Q: With two working adults and three teens in the house, I feel like our family is more disconnected than ever; everybody seems to be on their own schedule. What's one thing we can do to stay close?

Jim: I'll ask this: How often does your family have dinner together? I know it's challenging -- it sure is in our house -- but it's one of the best time investments you can make.

The statistics speak for themselves. The largest federally funded study of American teenagers found a strong link between regular family meals and academic success, psychological health, as well as lower rates of alcohol and drug abuse, early sexual activity and suicide. A 2005 Columbia University study found that teenagers who eat with their families at least five times a week are more likely to get better grades and less likely to have substance abuse problems. A University of Michigan study found that mealtime is the single greatest predictor of better achievement -- more than studying, sports or other school activities. And research conducted at the University of Minnesota found that adolescent girls who ate with their families regularly were at far less risk for anorexia and bulimia than girls who didn't eat with their families.

I could quote studies all day, but I think we all know that it's just common sense. It's a beneficial thing for families to spend time together whenever possible.

Q: Should I be concerned that my son is still sucking his thumb? It's an embarrassing habit in a boy his age (almost 5). I've done everything I can think of to get him to stop, but nothing seems to work.

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting and Youth: Research supports the fact that we tend to rely on familiar habits when we're under stress. However, we also have the ability to intentionally create new habits when stressed, so this could be a great opportunity to learn about what's stressful for your 5-year-old and teach him some new ways to handle it.

The difficulty is figuring out what is causing stress in your son's case, because even boredom can cause stress. Some of us can handle a lot of stress and some only a little; everyone has a different threshold.

Provide your child with some alternatives to handling stress. As he embraces other tools you give him, celebrate! For example, every time he chooses a squeeze ball or Play-Doh over his thumb, then you put cotton balls in a jar or tallies on a sheet. When he reaches 10, then maybe it's time to do something fun together, such as a trip to the park. Regardless of what you choose, it needs to be something he sees as a fun celebration, not a reward. You are helping him learn to celebrate the hard work that goes into conquering and managing stress. What a great life skill!

The key is having patience and consistently providing new ways to deal with stress that match your child's interests and temperament. Calmly redirect the behaviors and help your son realize there are many different ways to make him feel better. If he continues to suck his thumb as the months or years progress, you will need to meet with a professional therapist to help assess what is causing him to constantly self-soothe.

Keep in mind that thumb sucking can just be a habit with roots in infancy, and not connected with deeper psychological problems. Many parents get anxious when it continues past babyhood, long after "other people's" children have stopped.

If you'd like to discuss this issue at greater length with our staff counselors, call 1-855-771-HELP (4357).

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: One of my friends was recently widowed, and someone in my extended family has been diagnosed with a serious (possibly terminal) illness. I see both of them fairly often and want to encourage them, but I feel awkward.

Jim: It's natural to want to ease a loved one's pain. But we've all stumbled through enough uncomfortable moments to know finding the right words can be tricky.

Still, you can offer something meaningful and truly comforting to a friend or family member who's struggling. To start with, don't try to avoid whatever dark emotion they're feeling. Be willing to enter into it. It's when you're running away from a person's pain that you'll tend to say something trite or insensitive.

Instead, connect with the person by saying, "I'm here for you." Then, stay engaged. You see, there may be moments along the way when everything in their life seems relatively back to normal. That's usually when most people minimize the ongoing crisis their loved one is experiencing. And it's why it's one thing to say you'll be there, but another to actually stay involved for what could still be a long journey ahead.

Another idea is to simply say, "You're in my prayers" (and really pray, of course). There may even be days when it's best to say nothing at all. Just offer a smile and a hug.

Remember, your challenge isn't to find that magic word that will take away someone's pain. Life doesn't work like that. Your role is to connect with them and let your consistent presence show you're with them throughout their time of suffering.

If you'd like to talk to our counselors and discuss these matters, I invite you to call 1-855-771-HELP (4357) or visit FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: When I started graduate school, I decided I wouldn't get romantically involved until my degree was finished. I'm almost done now, but I feel rusty and out of practice dating-wise. I'm not even sure at this point what sort of person to look for; past relationships didn't turn out so well, and I want to avoid similar problems in the future. Any advice?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: When it comes to dating, many young adults rely on their feelings instead of thinking things through. And that's why a lot of them end up filled with remorse and regret down the road.

To avoid that outcome in your dating life, remember that the most important quality of any relationship is character. A person may have a charming personality, good looks or intelligence. But if there's no character behind the veneer, you'll find it hard -- if not impossible -- to forge a lasting and meaningful bond.

The way to get to know someone's character is to spend a lot of time together. Before becoming romantically involved with an individual of the opposite sex, you should do the hard work of building an authentic friendship with that person based on points in common. Over time, you'll discover the truth about each other's values and attitudes. That's a crucial step in deciding whether or not you want to take your relationship beyond mere friendship.

Don't misunderstand: The point of an approach like this is not to find someone who's perfect (nobody is). It's to get a sense of who that person truly is. Because in the long run, without good character that person will definitely not be a good dating prospect -- no matter how smart, successful or good- looking he or she may be.

By the way, Focus on the Family has an outreach addressing single life from a faith-based perspective; see Boundless.org.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Q: When our extended family gathered a couple of months ago, I felt overshadowed and inadequate around other women. My sisters and female cousins all have satisfying careers, but I'm just a mom. Sometimes I feel like a complete failure.

Jim: Mothers often have a way of seeing their own shortcomings and minimizing the role they play in their kids' lives. I don't believe those perceptions are accurate, but I can certainly understand what drives them. On the surface, there's nothing glamorous about chasing kids around the house, fixing meal after meal and stepping on toys scattered down the hallway.

But I agree with author Lisa-Jo Baker, who says mothers are modern day superheroes. Their capes may be a little tattered at the end of a long day of laundry and runny noses. Still, moms deserve superhero status for all they do for their kids.

That's because there is nothing ordinary about motherhood. Moms aren't simply changing diapers; they're molding character. That's what inspired poet William Ross Wallace to pen the verse titled "The Hand That Rocks the Cradle Is the Hand That Rules the World." His point is that beginning at birth, a mom's influence has profound impact on what any person -- and especially the "great and powerful" -- will eventually become. Every famous world-changer has had (and will have) a mother.

Directing the course of a child's life is no easy task. That's why on any given day a lot of mothers may feel like they're doing a terrible job. But remember this: Motherhood isn't hard because you're so bad at it. It's hard because -- like no other role in life -- it requires sacrificing your own wants and desires on behalf of others.

So, please, give yourself some grace. Laying down your life for your children takes more than "just a mom." It takes a superhero.

Q: My wife left me last year, and our divorce was recently finalized. I have custody of our young daughter; she dreads going to see her mom now, but I know it's necessary. What can I do?

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting and Youth: After a marriage ends this way, one of the challenges that may arise is a child's visit to the other parent's home. Anger or other factors can create this fearful reaction from a child. But it's not always easy to sort out, especially with young kids. Children often don't understand the complexities involved in divorce. As a result, they may feel like they must choose one parent over the other.

You can do several things to help your daughter face her worries about visiting. First, listen and take her feelings seriously, even if you don't fully understand yet. Is she upset at her mom for leaving? Is there something else problematic about their relationship? Are there issues with your ex-spouse that create safety concerns? Your child's fears will lessen with reassurance that you've heard what she has to say, you have her best interests in mind, and you want her to feel secure.

If feasible, respectfully let your ex-wife know how your child is feeling and recommend they get some help to repair their relationship. And let your daughter know that you're always available for a phone call home if she wants it.

The unknown and the unfamiliar can be fearful for children. Work on your relationship by listening and making time for your daughter, while encouraging her to try to have a good relationship with her mom. Reassure her that you're doing what you need to cope with what's happened.

Our staff counselors are available to help in situations like this; call 1-855-771-4357 or visit FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.