DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Our daughter is almost 21 years old and she still does not have her driver’s license. A friend of hers was in a wreck when they were teenagers around the time both girls had just begun learning to drive. Although, thank God, no one was seriously hurt in the accident, it was enough to frighten our daughter out of wanting to learn to drive then, and it seems to have given her time to continue growing that fear until now. Fortunately, we live near public transportation, but it is only enough to get her to work and back. For anything else, she has to rely on friends, family, and Uber to get her anywhere.

Not only do we have a willingness to help her learn to drive, but we even have a car that we can put at her disposal and that she could easily afford the insurance and maintenance on for the amount she would use it.

What can we do to convince our daughter that getting her license ultimately gives her independence? --- OUR DAUGHTER WON’T DRIVE

DEAR OUR DAUGHTER WON’T DRIVE: Driving is one of those things that someone has to be truly ready to take on. I saw it with our own kids, all of whom progressed toward their license in their own way, on their own timetable.

I think the best you can do for now is to continue encouraging your daughter, but also let her take the time she needs to feel safe and be more comfortable behind the wheel.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My daughter and her husband are the most competitive couple I know. They always have been, at least since they started dating in their senior year of college. Both were into sports, her softball and him baseball; he did footballs, she did field hockey. He grew up in rec leagues, on travel teams, and playing varsity in high school, just like our daughter.

Even now, although they work in very different fields, they have to one-up the other when it comes time for advancements or recognitions.

To me it seems like insecurity, but I’ve never been very competitive. How can two people with such competitive streaks make a successful marriage? It has me worried since it doesn’t look like this is something that becoming an adult changed for either of them. --- NOT A COMPETITOR

DEAR NOT A COMPETITOR: Competition seems to be one of those ingredients that can either strengthen a relationship if both parties are working toward a common goal, or put stress on it if they’re forever trying to top each other. When your daughter and son-in-law were in school and competing in separate sports, it was one thing. Now they’re competing in life with each other, and that holds the potential for trouble ahead.

It could be time to talk to them about your concerns. They may need to be given a little push to step back and see what they’re doing in the marriage. Like many former athletes, they might not be aware that they’re approaching life like it’s a championship. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it’s also not necessarily a healthy thing for a couple when they’re each other’s rival.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I work in what most people would consider a downbeat field. The way most people understand what we do is when I say we’re the real life “Sunshine Cleaners”. There are three teams that get dispatched to take care of homes and businesses either where something horrible has happened, been lived in by hoarders or old people who have died or been moved to nursing homes, or there’s been bad water, fire, or smoke damage.

When people call in for our services, they are often at a real low point, and so we treat them with care and respect.

The new employee has started like all of the rest of us did, manning the phones and getting to know about dispatching, billing, and supplies management while she takes the training our company requires before sending anyone out on a job.

She is a fast learner, and seems both smart and friendly, all of which make her a good addition to the company. The problem is, she is so cheerful and perky that it seems wrong to have all that brightness answering the phone and dealing with people in really rough shape.

I’ve said something about it to the boss, but since he’s happy to have someone who is so promising in every other way, he seems willing to overlook her perkiness, and will sometimes jump on the phones as soon as they ring so the current or potential clients don’t have to be greeted by all that sunshine.

Don’t you think it comes off as unprofessional to have so much upbeat energy coming at you when you’re in deep s

t or emotionally a wreck? --- NEED SUNGLASSES AT WORK

DEAR NEED SUNGLASSES AT WORK: That your boss steps in to grab the phones implies he’s aware some work could be needed in this area with the new staff member. So, if he’s not having trouble with her, and if she’s doing well otherwise, why not let him take care of it? He may be getting ready to move her on to responsibilities more suited to her sunny disposition.

I have to admit, though, I can’t help but wonder how she’ll do when faced with the more gruesome cleaning jobs if they’re in her future.