DEAR ABBY: Twelve years ago, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. It was a difficult pregnancy and delivery due to a medical condition my daughter was diagnosed with in the womb. The doctors let my husband and me know there could be problems during the delivery. We needed to make a decision. If things went wrong, we had to choose between my life and our daughter's life. I told my husband to pick her.

I can't stop thinking about how quickly my husband agreed to that decision! At the time, I was OK with his immediate reaction and loved him more for caring about our child. My kid is the light of my life, and jealousy plays no role in my emotions. I would want him to choose her again, but I don't understand why his swift agreement haunts me still. It makes me question our relationship and how much I really matter to him. -- HAUNTED IN TEXAS

DEAR HAUNTED: You may be viewing what happened from the wrong perspective. From where I sit, you told your husband what you wanted his choice to be, and because he loves you, he immediately agreed. I'm willing to bet that you are his world. I know few men who would wish to parent a child alone. You made the choice for your husband, and you are wrong to be second-guessing him after the fact.

DEAR ABBY: My wife doesn't think it's rude to talk -- or "whisper," as she calls it -- during movies. I don't want to see movies with her because of this. She says I don't understand because I am not a woman. I tell her being a woman has nothing to do with it. Talking during movies is just plain rude. We can go for dessert after a movie and discuss it. I'm not sure if you have any words of wisdom for her because she's too busy talking to listen to me. -- SILENT IN OHIO

DEAR SILENT: You and I are not the only ones who feel that when people talk and whisper in a theater, it's rude. Often when I go to films, a short message is posted on the screen before it begins requesting that the audience turn off their electronic devices and refrain from talking while it's running.

Because your wife refuses to keep quiet, have her see movies with a female friend who doesn't mind the distraction -- if she can find one. And as for you, if there's a movie you want to see, either go alone or with a buddy.

P.S. Please warn your wife that she is asking to be yelled at, cursed at or worse if she persists.

DEAR ABBY: I have been divorced for seven years from my 28-year-old daughter's father. She doesn't understand why I date and keeps asking me why I can't just stay single. She said if I do find a boyfriend, she'll refuse to meet him. She insists that if a man is in my life, he does not have to be in hers. This makes holidays and special events hard. What should I say to her? -- GETTING OPPOSITION IN AUSTIN, TEXAS

DEAR GETTING: You and your daughter are both adults. Tell her that you want to date and have companionship for the same reasons she does. Then point out that she does not have the right to dictate how you should live the rest of your life, and if she chooses not to meet someone who brings her mother happiness, it will be her loss and not yours.

DEAR ABBY: I have rekindled a romance from my youth. "Jerry" and I were engaged to be married 47 years ago, but I felt he was too worldly and fast for me, so I broke off the engagement. I later married and had a happy marriage for 36 years until my husband died.

Jerry found me on Facebook and started writing. Abby, he has been married and divorced five times. We eventually got together and have been seeing each other for almost two years now.

He wants us to get married, but I am again hesitant because our lifestyles are so vastly different. I enjoy spending time with him, but I'm also glad when he leaves. Many times I wish I had never answered his first letter. On the other hand, I have had some great times with him. We are so different in many ways -- I'm not sure I can put up with some of the things he says and does.

What's wrong with me? Why can't I make up my mind what to do? I have broken up with him twice, but he manages to work his way back into my life. Please tell me what I should do or how to know what is right for me. -- REKINDLED ROMANCE

DEAR REKINDLED: Listen closely to your intuition. If you are enjoying the relationship as it is, you should keep it that way. Because you are happy when Jerry leaves and have doubts about being able to tolerate things he says and does, it would be a mistake to wed a man who has struck out at marriage five times.

DEAR ABBY: After many years of fiscal responsibility, hard work and sacrifice, we are set to pay off the mortgage on our house this year. I want to throw an old-fashioned open house/home mortgage-burning party and burn the mortgage in the smoker after the turkey is done. My wife and I never had a reception after our wedding so long ago. I think we are due a party to celebrate this milestone.

My wife is against it. She says too many of our friends and family have financial troubles and a mortgage-burning party would rub their noses in it. She has "loaned" her brother $50,000 over the years, and more to her friends. Most of them have yet to repay.

I think a mortgage-burning party would be an example for them to strive for and achieve, and we deserve to celebrate. Your answer will determine if we have the party. If you vote "yes," you are invited. -- BIG ACHIEVEMENT

DEAR BIG: Mortgage-burning parties went out of fashion decades ago for many reasons. Among them, the fact that many homeowners no longer live in the same place long enough to pay their mortgages in full. Today many people choose to refinance their loan rather than pay it off.

As much as I'd like to attend your party, I have to vote with your wife. To invite guests whom you know are having money troubles to such an event would be insensitive. If you are in a celebratory mood, by all means throw a party, but be discreet and refrain from flaunting your success in the faces of your guests.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter is 17. When she was 1, she had leukemia. The treatments have left her with chronic pain as well as some disabilities that she deals with.

She's now a senior in high school, but looks like she's 7 or 8. She yearns for what every teen girl wants -- a boyfriend. The problem is, no one wants to date her. It's not because of her personality but because of her size and her young looks.

My heart breaks seeing how depressed she is. I have told her she will meet that special person when she is supposed to, and she used to think that as well, but she doesn't anymore. What can I do to help my daughter through this? -- HEARTBROKEN

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: Patience and the passage of time may bring a solution to the problem. In the meantime, if there is a name for her condition, go online and do some research to find out if there is a support group for survivors who also have it. If there is, your daughter may find what she needs there. Surely, others have had her experience, and perhaps they can help. One thing I know for sure -- you can't find a date until you find a friend.

DEAR ABBY: Because I was sexually abused as a child, I have difficulty trusting men. My oldest sons have different fathers. While they were toddlers, I met the father of my youngest two sons. In the beginning, I wasn't in love with him, although over the years, I have grown to love him.

While I am now in love with him, because of the emotional, mental and physical abuse I put him through, he doesn't feel the same. He's a great father to all of my boys. My question is, how can I express that I'm in love with him and want a relationship with him now? -- A SECOND CHANCE

DEAR SECOND CHANCE: If you haven't already, offer the poor man a sincere apology for the way you have treated him. Then, if he is unaware of it, explain your history and offer to get counseling if he will give you the second chance you are asking for. It's worth a try. That he would continue to be a "great father" to all of your sons tells me what a prize you may have lost.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married 41 years. We live outside of Chicago, where the winters can be bad. My son and his family moved to Florida to get away from the weather here. Now my wife wants to move there, too. I have medical issues and don't like hot, humid weather. She says she's going, and I told her I'm staying here. Should I go with her or should she stay here with me? -- "WEATHER" TO OR NOT

DEAR "WEATHER": This should not be a question of either/or. Surely there is room for compromise. If your medical condition is such that you cannot tolerate the Florida climate, then you must stay where you are. If your wife's reason for wanting to move south is to be closer to the grandchildren, perhaps she could arrange to visit them for three or four weeks at a time throughout the year.

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