DEAR NATALIE: I am at my wits end. I am depressed and angry. I get no respect from my husband. He says all men are "superior creatures." He bad mouths women all the time. He has a disability and seems to want me to be constantly available to serve his needs. 

My friend says he is a "narcissist" and that this is common among men, especially accomplished men, which he was before he became disabled. Some people say I should ignore him or put up with what he does. He has said that he had a neglectful mother as a child and a father who was preoccupied with his business. I understand that because I also had a similar situation. I can't make up for the love that was missing early in his life. I know he needs love but so do I. Please help me if you can. -- UNHAPPY WIFE

DEAR UNHAPPY WIFE: There is just so much to unpack in this letter. First, it is very disturbing to hear that your husband subjugates you and half of the human population. Degrading and demoralizing you is abuse. You are in an abusive relationship. I say this plainly because sometimes you need to see the words for it to click. When someone is demeaning to you, relentless in their nasty commentary, and makes you feel like a servant in your own home, recognize that this is not healthy behavior. This attitude toward women and yourself is only hurting your sense of self-worth. 

Second, it seems as though his disability has made him feel inferior to others around him (including yourself), and so he is lashing out at you because he doesn't feel as in control as he once did. 

Third, whether or not he had a neglectful mother and a distant father is not an excuse to treat you badly. He is allowing his negative past to dictate what could be a bright future. 

Short of packing your bags and leaving him, here is how you can help yourself should you stay: 

Find a hobby outside of the house. Whether it's long walks with a girlfriend, volunteering at an animal rescue shelter, taking up a class, or trying yoga, there are ways for you to practice self-care and get you away from the negativity in the household. When you are at home, stop answering his every beck and call (especially if he calls for you using any kind of derogatory language). 

Let him know that while you are there to help him, you are not his slave and you will not be treated unkindly. This may be met with even more hateful speech toward you, so be prepared, but unless you stand up to this bully in some capacity, it won't stop. Obviously, if he has been physically violent toward you, don't incite him. If that is the case, consider moving in with a friend or family member for a short time. If that is not possible, visit with a therapist and talk through these issues. 

At the end of the day, it is not up to you to make anyone happy. You must work toward your own sense of inner peace. Good luck to you.

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: I have started dating someone new and I really like him. We have a lot in common and I really feel like he could be “the one.” There is just one catch. He owns a ton of guns. I am completely anti-gun and want nothing to do with them. I respect the fact that he grew up hunting with his family, and after he came out to them, I know this was the only thing that he and his dad still had in common. Okay, a couple of rifles I could maybe deal with. But, this is a lot more than that. He says he just likes collecting them and doesn’t see anything wrong with it. I find it disturbing to say the least. I really want to continue seeing him but I cannot bring myself to talk to him about my concerns. I am worried he will dump me. What should I do? --GUN SHY

DEAR GUN SHY: Without getting into a big debate about guns, let’s peek behind the curtain, instead. It sounds as though his sense of masculinity and how he identifies himself is wrapped up in owning these guns. His connection to his father is clearly important to him. After coming out, maybe he felt as though his father would think less of him as a “man”, so he overcompensated. I’m not saying that his father did feel that way, but it seems as though he might have been scared of that prospect. Our limited collective views on masculinity are tied to an individual’s own perception of how they views themselves. And when you think about it, our first images of what “a man should be” are often tied to our own fathers or father-figures in our communities, so seeing his dad hunting and being a part of that world would be integral to his own sense of masculinity.  I am really dissecting your letter, but there are a lot of reasons that people own guns, and some of those reasons he may not even be conscious about. So my question for you is: Why do you dislike guns so much? Start to think about that and how your judgment is perhaps clouding your ability to connect with him on this. You absolutely have to tell him your feelings about guns, and how he reacts to that will ultimately tell you whether you can move forward. If he seems understanding and open to your perspective, there’s a good chance you will be able to come to a place of peace on this subject. If, however, he becomes agitated or dismissive, you may want to reconsider jumping into a relationship. Respect is key, and if he can’t at least respect your views, and vice versa, the way forward may be quite a challenge for you both.

DEAR NATALIE: My boyfriend just received an incredible offer to work in London. It would be a big profile job and the pay would be amazing. But, in order to do that, I have to give up my life here in the city and my good job, too. My boyfriend keeps telling me to take the leap with him and move to London together, but he has been resistant to proposing. I told him I won’t move unless he makes a real commitment to me. He says it’s not the right time, but when is it? We’ve been together three years. I don’t want to waste my time. What should I do? --WHAT’S NEXT

DEAR WHAT’S NEXT: Call his bluff. If he really wants you to uproot your whole life for him, and you are willing to do it if he makes a bigger commitment to you, stand by your word. I am not one for ultimatums, but sometimes I think that they are necessary. It is okay if he doesn’t want to propose, but it is also okay if you can’t move forward without one. Be clear about that. Say to him that you love him and you are proud of him, but he needs to know where you stand. If he says he won’t propose or feel pressured to do so, then walk away. You shouldn’t have to chase someone to be with you. Call me old-fashioned, but I truly believe when you love someone, you will move mountains to be with them. If you aren’t a priority now, then when?

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Not finding the right networking groups? Start your own. Social media makes it easier than ever to connect with like-minded individuals. Start a Facebook group and then encourage a meet-up around the various topics of interest.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to her email, nbencivenga@post-gazette.com; or through postal mail to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Dr., Pittsburgh, PA 15212. Follow her on Twitter at @NBSeen and on Instagram @NatalieBenci

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: Recently I started dating a man from India. I am not Indian. I am white, and we really have hit it off. He is wonderful, generous and kind, but we've only gone out a few times, and he is moving really fast. He is showering me with gifts and promises that are starting to make me uncomfortable.

How do I tell him that he is being too aggressive and that he needs to slow down? Is this a cultural thing that I am not getting? I don't want to come off as distant or ungrateful, but the amount of attention he shows me (texting me all through the day, flowers during the work week, surprises, etc.) are starting to raise eyebrows from colleagues and family.

Is he coming on too strong or am I just cold? -- AMERICAN GIRL

DEAR AMERICAN GIRL: While I don't think it is wise to make sweeping generalizations about one culture based on isolated experiences, there could be a cultural component as to why you are feeling out of sorts. But most likely it is your preconceived impressions of his culture that are clouding your judgment and experience here.

I have dated men of different backgrounds, and some were affectionate, others not so much. Some smother, some you can't even get to text you back, and if you are lucky, you end up finding that one gem that you just vibe with. It has little to do with culture and mostly to do with individuals and their personal journeys. Let go of your fears of saying or doing or reacting in the "appropriate" way, and focus instead on how it makes you feel when he showers you with attention and gifts.

If you are truly uncomfortable, just tell him. Say gently, "I am so flattered by the thoughtful gifts and gestures. I am just feeling a little overwhelmed by all of it and was hoping we could take a step back and get to know each other a bit better before making promises or giving each other gifts." He may not have realized it was upsetting you, or maybe he thought that you are supposed to behave like that when starting a new relationship.

As far as it raising eyebrows of colleagues and family, dare I say that they may be a little jealous? Wouldn't it be nice to get flowers and gifts? People like to be cynical and even cruel to satisfy their own feelings of insecurity and disappointment in life, so don't let them dictate to you how and what you should feel. Remember, you are in these relationships, not them.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Don't be afraid to speak up if you are interested in getting to know someone or would like a contact of yours to refer you to someone that you've been wanting to connect with. The whole point of networking is building relationships and finding the ones that create reciprocity that helps both parties reach their goals.

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)