DEAR NATALIE: My daughter and I have always had a good relationship until recently. She is 15 now, and I feel as if we can't relate, I can't say anything without setting her off, and she just doesn't want me around (unless she needs something, of course). Her mother and I divorced when she was small, and I worry that her mother brainwashes her into thinking I am some awful father. I have always been there for her, always given her everything she has needed, but I just want to have a better relationship together where we don't end up screaming at each other. Not my idea of a fun weekend. Any suggestions on how to navigate the world of a teenage girl? -- Sad Dad

DEAR SAD DAD: Wait it out. During these teenage years, sometimes no matter what you say, it is going to be the wrong thing. While you may feel frustrated about her relationship with her mother and what she may be saying when you aren't around, you can't control it. In fact, when you are together, just show her who you are as a person. Encourage her to open up to you by keeping the door to communication open, but try not to pry too much into her life. Sometimes people say things that they don't mean, but it hurts nonetheless. 

The next time she starts going at you, take a deep breath and tell her that you love her, but you are taking a timeout. This isn't how you speak to each other, and until she can calmly tell you what she needs, you won't engage her in conversation. On the topic of money, it may be better to start an allowance system where she helps you with chores or earns points for "good behavior." There are lots of behavioral charts online that can help you get started. This way she isn't just expecting money, she is earning it, which can teach her some responsibility along the way. And fear not! Your relationship will improve as she gets older, but for now just remind yourself that this is a temporary place, and you will make it through. 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: I am dating "good on paper guy." He's sweet, romantic, has a good career future and respects me. The only catch -- I'm just not enamored with him. I'm not crazy over the moon about him. My friends tell me that I'm a hopeless romantic and that he is a good fit for me. I don't deny it. But is it wrong to want more? -- Pushing30

DEAR PUSHING30: Let's be real. Relationships, even when they are good, are really hard. They are hard because we are in a society that is obsessed with the BBD (Bigger Better Deal) in all aspects of life, including our romantic partners. I'm all for people cultivating the relationship in front of them instead of looking to their next conquest, but in this case? You aren't doing yourself or him any favors by stringing him along if you don't feel it in your bones that he is a good fit for you. Chemistry matters. Without that dizzy love feeling, you are friends and nothing more. I'm not saying romance doesn't ebb and flow over time, but if it isn't there to begin with you are only setting yourselves up for heartache and failure. Gently cut him loose and move on. Thirty is too old to play around with someone's heart. So, give him the opportunity to find the love of his life while you continue the search for someone you could flip over the moon for. 

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Be a conversationalist. Networking is about building rapport, not dominating a conversation. Talk about your interests and likes, but always end your thoughts with a question to toss the conversation back to them. This keeps you engaged in a dialogue and not just interested in hearing yourself talk. 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: I have a sister who only associates with me when she needs something. For instance, when she and her husband go on vacation they ask me to feed the dog, water plants, pick up the mail. But the rest of the year I am pushed off to the side and ignored. When I ask to do things or mention getting together for a holiday, I always get brushed off. When I ask, they procrastinate about giving me an answer then ignore me and blow me off. My sister is not the type to discuss things. I would like to make up an excuse next time she asks me and say no, but this would be lying. What do you think? -- SAD SISTER

DEAR SAD SISTER: It appears to me that you have a classic case of doormatitis. You are suffering from a common and debilitating disease, but I promise there is a cure! It’s called put your foot down and you do that daily, every day, for the rest of your life. No more helping them or being at their beck and call. They sound like selfish, insufferable people who are interested only in what others can do for them. Time to take a step back. It sounds as though you don’t get much out of this relationship, anyway, and while it is true that you can’t pick your family, you also don’t have to indulge their petty, narcissistic behavior. So, the next time she asks for your help, tell her you’re busy. Don’t reach out about holidays unless she reaches out to you in the spirit of friendship. Work on cultivating relationships with people who reciprocate positive things and want to spend time with you. Take a daily dose of self care and see how that changes your perspective. It may not cure her bad behavior, but it will do wonders for you!

DEAR NATALIE: My daughter-in-law hates me. I married a man with grown children. For the most part his other kids are accepting of their new situation, but this one is actively hostile. I’ve been called horrible names, shunned, left out of any social interaction and really never been given a chance. She’s rude to her father, as well, calls him names and totally refuses to visit our home. There is a grandchild, further adding to the anxiety. Is there any advice you can give me ? I know that it’s very hard to win over the stepkids, but I feel even worse for my husband who doesn’t deserve any of this. -- UGLY STEPDAUGHTER

DEAR UGLY STEPDAUGHTER: People who are openly hostile and call others names aren’t people I would want in my life, family or not. It may be that she has some underlying mental health condition that she isn’t treating, or maybe she is just like this to you and him because of a reason she is withholding. Whatever the case, don’t allow this toxic energy around you or your husband. These children are grown, so they can choose if they are a part of your life, or not, and that may be something that you and your husband have to accept. She may just not want to be a part of your life. Now, the unfortunate part is that there is a grandchild involved, but other than sending gifts at holidays and birthdays and showing up for major milestones, dance recitals, soccer games and all the good stuff in between, there isn’t much else you can do. As her child gets older, he or she may want to form his or her own independent relationship with you. Unfortunately, you won’t have much control over that except to always keep an open door and open heart. As far as the ugly stepdaughter is concerned, stop giving this energy. Take a step back and let the chips fall where they may. It’s hard when someone dislikes you for no apparent reason, but over time things may calm down and you may be able to work toward a cordial relationship. Until then, keep your opinions about her to yourself, do not confide in his other children about this and work toward having a good relationship with them. They may open the door for her to walk through at some point, anyway.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Feeling frustrated that you aren’t making meaningful connections? Think quality over quantity. Try taking contacts out for coffee to get to know them better and make follow-up plans with ones you connect with before you leave. That way, it’s in the books, and you have no reason not to follow through!

Please send your questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)