman's 'package' than anything else on the suit. Was it too big? Was it not big enough? Was it too pointy? Too round?" (3) The child-targeted advertising slogan for Tomamasu Corp.'s new nonalcoholic beverage "Kidsbeer" (which looks and foams like beer but is actually a cola): "Even kids cannot stand life unless they have a drink."

According to an August report in The Guardian, British UFO sightings have fallen dramatically in the last few years, say prominent extraterrestrial-watchers in Cumbria County, England (which has seen a drop-off from 40 sightings in 2004 to none in the first seven months of 2005, although sightings continue to come in from elsewhere in the country). Explanations include a post-Sept. 11 worry about Earthbound threats, as well as the end of the TV series "The X Files." Furthermore, in August, British bookmakers told Independent Television News that betting action on whether Elvis Presley is alive has almost completely disappeared. Said bookie Rupert Adams, "It is perhaps the end of an era."

(1) No-sweat and no-odor clothes have hit the market recently, the products of several competing technologies. Britain's Ministry of Defense announced that it would equip soldiers in Afghanistan with heat-resistant, germ-fighting underwear. And the U.S. sports-gear manufacturer Brooks, which originally set out to design heat-dissipating clothes, found that its silver-ion technology also "electrocuted" bacteria, allowing (it claims) as many as 10 stink-free workouts between washings. (2) University of California, Merced, professor Christopher Viney collects and studies hippopotamus sweat, according to an August Fresno Bee report, hypothesizing that the ingredients can help develop sunscreens, bug repellents, and skin-infection protections for humans.

(Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679 or WeirdNewsTips@yahoo.com or go to www.NewsoftheWeird.com.)

Fire officials in Warrnambool, Australia, continue to investigate a Sept. 15 incident in which the carpet of a downtown business burned in several spots, following loud crackling noises, as Frank Clewer, 58, walked on it wearing woolen and nylon clothes. Fire official Henry Barton said the garments tested to over 30,000 volts of static electricity, and a lecturer in electrical engineering at Sydney University said that, given the weather and indoor temperature, such a buildup was possible, especially if the carpet had been cleaned with flammable substances. Pieces of the carpet, with coin-sized scorches, were sent to the university for further examination.

-- Debra Field was convicted of violating the Hobart, Ind., nuisance ordinance in July by keeping two 300-pound hogs as pets, after neighbors complained of the smell produced by the pigs' estimated 35 pounds of waste per day. Fields had testified, apparently seriously, that she personally couldn't smell her pigs at all.

-- Two former girlfriends of married New York City endocrinologist Khaled Zeitoun have sued him recently, according to a September New York Post story, claiming that they had been tricked for years by his lies. Tiffany Wang said that Dr. Zeitoun had (1) told her on their first date that they had been married in a previous life, that he regretted mistreating her, and that he had been searching for her in this lifetime to make amends; (2) told her that the devil had taken his soul 14 years earlier, that to get it back he had to agree never to marry, and that Wang was the first woman to make him regret the deal; and (3) that when he actually popped the question to Wang in May 2002, he never intended to marry her but wanted merely "to see the look of joy on her face."

-- The Appellate Court of Illinois ruled in July that the family of Detroy Marshall Sr. could proceed with its lawsuit against Burger King for Marshall's wrongful death caused when a car jumped the curb and crashed into a BK whose building was protected by a brick wall that the restaurant had built only a few feet from the ground instead of higher up. The trial court had dismissed the lawsuit, ruling that Burger Kings can't be expected to build fortresses against recklessly driven, airborne cars.

-- The state of California agreed in August to pay $10 million to the family of Marisol Morales, who accidentally drove her truck off of guardrail-less Highway 138, through a fence, and into the California Aqueduct near Los Angeles in 2003, killing her and two of her children. A surviving child will need $7.5 million for medical care, but $2.5 million will go to husband Raul Morales, an unlicensed driver who had originated the fatal trip by dispatching his wife, also unlicensed and just learning to drive, on an errand.

-- In August, a jury found Virginia death-row inmate Daryl Atkins mentally competent, based on a recent IQ score of 76 (thus beating the "70" standard, below which under state law he could not be executed). Prosecutors said two previous scores below 70 were deceptively low because of Atkins' drug and alcohol use, but legal experts hypothesized that Atkins' IQ had actually improved in recent years via the intellectual stimulation of discussing his case with lawyers.

-- (1) Lawyer Curtis Holmes, who had just delivered the opening statement in defense of an alleged child sex abuser in a Pocatello, Idaho, courtroom in August, was, minutes later, suspended by the state bar association for a previous case, in which he arranged to take nude photos of a client in exchange for reducing her bill. (2) Former L'Oreal executive Elysa Yanowitz won a preliminary round in her lawsuit against the company, which had fired her, she said, because she had refused to dismiss a dark-haired subordinate whom her blonde-preferring boss thought was not attractive enough (in other words, a woman whom L'Oreal thought was not "worth it").

The New York Post reported in July that several high-profile Manhattan dentists were offering sets of temporary teeth veneers to make patients' smiles resemble those of celebrities, at $1,000 to $2,000 a set; more popular veneers were the "Halle," the "Britney," the "Gwyneth," and, of course, for men, the "Tom" and the "George." And The Wall Street Journal reported in July on people who pay "lifestyle designers" up to $450 an hour to construct fanciful, all-new personnas for them, including proper wardrobe and home decor down to which gifts to give and which vacations to take. For example, an ad agency owner who wanted to project a "carefree" image had to be told to buy herself a turquoise 1955 Thunderbird and wear cowboy boots and a bright red scarf around town.

Brendan Francis McMahon, 36, a partner in a financial planning and mortgage brokerage in Sydney, Australia, was arrested in August for having sex with one pet rabbit and abusing others and was jailed without bail because the magistrate thought he posed a danger to animals in the community. McMahon was due back in court on Sept. 30, and police said they may charge him with more bestiality at that time. (McMahon's lawyer blamed a methamphetamine habit for any trouble he may be in.)

The Dominion Post of Wellington, New Zealand, reported in September the arrest of a recruit at the Porirua Royal New Zealand Police College, who in the course of learning fingerprint protocol, ran his own and discovered an outstanding assault warrant. He was immediately arrested. And in May, Laurie Ralston's plans to join the police department in Amherst, Ohio, as a dispatcher were scuttled when a background check revealed 17 traffic convictions and two outstanding warrants. She was immediately arrested.

In tests of busy hospitals in each state (reported in a July issue of the New England Journal of Medicine), it was discovered that at least 12,000 heart-attack patients in a six-month period were apparently not given the most basic, life-saving, follow-up instructions (such as prescribing aspirin in the first 24 hours after an attack, which increases survival rate by 30 percent). "(T)hings will fall through the cracks," said an author of the study. And a RAND Corp. survey released in August revealed that, of 19 public health clinics tested with telephone messages describing symptoms of facial pustules or other well-known indicators of small pox, not one of them told the caller to isolate the patient.

Thomas Haberbush, 72, pleaded guilty in April in Saratoga Springs, N.Y., to two counts to settle charges that he recently stalked as many as nine long-ago supervisors, with petty vandalism of their homes, in retaliation for his having received unfavorable job reviews as an elementary school teacher nearly 30 years ago. And retired political science professor Robert Spadaro was convicted in New York City in June of recently trying to kill Douglas Bennett, who was a personnel executive in the administration of President Ford and who in 1975 allegedly denied Spadaro a job.

In August, a 22-year-old motorcyclist going 100 mph to outrun police, who wanted to stop him for riding without a helmet, lost control and fatally crashed at the outskirts of the town of Bogart, Ga., ramming into the "Welcome to Bogart" sign. And in July, a 61-year-old farmer in the village of Cadjavacki Lug, Croatia, was accidentally killed when, as he prepared to milk a cow, he fell down, scaring the cow, and causing it to fall on top of him.

(Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679 or WeirdNewsTips@yahoo.com or go to www.NewsoftheWeird.com.)