DEAR ABBY: Dr. Eugene Schoenfeld recently said in your column that most psychiatrists deny that chronic fatigue is a "real disease." I write to offer a different opinion, shared by a growing number of physicians who have studied the scientific literature on chronic fatigue syndrome -- which now numbers several thousand research articles.

There is no evidence of any psychiatric disorder in a sizable number of patients with this illness. However, in laboratory tests, there is evidence of abnormalities in the brain and immune system of many of these patients. The immune system abnormalities, fortunately, do not seem to make patients vulnerable to infections. I highlight those studies in an article published in the Journal of the American Medical Association in October 1997.

We still do not understand the cause of chronic fatigue syndrome, but studies around the world show that the illness involves real changes in the bodies of many patients. It is not, as Dr. Schoenfeld seems to believe, "all in their heads." -- ANTHONY L. KOMAROFF, M.D., PROFESSOR OF MEDICINE, HARVARD MEDICAL SCHOOL

DEAR DR. KOMAROFF: Thank you for sharing your professional opinion with me, and for offering other physicians a reliable source of information about chronic fatigue and immune dysfunction syndrome. I am pleased that advances in understanding this disease have been made. I know my readers will be also.

DEAR ABBY: I am responding to "Feeling Worthless in New Hampshire," who wrote that her husband didn't value her because he brings in the money while she stays home managing the household and caring for the children.

As a child and as a teen-ager, I watched my mother care for my siblings and me and didn't think anything of it. Now the tide has turned. Because of an injury, I remain at home while my wife works. I had never realized how exhausting it can be to handle everything at home. I have a newfound respect for all women who remain at home while the "man of the house" works, not to mention those women who work and manage their homes, too. Even though my wife is tired after a day at the office, she pitches in around the house far more than I did when I was working on the outside. I wonder how many men come home and consider giving their wives a break by helping out.

"Worthless" should be proud that she manages one of the most important "corporations" in the world -- the family. My hat is off to all stay-at-home mothers. I now have more respect for them and for what I took for granted all those years. -- STAY-AT-HOME DAD

DEAR DAD: My hat is also off to them, and to YOU as well, for saying so!

DEAR ABBY: There are a few words in our wonderful language that irritate me, and I would think your many readers have their pet peeve words as well. Why don't you take a reader survey on the subject? Maybe I'm not the only one whose blood pressure goes up from certain words.

For starters, here's a short, homemade poem:

There are words in English that irk us all,

From me you'll get no quibbling.

And the one that drives me up a wall

Is when a kid is called a "sibling."

-- CHARLES F. YARHAM, ROCKY RIVER, OHIO

DEAR CHARLES: Cute! Readers?

Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm 51 years old, married, and have a grown son who's 30. I'll call him Butch. I'm writing to express my displeasure with computer greeting cards. I'm not knocking all computers, only the ones that print out greeting cards. If Butch doesn't care enough about me to go to a store and pick out a card -- even if it costs only a dollar -- for my birthday, etc., then he can just keep his computer cards.

Abby, please spread the word that it's the warm thoughts in picking out a card that really count. A card printed by a computer is cold, with no heart, no feelings. It's not what a mother deserves. -- HURT MOMMA IN GREENWOOD, MISS.

DEAR HURT: Please reconsider your stance on this. Many mothers never receive any cards from their children. Bear in mind that many of the software programs for creating greeting cards on computers are complicated. Even the simple ones take some time and practice to master. Rather than drive to a store, your son sat down at his computer and created a one-of-a-kind card for you. In my opinion, that's at least as much effort as going to a store and selecting one, and shows heart and feeling.

Remember when, as a child, Butch came running home from school with a picture he drew especially for you? That came from the heart, and this is no different.

DEAR ABBY: This letter is far too late for Mother's Day, but it still may do some good.

My family attends a small church in the southern United States. Mother's Day is one service I refuse to attend any more. The atmosphere for this service is funereal. The service starts out with songs like "If I Could Only Hear My Mother Pray Again" and "Mother's Marker." From there, they call mothers who are the "youngest," "oldest" and "has most children" to the front for a gift.

I lost my mom to cancer in 1991, and Mother's Day is the saddest day of the year for me. Even before my mom died, I would go to church and cry along with others who were hurting.

Parents should be honored every day, not just one day. Please, let us all be more considerate to those who no longer have a mom. -- STILL HURTING IN LUTTRELL, TENN.

DEAR STILL HURTING: Amen! And let us not forget the moms who have lost children to death. Be assured that they will never forget.

DEAR ABBY: So many people rely on what you write that I am writing to you to ask you to please print a correction in your inclusion of Georgia in the list of states allowing common-law marriage.

Common-law marriages created prior to Jan. 1, 1997, may be upheld, but those after that date will not. We do not want anyone to begin living with another under the assumption that their union will become legal. -- KIPLING LOUISE MC VAY, JUDGE, CHEROKEE COUNTY PROBATE COURT, CANTON, GA.

DEAR JUDGE MC VAY: I was unaware that Georgia changed its requirements for common-law marriage last year -- as were my library researchers. Thank you for pointing this out. In my own defense, let me say that I advised any couple considering common-law marriage to consult an attorney before assuming that their union is legal and binding.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Please warn your readers that fireworks are deadly.

Two months before his 4th birthday, my son Michael attended our family reunion. A Patriot missile launcher was part of the evening's fireworks entertainment. The Patriot, a multiple-tube aerial mine and shell-1.4G firework, was legal for consumer use. No one at the reunion could predict that the product would become unstable while firing, tip over and shoot horizontally across the yard.

Michael, standing between my legs more than 40 feet from the launch area, had only reflex time to turn his face before the explosive collided with his head, fracturing his skull and burning his brain. Our son remained conscious, actually aware of his head injury and its pain. He died the next day from the extensive damage.

That product was recalled, but removing only one fireworks product from the market does little to protect our children. In 1996, there were 7,600 fireworks-related injuries that received hospital emergency room care -- and this number does not reflect the countless number of injuries treated elsewhere.

Twenty-five percent of all fireworks injuries are eye-related. With a 90-year history of saving sight, Prevent Blindness America is expanding its annual fireworks awareness campaign by debuting "Light the Night for Sight" this June. Light the Night for Sight promotes safe and fun ideas for celebrating our nation's birth, including a walkathon in more than 40 locations across the United States.

Abby, please share our experience with your readers and let them know about Prevent Blindness. The information they offer can save lives. -- JACK, ROBIN AND STEPHANIE SHANNON, CARY, N.C.

DEAR JACK, ROBIN AND STEPHANIE: Please accept my sympathy for the tragic loss of your precious little boy, Michael. I hope your warning serves as a reminder of the potentially life-threatening danger that fireworks can pose. They do not belong in the hands of nonprofessionals.

Most communities offer spectacular pyrotechnical displays on July 4. Not only are they colorful entertainment, they can be enjoyed with the assurance of safety.

Prevent Blindness offers a free brochure that proposes alternative activities to celebrate our nation's birth with creativity and fun instead of flames or dangerous chemicals. It can be ordered by calling this toll-free number: (800) 331-2020.

DEAR ABBY: I am an administrator at a school that has both secondary and post-secondary occupational training. Like "Honor Student," I am offended at the insinuation that vocational students are low achievers who need a "lesser" school to attend. I applaud you and "Honor Student" for standing up for these students.

Our students are a cross section of the students of today. They include the average, below-average and above-average. Many in the post-secondary school have some college or a degree. These students are the ones who keep the public's cars running, the plumbing operating, repair the TVs and erect the homes. Don't forget that building the building is equally as important as designing it.

One point you failed to recognize needs to be noted. You mentioned the benefits to the students, but there is a benefit to the public as well. -- DOYLE SLATEN, PRESIDENT, FOOTHILL TECHNICAL INSTITUTE, SEARCY, ARK.

DEAR DOYLE: Thank you for pointing out the benefit to the community that vocational education provides. In addition to the courses of study that you mentioned, courses in medical technology, bookkeeping and accounting, court reporting, computer drafting, electronics, bartending and casino dealing -- to mention only a few of the options -- are offered. For those readers who are interested in pursuing this further, your local phone book is an excellent resource.

For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)