DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I met a guy on Tinder and we started talking five months after I broke up with my old boyfriend. I was with my ex-boyfriend through the last two years of college and for the first year after we graduated. Then I found out he was interested in someone he met at work. Nothing happened with her until we were not together anymore, but it did happen quickly after we ended things.
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Unlike my ex, I waited a few months to start looking around, and when I connected with the guy I am with now, I still took my time to make sure he was boyfriend material.
Things seemed to be going fine until he told me he isn’t really into exclusive relationships. That’s when he told me that even though he really likes me, he has been seeing someone else too from almost the start of when we got together.
I really like this guy, and after being in a long-term relationship for a few years straight, I am actually not sure I am ready to get too deeply involved with a new guy, but I also know the open thing feels uncomfortable to me.
If I am not sure what I want, do you think open’s actually the way to go? --- UNDECIDED
DEAR UNDECIDED: If you’re not ready to jump into a committed relationship right now, then going out with someone who shares that frame of mind may make some sense.
However, you expressed that you’re not entirely comfortable with an open arrangement. If you find you’re getting stronger feelings for this new man than he’s demonstrating he has for you, I think you’d be better in the long run taking your time and finding someone you click with and who isn’t concurrently clicking with other people.