DEAR ABBY: I can't thank you enough for recommending the Alzheimer's Association in your column.

My "Aunt Sadie" was ill and bedridden for several years before she passed away. It was only after her death that our family realized that her husband, "Uncle Harry," was showing symptoms of dementia. The responsibility for his care fell on us, and we didn't know what to do.

I remembered that you said people who need help for someone with Alzheimer's disease or dementia should call the Alzheimer's Association. The executive director of our local chapter was very kind and helpful. He helped us find a place to get my uncle evaluated; it turned out it WAS Alzheimer's disease.

The caseworker who came to assist our family was incredibly sympathetic and supportive. She answered every question and was a consummate professional who really made us feel she cared. She helped us find the right place for Uncle Harry to stay, since he sometimes became very aggressive, and we could no longer care for him ourselves. It was a painful decision, but it was the right thing to do -- for all of us. Uncle Harry passed away a short time later, which was a blessing.

Our experience with the Alzheimer's Association remains a positive memory. Their telephone helpline and support group provided reassurance and helpful information. They helped us sift through the health-care maze to get the services we needed for my uncle, and more than lived up to their slogan, "Someone to Stand by You." -- LAURIE IN LOS ANGELES

DEAR LAURIE: I'm pleased, but not surprised, that your experience with the Alzheimer's Association was so positive. I can't think of a better organization to provide assistance to families who are faced with this emotionally devastating problem.

Alzheimer's disease now affects more than 4 million people in this country, a number that is projected to double by the time the baby boomer generation reaches age 65. It touches nearly every family and affects all of society.

The national Memory Walk sponsored by the Alzheimer's Association will take place Oct. 4 and 5 in more than 200 communities across the United States. It raises money specifically targeted for programs and services to help people with the disease and their families.

Call your local Alzheimer's Association chapter, or 1-800-272-3900 (toll-free), or visit the association's Web site at http.//www.alz.org for more information.

DEAR ABBY: My 4-year-old daughter will be the flower girl in my brother's wedding. Since it is an adult reception, she and the ring bearer are being asked to leave the reception after they have been introduced and eaten dinner.

We spent $70 on her dress and contributed money toward the shower. I cannot believe she is expected to leave before the festivities and, frankly, we can't afford a sitter in addition to all the money we've already spent.

My husband and I have decided to go home with her when it's time for her to leave. Am I overreacting? -- SISTER OF THE GROOM

DEAR SISTER OF THE GROOM: A reasonable compromise has been proposed by the bridal couple. Your daughter and the ring bearer will have a chance to enjoy their dinner, and everyone will get to meet them. There will be no other children there for them to play with, and at their tender ages, they will probably have had enough excitement by then.

A day of joy is not the time to make a personal statement; therefore I would not advise leaving with your daughter. If you can't afford a sitter, consider sharing the cost with the parents of the ring bearer.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am an educator with the Cord Blood Registry, responding to the letter in your column about donors needed for the bone marrow registry.

I would like to tell you and your readers about an amazing opportunity to assist tens of thousands of people in need of stem cells that used to be available only through bone marrow transplants.

Diseases like Hodgkin's lymphoma, sickle cell anemia and leukemia can now be treated with stem cells from umbilical cord blood.

The process of collecting it is painless; however, it must be collected immediately following birth. Umbilical cords are often just discarded. It is a tragedy that expectant parents are rarely made aware of the importance of their child's umbilical cord blood. It can be banked privately for their families, or donated through the International Cord Blood Foundation for use by patients who desperately require a matching transplant.

There are also special programs to help families bank the cord blood should a family member be stricken with an illness that places him or her in serious need of a transplant.

Abby, please urge families who are concerned about saving lives with umbilical cord blood to contact the Cord Blood Registry at 1-888-267-3256 (toll-free) or www.cordblood.com to learn more about banking their cord blood. -- KATIE HEFFELFINGER, CORD BLOOD EDUCATOR, BETHLEHEM, PA.

DEAR MS. HEFFELFINGER: I'm pleased to alert readers to this relatively new therapy, which became available in the late 1980s.

I was fascinated to learn that "cord blood" is the blood that remains in the umbilical cord and placenta after a baby is born. Like bone marrow, it has been found to be a rich source of stem cells -- the building blocks of the blood and immune system. Cord blood may provide treatment advantages over bone marrow, especially when it comes from an immediate family member. Saving it may prove especially significant for ethnic minority patients, and those with a family history of leukemia or cancer.

If the umbilical cord blood from all the deliveries in the United States were stored, successful matches could be found without the long, time-consuming search for a bone marrow donor.

There is no cost for public donation of umbilical cord blood, but the application and testing process must be started at least two months before the delivery. Parents wishing to store their newborn's cord blood for their own potential use can do so for a fee. However, anyone with a family member who already HAS a condition for which stem cells may be a treatment option, can store cord blood at no cost through the Cord Blood Registry's Designated Transplant Program. (For information on this option, call the number listed above.)

DEAR ABBY: I thought you might be interested in the role you played in getting my young son to read. When he was in the elementary grades, I insisted that he read the newspaper every day and find something interesting to discuss with me. Well, it didn't take him very long to find your column, and he shared it with me each day. He is grown now and loves to read your column and many other things as well. Thank you, Dear Abby. -- STELLA LEHNERT, DETROIT

DEAR STELLA: Thank YOU. I have always encouraged young people to hone their reading skills. To learn that I had a part in developing your son's reading habits is gratifying.

For those young people who may have missed my advice on reading, I repeat:

If I could give young people one piece of advice, it would be read, read, read! In reading, you will open up new worlds, real and imagined. Read for information, read for pleasure. Our libraries are filled with knowledge and joy, and it's all there -- free for the taking. The person who DOES NOT read is no better off than the person who CANNOT read.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: What's a roommate to do? My roommate, Susie, has five children. They range in age from 11 to 18. Two live with her, and three live with their father. When all five are here for a month in the summer, life is difficult.

The children who live with their father have few rules, no chores, curfews or discipline in their home. When they arrive, they are frequently rude, complaining, unappreciative, and disrespectful to their mother, their siblings and to me.

As a homeowner and single woman, I cringe when the children arrive. I know there will be no peace in my home until they leave. I worry about my pets, swimming pool or trampoline accidents, my belongings and my ability to hold my tongue.

The question: Would I be out of line if I spoke up and said, "This is what's expected of you while you are visiting in my home"?

Abby, there must be other people in situations similar to mine. What do they do under these cirumstances? -- PUZZLED IN ARKANSAS

DEAR PUZZLED: You have every right to tell the children, "These are the rules of the house, and I expect you to abide by them." You might also hand them a list such as the following:

HOUSE RULES

1. If you open it, close it.

2. If you turn it on, turn it off.

3. If you unlock it, lock it.

4. If you break it, repair it.

5. If you can't fix it, call in someone who can.

6. If you borrow it, return it.

7. If you use it, take care of it.

8. If you make a mess, clean it up.

9. If you move it, put it back.

10. If it belongs to someone else and you want to use it, get permission.

11. If you don't know how to operate it, leave it alone.

12. If it doesn't concern you, don't mess with it.

Also, give consideration to increasing your household insurance to cover possible damage.

I wish you the best of luck!

DEAR ABBY: I have been a librarian for 25 years and hope you will help me get an important message out to people everywhere.

Many times when patrons approach me at the library information desk, they preface their requests with, "I know this is probably a dumb question, but ..." Abby, this always distresses me, because the fact is, most librarians love their work -- and if everyone walked into the library already knowing how to find the information they want, we wouldn't be needed!

I always tell my patrons that as far as I'm concerned, there are no "dumb" questions, and if it weren't for their asking for my help, I would be working at something far less enjoyable. So, the message is, "Please ask the librarian. We want to help you!" Thanks, Abby. -- CAROL GOODSON, CARROLLTON, GA.

DEAR CAROL: I'm pleased to convey your message. I am in complete agreement with your philosophy that there's no such thing as a dumb question. What is really dumb is remaining ignorant.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)