DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: After I graduated college a few years ago, I was offered an internship that lead to a career path in a company here in Oregon. All my family is back in Ohio. For the past three years my wife and I have tried to make the trip to visit my family at least twice a year. That changed last year when we were expecting our first baby and we could not make it home for the holidays.

My parents have yet to meet their grandchild because my mother is terrified of flying, and because of their work schedules, a long car trip is out of the question. I guess I am having a hard time understanding why my mother cannot get over her fear and make the effort to come visit us. She could take something to relax her, but she refuses to take anything that will impair her. What can I do to get her on a plane to see our baby? --- WAITING IN SEATTLE

DEAR WAITING: Since your mother won’t take any pills, perhaps you could suggest she pay a few visits to a qualified therapist or fear of flying program. Her primary care doctor would be a good place to start to see if he or she can either recommend any such providers, or perhaps even help your mom directly by giving her some non-meds-based anxiety-coping techniques.

If that doesn’t work, do some legwork of your own to see what’s available in her area ─ vetting the possibilities the best you can.

If you present her with a couple of concrete options, your mother might be more inclined to follow-through, especially if you make it clear to her how much you and your wife want her to meet her grandbaby.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: One of my closest friends passed away nearly two years ago. She was, without a doubt, one of the most incredible women I have been blessed to know. I heard from another friend that my deceased friend’s husband has begun dating again and I am having trouble with the whole thing, even though I understand he is young and has small children to think about. Am I being unreasonable in feeling a kind of resentment about his moving on? --- REMEMBERING A FRIEND

DEAR REMEMBERING: I think you’re feeling an admirable loyalty towards the memory of your lost friend. However, I also think you need to work on eliminating your resentment. It’s hard to see someone you cared for in danger of being replaced. But you also have to consider the natural need and absolute right of a young widower and his young family to move on.

It may not be all that easy for him to start again with someone new, but if it’s what he’s ready to do, he could probably use some support from his friends, especially those who were close to his former wife.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I bought a fixer-upper the beginning of this year. It really has needed a lot of work and as I save up the money, I hire people to do the work I can’t.

My dad has always been pretty handy and helps out where he can and has saved me some money, but there are areas, like electrical and plumbing problems that he can’t tackle. I do appreciate his help, but now that he’s semi-retired, he decided he can serve as my general contractor and manage the pros when they come to do their work. In the past couple months, his interference has chased off some of people I hired, and I have had to start all over again, at my added expense.

How do I get Dad to take a step back, without hurting his feelings, so I can get the work done that needs to get done, especially with the winter coming? I don’t want to start sneaking behind his back, but I am considering it. --- DON’T WANT TO HURT DAD’S FEELINGS

DEAR DON’T WANT TO HURT DAD’S FEELINGS: I’ve heard tales before about what happens when homeowners decide to be their own general contractors. In your case, your dad assigned himself that role, and since he is capable in many areas, he may be slow to recognize his own limits.

To stop letting him know when some of the work is scheduled might prove more hurtful than being gently honest with him. You should explain to him that you truly appreciate all he’s done for you, and that you anticipate there will be plenty more projects for him as your home continues to be renovated ─ but that when it comes to projects beyond his scope of experience and ability, for which you’re laying out your own money, you really need him to bow out and let the professionals do their thing.