DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My father and mother always kept their important papers and some jewelry in a safe deposit box at their bank. My mom passed away a few years ago and my dad late last fall. My older brother is the executor and he said he has looked in the safe deposit box and there isn’t anything of mine in there. I know that isn’t true, because there was a watch that was my grandfather’s that both he and my dad said would be mine when they were gone.

I know my brother has no interest in the watch other than what he can get for it by selling it. To me, it’s part of our family history and I want it so that I can pass it on to one of my own kids someday.

I spoke to my sister-in-law and she mentioned that my brother does have the watch and intends to sell it. She doesn’t agree with his decision, but she says that since he’s the executor and there’s nothing in the will specifically mentioning the watch, he figures he can do what he wants with it, so long as he divides the money evenly between him and me. I want the watch, but I don’t want to have to fight my brother for it. What else can I do to get my watch? --- WANT MY WATCH

DEAR WANT MY WATCH: This is the kind of situation that so often tears families apart after a close relative dies.

It sounds like you may have an ally in your sister-in-law. Perhaps she can help convince your brother that the right thing to do is to follow your father’s and grandfather’s wishes. However, if he claims he wasn’t aware of this long-standing promise, and if it’s not in the will, you might consider getting specific legal advice on what, if any, options you have in this situation.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My husband and I recently moved into a new home with our son who is seven. Across the street live three kids. The neighbor kids and my son were friendly at first, but then my son would tell me about the mean things the kids do to him.

One day, we caught one of the neighbor kids vandalizing our property. Both my husband and I told them not to come onto our property anymore. My husband also told the father.

A few weeks later, I caught the neighbor kids playing in our front yard. Again, I told them they are not welcome in our yard and they need to leave.

A few weeks after that incident, I was home with my son and when I looked out our front window, there were the neighbor kids riding scooters in and out of my driveway!

I marched outside and I stood in the driveway and I said, “Stop it, now. Stay out of my yard!”

The oldest kid got very mouthy and lied and said nobody was in my yard. Well, I had had enough at that point. I yelled very loudly and pretty angrily, “You stay out of my yard and driveway!! Don’t you ever step foot in my yard again!!” turned around and went inside. The mother immediately comes and bangs on my door and tells me not to yell at her kids anymore.

What is happening here? Don’t I have the right to tell kids to get out of my yard and stay out?? --- FED UP WITH NEIGHBOR KIDS

DEAR FED UP WITH NEIGHBOR KIDS: This is the type of situation that can escalate into a full-out feud all too quickly. It sounds like these kids thrive on getting a rise out of you, and based on their mother’s reaction, it’s not likely anything you say will convince her her kids are in the wrong.

Since you mentioned you and your husband caught the kids vandalizing your property, their behavior crosses the line from annoying to criminal. You can’t prove any wrongdoing from that particular incident, but I’d begin chronicling what’s happening in front of your house, on your private property. Take pictures and videos, and I wouldn’t be too shy about letting them know you’re doing so.

If they continue to use your driveway and damage your property, consider contacting the police, using their non-emergency number. A little official mediation might help, and a squad car showing up may be enough to let the family across the street know you’re taking what’s happening seriously.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Starting in April, my wife and I will be living in Paris for 18 months for a project we’re working on for our business. It’s a tremendous opportunity, and our oldest son and his wife, who have an infant, have offered to move into the house as house sitters to help save themselves rent and bank the savings toward a down payment for a house.

My wife is fine with them living rent-free, but I’m not so thrilled with it. We’ll have extra expenses while we’re abroad, and I’ve heard from coworkers that they’ve charged family members something to stay in their homes in similar circumstances. Why shouldn’t we? --- NO FREE RIDES

DEAR NO FREE RIDES: At the very least, your son and his family should be responsible for all the costs involved in keeping the house going, such as the utilities and any routine maintenance fees. Beyond that, the question of what, or if, to charge is something you and your wife have to settle first between the two of you, and then make very clear to your son and daughter-in-law.

As you’ve probably already done, bear in mind you’ll still have your taxes and homeowner’s insurance to stay on top of, as well as a mortgage, if you have one. Those things add up and need to be taken into consideration.

Even if you and your wife end up charging a modest rent, the young couple should still be saving something, and hopefully you’ll get peace of mind knowing the house is not sitting empty.