A well-meaning neighbor's attempt to save his friend from a dog attack went south on Feb. 5 in Adams, Massachusetts. Berkshire District Attorney Andrea Harrington told the Associated Press the neighbor heard yelling shortly after noon and discovered his friend being attacked by his own dog and his girlfriend's dog. The good Samaritan returned to his apartment, got the crossbow he used for hunting and fired it up a stairwell at one of the dogs. But the bolt glanced off the dog and went through the door into the apartment where it struck and killed the victim. Harrington said the dogs had a history of aggression and were usually kept in separate kennels. She described the man as "very distraught" and did not expect criminal charges to be filed. Officers responding to the scene shot both dogs. [Associated Press, 2/6/2020]

Prespective

Juan Zamora, 63, of Kissimmee, Florida, needed directions on Feb. 8 and flashed his headlights at a Marion County Sheriff's squad car to ask for help, the Ocala Star-Banner reported. Deputy Calvin Batts obliged, but during the conversation, he noticed Zamora smelled like alcohol and was unsteady on his feet, according to the arrest report. Zamora then resisted Batts' request to take a breath test, saying, "You didn't pull me over. I pulled you over," and told the officer he is "legally disabled," which would account for his instability. However, it wouldn't explain the bag of white powder found in Zamora's shirt pocket, which field-tested positive for cocaine, according to the report. Batts also reported finding a two-thirds-full bottle of Canadian whiskey and a 15-year-old passenger in the vehicle. Zamora was arrested and charged with DUI and possession of cocaine. [Ocala Star-Banner, 2/10/2020]

Police Report

Shareeka Strawn, 28, must have panicked when the car she was riding in was pulled over by police in Wichita Falls, Texas, on Jan. 15 for a minor traffic violation. According to the probable cause affidavit, Strawn, who had several outstanding warrants, identified herself as Porshala Strawn, but was apparently unaware that a records check revealed Porshala also had an outstanding warrant. The Times Record News reported Shareeka was arrested and is facing a number of charges, including allegedly giving a false name. [Times Record News, 2/4/2020]

What's in a Name?

A former employee of a finance firm is behind bars in Macon County, Tennessee, after allegedly stealing $51,000 in customer loan payments, WATE reported. Serena Swindle, 41, was arrested on Feb. 5 after a yearlong investigation by the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation. She was held on $3,500 bond at the Macon County Jail. [WATE, 2/5/2020]

Bright Idea

Ryan Sentelle State, 37, has been arrested in Salt Lake City after police said he admitted using mice and hamsters to get free hotel rooms. KUTV reported on Jan. 30 that authorities allege State would release the rodents in a hotel room, then complain about them, prompting hotel workers to offer the room for free. State faces charges of theft by deception and criminal mischief. [KUTV, 1/30/2020]

Chutzpah!

On Dec. 19, five prisoners in Belgium's Turnhout Prison escaped by climbing over a wall and jumping into a getaway car waiting nearby, Newsweek reported. Four of the men were captured within a few weeks, but officials failed to track down Oualid Sekkaki, 26, who was serving time for drug possession. Sekkaki added insult to injury when a letter arrived at the prison on Jan. 20. Inside was Sekkaki's prison badge and a card saying "Greetings from Thailand." Sekkaki, who hails from an infamous Moroccan prison-escaping family, is still at large. [Newsweek, 1/22/2020]

Awesome!

Residents of an apartment building in Kerala, India, were surprised on Feb. 3 when a pungent mixture of beer, brandy and rum began flowing from their faucets instead of water. Officials told the BBC that about 6,000 liters of alcohol confiscated on court orders had been buried in a pit nearby, but it seeped through the soil into the well used as a water source for the building. "The children couldn't go to school, and even their parents couldn't go to work," Joshy Malyiekkal, the building owner, said. [BBC, 2/6/2020]

Sweet Revenge

Housepainter Dean Reeves of Bolsover, England, came to a slow realization that his client, Terry Taylor, was never going to pay him the rest of what he says he is owed for painting Taylor's building. So in January, Reeves took his complaint public and painted a graffiti message on the building's exterior: "Want your house painting? Don’t be like Terry. Pay the bill! Now you will!" According to Oddity Central, Reeves said Taylor "changed the job, kept asking me to do extra work. ... He kept saying, 'I'll pay you tomorrow,' but tomorrow never came." For his part, Taylor denies Reeves' accusations and is threatening to press criminal charges. [Oddity Central, 2/7/2020]

Government in Action

-- The Washington, D.C., Metro has spent five years and $3.8 million building two still-unfinished bike racks at two of its stations, WJLA reported on Feb. 12. The original budget for the two covered racks, which each will house 92 bikes, was $600,000 apiece. "Quality control issues with contractors can take time to sort out," the Metro said in a statement, "but Metro determined it was important to get the project done right rather than get it done quickly." It hopes the projects, first set to be completed in December of 2015, will be finished in the next few months. [WJLA, 2/12/2020]

-- Giovanni Palmiero, 101, has been living in the United Kingdom since 1966, so logically, he applied to remain there after Brexit. Alarmingly, the Home Office demanded that Palmiero's parents confirm his identity and accompany him to an office in north London to make his application. Dimitri Scarlato, a volunteer helping Palmiero, immediately realized the computer had read his birth year as 2019 instead of 1919. "I phoned the Home Office and it took two calls and a half an hour for them to understand," Scarlato told The Guardian. Palmiero has been married to his 92-year-old wife, Lucia, for 75 years. They will be able to remain in the U.K. [The Guardian, 2/12/2020]

Clever

An unnamed 47-year-old Italian woman convicted of fraud in 2017 in Sicily has been on the run since then, The Guardian reported, eluding authorities by hiding in convents. The woman moved to the northern regions of Italy and phoned convents pretending to be a sister "looking for help and claiming she was severely ill," investigators said. As she moved from convent to convent, she changed her identity, duping nuns who trusted her and thought her to be kind. Finally, a Benedictine nun grew suspicious and phoned police, telling them her stories were "full of contradictions." Authorities verified her identity and arrested her. She now faces further charges of claiming false identity. [The Guardian, 2/13/2020]

The Times of India reports that Soni Devi, 20, of Vaishali district, petitioned the state women's commission on Jan. 9 for divorce from her husband of two years, Manish Ram, 23, complaining, "My husband stinks as he won't shave and bathe for nearly 10 days at a stretch. Moreover, he doesn't brush his teeth. He also doesn't have manners and follow etiquette. ... Kindly get me rid of this man; he has ruined my life." Commission member Pratima Sinha told the Times, "I was taken aback by her silly reasons," but nonetheless, the commission will give the husband "two months' time to mend his ways. If his behavior is not found satisfactory even after that, we will ... refer the matter to the family court for separation." Manish reportedly promised to mend his ways. [Times of India, 1/10/2020]

Irony

Sauntore Thomas, 44, of Detroit, presented three checks at his bank on Jan. 21 that he had received as settlement in a race discrimination lawsuit against his former employer, according to the Detroit Free Press. Instead of accepting the checks, TCF Bank in Livonia, where Thomas was an established customer, summoned police and initiated a fraud investigation. Thomas' attorney, Deborah Gordon, told the Free Press, "Obviously, assumptions were made the minute he walked in based on his race." Thomas finally closed his existing accounts, left the bank and deposited the checks at a different bank without any trouble. The next day, Thomas filed a lawsuit against TCF Bank alleging race discrimination and asking for unspecified damages and an apology from the company. [Detroit Free Press, 1/23/2020]

Overreaction

The moral of this story: Don't hog the bacon. Gregory Seipel, 47, of Ludlow Falls, Ohio, was arrested on Jan. 30 after being accused of attacking a man with a knife during an argument over bacon, WHIO-TV reported. The unnamed victim told Miami County Sheriff's officers he had made bacon that morning for breakfast, and Seipel took issue with the amount he had eaten. The argument escalated until Seipel allegedly grabbed the victim by the back of the head and held a razor blade to his neck, cutting him. Seipel was charged with felonious assault and was held on $50,000 bond. [WHIO, 2/3/2020]

Valentine's Greetings

-- If you'd like to get a special gift for an ex this Valentine's Day, Centre Wildlife Care in Port Matilda, Pennsylvania, has just the thing. In exchange for a donation to a fund for restoring local bat populations, the rescue organization will name a mealworm after your ex, and Betsy the large brown bat will eat it. Donate more than $45, and you'll receive a personalized video of Betsy devouring the treat. "Essentially, people will be naming the mealworms after someone they don't like," Executive Director Robyn Graboski told WTAJ, "and we will feed them to the bat." [WTAJ, 2/3/2020]

-- If you have lifetime commitment on your mind this Valentine's Day, Domino's Australia wants to help out. The pizza chain announced a contest on Feb. 3 in which the winner will receive a diamond-encrusted engagement ring in the shape of a pizza slice worth $9,000, Fox News reported. Fans can enter with a 30-second video detailing "how you will involve pizza in your proposal," according to the company. Good luck! [Fox News, 2/3/2020]

Life Imitates a TV Drama

Two chemistry professors at Henderson State University in Arkadelphia, Arkansas, were formally charged on Feb. 3 with manufacturing methamphetamines and possession, KTHV reported. Terry David Bateman, 45, and Bradley Allen Rowland, 40, both associate professors, were arrested on Nov. 15 and had been on administrative leave since Oct. 11, after the science center on campus was closed because of a chemical odor. It reopened on Oct. 29 after testing, but in the meantime, according to court documents, faculty members reported to the Clark County Sheriff's Office the two were acting in a way that indicated "these persons were involved in some type of illegal activity." The suspects had also lost weight and were "extremely guarded" about who was in their laboratories and when. (Should have sprung for the RV.) [KTHV, 2/3/2020]

Unintended Consequences

In the fall of 2018, the Florida Department of Law Enforcement launched Fortify Florida, an app intended for students to anonymously report suspicious activity. Since then, more than 6,000 tips have been received statewide, but school officials are feeling mostly frustration, reports WFTS in Tampa. Indian River County Superintendent Dr. David Moore said students will "talk about the flavor of the food in the cafeteria." Pasco Superintendent Kurt Browning said, "The number of kids entering bogus tips is consuming a great deal of resources. ... There's a coyote in my front yard," was one example. Indian River Country authorities spent hours investigating a report of a student planning to shoot up a high school, only to find out it was a revenge report for a recent breakup. Florida lawmakers are considering a bill to allow authorities to track tipsters' IP addresses and prosecute those who submit false information. [WFTS, 2/3/2020]

Compelling Explanation

Ottawa, Ontario, businessman Bruce McConville, 55, who ran for mayor in the last election with a tough-on-crime platform, has gone to great lengths to avoid paying his ex-wife the spousal and child support he was ordered by the court to provide. The Ottawa Citizen reports McConville has long defied several court orders involving his finances, finally telling Superior Court Justice Kevin Phillips he withdrew over $1 million (Canadian) from six bank accounts, but he no longer had the cash. "I burnt it," he told the incredulous judge, who replied, "I don't believe you, I don't trust you, I don't think you're honest," and on Jan. 28 sentenced McConville to 30 days in jail, after which he'll face penalties of $2,000 for each day he fails to provide a full account of his finances, including where the $1 million-plus in cash is. The fines will be paid directly to his ex-wife. "You cannot thumb your nose at the court as you have done," Phillips warned. [Ottawa Citizen, 2/4/2020]

Inexplicable

David Baird of Yukon, Oklahoma, took up arms against his neighbor, John Stafford, after Stafford went on a bizarrely violent rant on Feb. 5, KFOR reported. Stafford assaulted the neighborhood for 12 hours, throwing feces into the Bairds' yard and trying to break down a fence using a Roomba vacuum cleaner. As he and his family took shelter in their home, Baird warned Stafford: "If you break through this fence, I will have to shoot you." Finally the bomb squad and SWAT team were called in, and Stafford barricaded himself inside his home, making six calls to 911 during the ordeal. "I am going to run you guys into the f-ing ground," he said during one. "OK, have a nice night," the dispatcher replied. Eventually officers released cans of pepper spray to budge Stafford from his house. He was charged with planning an act of violence. [KFOR, 2/6/2020]

Matthew Davies, 47, of Dunfermline, Scotland, pleaded guilty on Jan. 17 to assault and robbery in the case of a bumbling Bank of Scotland holdup in September, the Daily Record reported. On that day, Davies charged into the bank with a meat cleaver in hand and a pillowcase over his head. Unfortunately, he had neglected to cut eyeholes in the pillowcase and therefore couldn't see -- so he had to take it off. Undeterred, Davies used the cleaver to batter a glass partition on the counter and eventually took off with almost 2,000 pounds, casually wandering toward home, even stopping to pet a dog along the way. One brave customer of the bank followed Davies to his home and alerted police; there they found cash and the pillowcase, along with a stun gun. He'll be sentenced in February. [Daily Record, 1/18/2020]

Police Report

Antoine McDonald, 21, of Altamonte Springs, Florida, became famous last year for dressing up as the Easter Bunny in Orlando, but he found his costume unhelpful on Jan. 16 after ramming his motorcycle into a carport, which collapsed on a car parked there, according to the Florida Highway Patrol. The motorcycle then hit a fence and flipped over, and a neighbor observed the Easter Bunny limping away from the scene. When officers caught up with McDonald, lying in the back ßseat of a car, he denied involvement in the crash: "I wasn't in any crash. I'm the Orlando Easter Bunny. Google it," he claimed. "The bunny appeared to be alive," officers reported, according to the Orlando Sentinel, and they asked him to remove the costume before arresting him and transporting him to the hospital for rib and leg injuries sustained in the crash. [Orlando Sentinel, 1/24/2020]

People With Issues

-- A mystery was solved on Jan. 22 in Natick, Massachusetts, when police arrested Andrea F. Grocer, 51, of Ashland, on suspicion of defecating in front of the Natick Outdoor Store eight times over the last four months. Henry Kanner, the store's owner, had reported the incidents to police in December, and officers first thought an animal might be the culprit -- until they found "toilet paper and other wipes," Natick police spokesperson Lt. Cara Rossi told The MetroWest Daily News. Some of the incidents had been recorded by surveillance video, but police hadn't been able to identify a license plate. During extra patrols of the parking lot, they spotted Grocer at 6:51 a.m. as she prepared to leave her mark again, police said. "I have no idea who she is," Kanner said, adding that he knows of no connection she has with the store. Grocer's lawyer described her as a "pillar of the community." [MetroWest Daily News, 1/22/2020]

-- Now-retired high school English teacher Jeffrey S. Churchwell, 60, of Elkhorn, Wisconsin, apologized to Walworth County Sheriff's deputies in October and admitted that he had been defecating, sometimes several times a day, since 2017 outside and on a building in the rural Natureland Park in Whitewater. The Milton Courier reported Brent Brooks of the Walworth County Highway Shop met with deputies in October about the repeated offenses, which required parks department workers to power-wash and sometimes repaint facilities, on top of picking up used toilet paper. Trail cameras recorded the man relieving himself, and deputies caught up with Churchwell on Oct. 8. When asked why, he replied, "Stupidity," according to sheriff's office reports. Churchwell was charged with disorderly conduct and was ordered to pay more than $6,000 in fines and restitution. He was put on leave from the Milton School District on Nov. 25; his retirement took effect Jan. 16. [Milton Courier, 1/2/2020]

Unclear on the Concept

United Press International reported that an unnamed man in Orlando, Florida, got a little mixed up as he tried to fill his boat's gas tank before a fishing trip on Jan. 27. Rather than putting the gas nozzle into the fuel tank, the man inserted it into a fishing pole holder and pumped 30 gallons of gas directly into the cockpit. Orange County Fire Rescue was called to the 7-Eleven, and a hazmat team siphoned most of the errant gas from the boat before the fisherman filled up the actual tank and went on his way. [UPI, 1/28/2020]

Oops!

In June 2019, the city of Roubaix, France, proudly announced it had installed 187 solar panels to generate electricity for the city's library, and paid a local company about $113,000 for the "green" equipment. But during the installation of a wind turbine to supplement the clean energy effort in December, workers noticed the solar panels had never been connected to the library's electrical network. Oddity Central reported the panels were intended to supply about a quarter of the library's needed power, but "we realized this was not the case," admitted Alexandre Garcin, the city's deputy mayor, who did not elaborate on why it took six months to figure out the oversight. [Oddity Central, 1/29/2020]

Creepy

Houston mother Emily Madonia's nightmare began in 2015, when the Elsa (from "Frozen") doll her daughter received for Christmas 2013 began reciting lines from the movie in both English and Spanish; originally it had only spoken English. Next, the doll began speaking and singing randomly, even when her on/off switch was in the OFF position. In December 2019, Madonia threw the doll out, Click2Houston reported, but she and her husband later found the doll in a bench inside their home. So they double wrapped the doll in plastic bags and "put it in the bottom of our garbage can," Madonia wrote on Facebook. Days later, her daughter found the doll again in the backyard. Finally, Madonia sent the doll to a friend who lives in Minnesota, where it remained at press time. In the meantime, Madonia has been contacted by paranormal investigators and the Travel Channel. [Click2Houston, 1/18/2020]

Suspicions Confirmed. Not.

Ben Lilly, 40, on his way to Halifax in West Yorkshire, England, on Jan. 25 passed an object in the road that looked like a dead animal -- a leopard, to be specific. Lilly stopped and turned around, carefully approaching the large cat. He told Metro News his heart was racing and he was afraid his face might be "ripped off" by the beast. "I saw the markings on it. It had the tail bit on it, too," Lilly said. "But as soon as I looked at it from the other angle, I started laughing." It turned out to be a leopard-print jumpsuit, complete with tail. Lilly speculated on Facebook it might be "some tart's coat from last night. ... It was Saturday morning and Halifax is a bit of a drinking town." [Metro News, 1/30/2020]