The pleasant chit-chat my husband always made with our children’s teachers at conference drove me nuts.

We had anywhere from seven to 10 minutes to find out how well our children were learning, what they were expected to know in each subject and what we needed to do to help them master these skills. We couldn’t spare time on a funny anecdote about homework. That’s at least 45 seconds wasted.

“Just let me do the talking,” I would say outside the classroom, as we waited for the bell to ring, signaling our turn with the teacher. He would agree, and then inevitably ask some random question that would derail the conversation.

I mean, he is a very good conversationalist.

But parent-teacher conferences are one of the few shots parents have to ask face-to-face questions of the most important person in your child’s school experience. It’s not the time for chit-chat. The annual state test reports that many districts send over the summer can be vague and hard to decipher, so those conference minutes are precious.

It turns out that many of us aren’t asking the right questions during that time. Bibb Hubbard, founder and president of Learning Heroes, a nonprofit based in Alexandria, Virginia, works to inform and equip parents so they can help their children succeed in school.

A national poll of parents with children aged kindergarten to eighth grade commissioned by the organization found a startling discrepancy between how well parents think their child is doing in school versus how children are actually performing.

Nine out of 10 parents surveyed believe their child is performing at or above grade level in math and reading. In fact, 66 percent of parents say their child is doing “above average” academically. Statistically, that’s impossible. National data of test scores show that barely a third of fourth- and eighth-graders are performing at grade level.

“Parents do not have an accurate picture of their child’s progress,” Hubbard said. The reasons are complicated. The vast majority of parents (86 percent) said they relied on report cards to gauge how well their child is learning. But a report card may not show how well a child is mastering the skills deemed necessary by state requirements.

A parent attending a conference might understandably ask, “How is my child doing in school?” That’s a typical question. They may hear a response of how well the child behaves or gets along with classmates, but not get information on specific areas in which the child needs extra help.

Hubbard says the way schools communicate with parents is mostly through indecipherable jargon, which most parents don’t understand. For example, standardized test reports often use the word “proficient” to describe a student’s progress. But that word can mean five different things to five different people, she said.

A key question for parents to ask their child’s teacher is: “Is my child performing at grade level in math and reading?” Parents should try to bring copies of last year’s state assessment to find out what the results really mean for their child’s learning in the year ahead.

This can lead to a tough conversation. Some parents may not want to hear their child isn’t progressing as well as they ought to be, and teachers may be reluctant to bridge the gap between perception and reality. But teachers have to be able to say, “Your child is not mastering concepts as quickly as we would like, and we are going to take these measures to help.”

Hubbard said their research found that, compared to last year’s poll, this year’s parents reported greater anxiety about raising their children. But they weren’t as concerned about their kids’ academic progress -- most assume their child is doing fine in that department. Rather, they were most worried about bullying, peer pressure, their child’s social and emotional health and even paying for college.

The rise in anxiety for Hispanic families was especially pronounced from the previous year. The survey did not ask why, although next year’s poll may explore that question in more detail, Hubbard said.

“We’re in a very different environment -- culturally, politically, socially -- than we were last year,” she said.

For the past couple of years, I’ve attended the parent-teacher conferences by myself, taken copious notes and debriefed my husband on the highlights at home.

It’s an efficient system, but Hubbard pointed out that it’s always possible to ask for a follow-up meeting or conversation if you run out of time at the conference. It can be helpful for a teacher to hear a little about how your child learns best and what they love to do.

That sounds like useful small talk.

Pregnant women are advised to be cautious of many things: sushi, Brie, hot tubs and kitty litter, to name a few. But when I was expecting my first child, I was surprised to receive a concerned phone call warning me about the dangers of an eclipse.

Don’t use a pair of scissors or a knife during an eclipse, my mother said, or the baby could be born with facial birth defects.

Unlike the risks posed by uncooked fish or soft cheese, there is no scientific or medical basis for this sort of alarm. But there are persistent superstitions and myths surrounding celestial events, especially ones as dramatic as the solar eclipse that will cut across the entire continental United States on Aug. 21. Those of us in the center of the moon’s shadow, known as the totality, will see the sky darken for a few minutes in the middle of the day.

In many cultures, including my parents’ South Asian background, pregnant women are told to stay indoors during an eclipse to prevent birth defects. The parenting advice website BabyCenter.com, in a section on traditional Hispanic beliefs and myths about pregnancy, also notes that expectant mothers are told to carry something metallic, such as a safety pin, during an eclipse to protect against cleft palate.

The site suggests the superstition traces back to an Aztec belief that an eclipse is a bite on the face of the moon.

David Baron, author of “American Eclipse,” says that there was a time in the 1970s that the Indonesian government advised pregnant women to stay indoors during a solar eclipse. (That’s no longer the case.)

“There’s nothing to fear but epic traffic,” he said, referring to the cars expected to crowd highways to get a good view when the solar eclipse passes over an area.

The editorial team of BabyCenter India posted a list of common traditional restrictions and beliefs on the topic. During an eclipse, the list said, a pregnant woman should:

-- avoid using any sharp object such as a knife, scissors or a needle.

-- avoid eating anything.

-- rest as much as possible.

-- cover the windows with newspaper or thick curtains so that no rays of the eclipse enter the home.

-- throw away all food that was cooked before the eclipse and take a bath after it ends.

The article points out that there is no scientific evidence to suggest an eclipse is harmful to a pregnant woman or her baby, but that none of the recommendations would be harmful to follow if the woman chooses -- except for fasting, potentially. Fasting during an eclipse is a common practice in parts of India, and could lead to dehydration if it lasts too long.

Dr. Shafia Bhutto, an obstetrician-gynecologist at Mercy Hospital in St. Louis, says expectant women in Pakistan might be told to lie straight in bed during an eclipse to prevent crooked joints in a baby.

“There’s nothing real about that,” she said. Her only medical advice applies to everyone: Don’t look at the sun directly because it can damage your retina. Everyone must wear special protective glasses when looking at an eclipse to prevent eye damage.

“There is nothing that will happen to your unborn baby during an eclipse, because they are in your uterus,” she said.

But superstitions are hard to shake. Bhutto remembers a woman from many years ago who was distraught throughout her pregnancy because she’d accidentally looked at a lunar eclipse. She worried about it constantly. Ultimately, the woman’s baby was born with a cleft palate that had never been picked up in the ultrasounds.

“Even though it was completely unrelated, the patient totally blamed herself,” she said.

Franz Davis could tell he had been out of the dating pool for years when he ventured back in after getting divorced.

“I honestly felt like I was on a different planet,” he said. “I hadn’t been on the dating scene since college.”

Davis, a divorce attorney in Minneapolis, had been married for eight years. He was a decade removed from the singles scene.

“People knew how to quickly meet then just hook up,” he said. Davis tried to work the bar and restaurant scene and found himself getting frustrated with the superficiality of it.

He ended up stepping away to work on himself. Instead of going out, he went to counseling and read books to figure out why his marriage had failed and how to avoid falling back into the same relationship patterns.

“Believe it or not, I really worked on it,” he said. He finally got to a point where he was happy being single, excited to go on solo bike rides and meet with friends at a restaurant. Of course, this was exactly when he met his future wife -- ironically enough, a matchmaker.

April Davis, president of LUMA Luxury Matchmaking, says the majority of her clients are divorced. They come to her with a mixed bag of experiences. Some refuse to try online dating, while others have been on a hundred app-instigated dates. Some have been hurt so badly that they cannot let a new person get too close emotionally. Others are so afraid of being alone, they are willing to settle for the next person who comes along.

Her advice starts from the same place: Figure out who you are as a single person. Find out which character traits and values are most important to you in a partner, and work on developing those same qualities in yourself.

“Like attracts like,” she said. Typically, a person’s confidence has taken a hit after a divorce, and he or she is unsure of how to navigate the modern dating scene, she said.

April says her general rule of thumb for the newly divorced is to take a month being single for every year of marriage before jumping into another relationship. Use that time as a chance to grow and learn, she said.

That’s the path Rachael Carter, 44, has embraced. Carter, an outgoing photographer in Lake St. Louis, also models and acts occasionally. What she doesn’t do much is date. She’s been divorced nearly two years after 12 years of marriage. She’s been on two dates.

“My focus is on making sure I’m raising a healthy, well-adjusted child,” she said. She doesn’t want the aftermath of the divorce to disrupt her teenage daughter’s life. Plus, she’s much more aware now of what she wants in a partner. She has no desire to use a dating app or site.

“After going through what I’ve been through, I think I’m looking for a deeper connection,” Carter said. Since her divorce, she also became very introspective. “I had to think about things I was passionate about that would bring joy back into my life.”

And now she’s OK being alone and focusing on building her career.

“I’m OK with me, and I’m OK being alone,” she said. “When you look for love, sometimes you look for the wrong things.”

Carly Spindel, who works as a matchmaker along with her mother at their company, Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking in New York City, says custody situations can make dating even more difficult post-divorce.

“It gets more and more complicated,” she said, when each person has a strict custody schedule.

For Franz Davis, he was more cautious the second time around. But when he noticed his feelings progressing for April, he was direct.

“Are we developing something?” he asked her.

“No, I just want to be friends,” she said.

“I have enough friends,” he responded.

They ended up dating for four years and tied the knot in 2013.