DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I met a girl who works in a store near my army post. She is smart and hard-working. We are far from serious right now, but my mom is sure this girl is only out to snag a soldier so she can live the good life. Every time we talk we end up fighting when she starts with her, “So, how’s the little dependa?”

I hate that she tries to make me feel bad about the girl I like, especially since she is anything but a dependa in the making. She plans to go on to earn a bachelor’s in the fall to be a teacher, after she finishes her AA degree this spring. Does that sound like someone who just wants to take advantage of a uniform to you? --- SHE’S NO DEPENDA

DEAR SHE’S NO DEPENDA: Although she’s probably not going about it the right way, your mom may truly be concerned about your being a target for someone looking for military spouse status. It does happen, and it’s wise for you to be on your guard.

That said, this girl sounds like she has ambitions beyond relying on someone else to provide for her, and that’s good news for everyone. Stress this to your mom the next time she pushes your buttons about the girl.

If that doesn’t shut the criticism down, either divert the conversation to other topics, or cut back on your calls until the dust settles a bit. If you do get serious with the girl, your mom will have to get over it or jeopardize her relationship with you.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: When I agreed with my partner that it was time to get a dog, I thought we would be taking care of it together. Nope. Six months into it and I’m the one who does the walking, training, cleaning up after, and vet visits.

I have definitely fall in love with our spaniel, but how did I end up being a “single parent”? --- COULD USE SOME HELP HERE

DEAR COULD USE SOME HELP HERE: So long as the decision was truly mutual, you need to remind your partner that your four-legged baby has two adopted parents. Not sharing the responsibilities will lead to further, deeper resentments, and that doesn’t do anybody any good.

Basic as it sounds, try making a job list or walking schedule so your partner doesn’t continue to assume it’s all on you.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My sister is my daughter’s favorite adult. Her own kids are grown, and even though she is nearly 15 years older than me, my 12-year-old daughter looks up to her like a cooler second mom.

I really think my sister forgot the hell her own kids put her through at this age, because she gives what I think is terrible advice to my daughter, who then uses her aunt’s advice against me and to defend her bad actions.

I don’t want to cut my sister off from my daughter, but what else can I do to make her influence less in my daughter’s life? --- NOT REALLY UNCOOL MOM

DEAR NOT REALLY UNCOOL MOM: Cutting your daughter off from her aunt could lead to more tension between you and your daughter, and probably wouldn’t do much for your relationship with your sister.

You need to openly tell your sister that, while you’re glad she and your daughter are so close, you have your own ideas of how to raise your child and need her to step back and let you do your job the best way you know how.