DEAR ABBY: My husband likes to wear my underwear, and it grosses me out. He knows I don't approve and promises he won't do it again, but he does. I can't even stand to look at him. What should I do? -- DISTURBED IN TEXAS

DEAR DISTURBED: The first thing to do would be to understand that not every woman who is married to a cross-dresser feels as strongly as you do about it. Do some research about cross-dressing -- its causes and why some men feel the compulsion to do it. If after that you are still grossed out and unable to understand why your husband needs to do this, it may be time to schedule some marriage counseling to see if your marriage can be saved.

DEAR ABBY: My mother moved in with my sister in California around 1993. After 20 years, I asked her what she wanted to do with her storage unit, which was still in Arizona. Long story short, she said: "Clear it out. I don't even know what's in there. Take whatever you want, keep the pictures and give the rest to Goodwill." My sisters have the same recollection. Over the next three or four years, my sisters and I proceeded to do so.

Mom has moved in with me now, at 80 years old, and says she may be moving out into her own place in the future. The items I use in my household are starting to disappear. She says she's reclaiming them. I told her they are things I use and that she gave them to us years ago. Who is correct? Should I keep the items as mine? Or should my mother be able to take them back after specifically giving them up, since they have been integrated into our households? -- CLEARED OUT IN THE WEST

DEAR CLEARED OUT: Your mother may be having some memory glitches, or may regret giving up her independence and the items that symbolize it. Do not be defensive. Tell her that when she has a place of her own "in the future," you will gladly return any items she needs. Do not let this degenerate into an argument. She has been living with your sister -- and now you -- over the last 26 years for a reason. Some seniors move in with their children because they are medically or financially unable to manage on their own.

DEAR ABBY: It won't be long before Easter is here. Please remind your readers to never give live animals as holiday gifts. There are adorable plush toy animals available that can be held tightly and snuggled safely -- for all concerned. -- A MOM IN EVANSTON, ILL.

DEAR MOM: Thanks for the timely reminder to parents and grandparents. Children should not be gifted with pets until they are old enough -- and responsible enough -- to care for them. Adorable chicks and baby bunnies have been squeezed or neglected to death because the children had no concept of how they should be treated. And even when the children ARE old enough, the parents should first agree that the little creature is welcome.

DEAR ABBY: I am extremely upset. My son got married a year ago. We were very happy and have welcomed his wife into our family. He met us for lunch yesterday and announced that he and his wife have a polyamorous relationship. They will stay married, but both of them will date and have long-term relationships with other people.

My husband and I are in shock. We have been married for more than 30 years and have always been faithful to each other. We thought we had set a good example. They are asking to be able to bring other boyfriends and girlfriends to our family events. I'm heartsick at the thought of watching them be affectionate with other partners. My granddaughter was a flower girl at their wedding. How do we explain this to her?

I love my son, but does a relationship with him mean I have to abandon the values I have always felt were important to uphold? Right now he isn't speaking to me because he thinks I was not supportive enough when he told me. I feel like I'm being forced to accept this new lifestyle or not see my son. How should I handle this? -- DUMBFOUNDED IN DALLAS

DEAR DUMBFOUNDED: Unless you are raising your granddaughter, you don't have to explain anything. That will be her parents' responsibility if they decide to expose her to your son and daughter-in-law's lifestyle.

As to your being forced to entertain his and his wife's lovers, if it makes you uncomfortable -- which appears to be the case -- you are under no obligation to do so. Handle this by standing your ground and refusing to be emotionally blackmailed.

Your son is an adult and entitled to live his life any way he wishes. However, this does not mean that you must endorse it. Tell him you would love to see just him and his wife when they are spending time together.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my husband, "Ken," for 34 years. At home, he doesn't pay much attention to me. Although he's generally helpful around the house, he puts his needs first. Because we run a small business together, we are together most of the time.

When we go over to friends' for dinner or to a party, Ken complains that I don't talk with him enough or notice if he's alone and not engaged in conversation. He feels I should be more aware of him and stay by his side. I am more outgoing than he is. I make conversation easily and find people to be involved with.

Is he right? Should his needs be more on my radar? Shouldn't I have the freedom to enjoy those around me, assuming that Ken can take care of himself? I know he's less at ease in social situations, but I need interaction with others. -- WONDERING WHAT'S RIGHT IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR WONDERING: Knowing Ken isn't as socially adept as you, the kind thing would be to keep an eye on him at these dinners/parties to make sure he isn't isolated. If he is standing by himself, ask him to join in the conversations you are having. Not every couple is equally outgoing, and it may be a bit of a balancing act, but supportive spouses make an effort to compensate for the other's deficits if asked to, as your husband has.

DEAR ABBY: I have been seeing a woman for a year, and everything seemed pretty sweet. She told me when we met that trust is important to her as she has had issues in past relationships, including with her ex-husband, who was seeing an ex without disclosing it to her.

This week I saw a series of texts pop up on her phone from someone I have never heard her mention. When I asked about it, she said they were from an "old friend." I found it troubling and asked her more about it. She then mentioned she had been in a romantic relationship with him many years ago. She also disclosed that the text exchange was started because she told him (via text) that she had dreamed about him the night before.

She assured me her dream was not romantic or of a sexual nature, and her intent in reaching out wasn't romantic. Despite this, my suspicion meter has gone through the roof, and I'm having a hard time trusting her story. I find this especially baffling given her history. Am I overreacting? -- LESS TRUSTFUL NOW

DEAR LESS TRUSTFUL: If everything has been going well in your relationship with this woman for a year, why are you looking at text messages that pop up on her phone? Although not all people would text an ex about his/her appearance in a dream, she can text whomever she wishes, and she shouldn't have to account to you for it.

The two of you need to have a serious conversation about the parameters of your relationship. The problem may be your insecurity, and if you are going to have a successful outcome with anyone, you had better learn to control it.

DEAR ABBY: My stepfather, "Ron," and my mother finalized their divorce a month ago. He has been part of my life for 19 years, since I was 10. He was a grandfather to my two boys, and because he adopted me when I was 17, I took his last name.

My problem is that two years ago, when Ron left Mom, he cut off all contact with me and my boys. No calls, texts, messages. Nothing! I am still coming to terms with all of it, and it's hard to explain to my 7-year-old where his grandfather is.

Ron was a father to me after my biological father passed away. It's painful to think that he may not have loved me or my boys like I thought he did.

How can a father/grandfather do that so easily? What's worse is his children (my step-siblings) have also cut us off. I have no idea why.

My husband thinks I should contact him, but I don't think I should have to beg someone to be in my life, especially if it's a parent/child situation. What are your thoughts? Any guidance would be appreciated. -- LEFT IN THE DARK IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR LEFT: Ron may think that because he and your mother are no longer married, your loyalties lie with her and you don't want him in your life. I agree with your husband. Reach out to him and your step-siblings. Tell them you and your children love them and still want them to be part of your lives. They may need the reassurance. And if they still prefer to have no contact, you will know you did everything possible to keep the relationships intact.