DEAR ABBY: Concerning the letter from "Debra in Oklahoma City" whose father informed her that guns are still loaded when the clip is removed -- let me state my qualifications for writing. I am a former Army officer specializing in instructing small arms and hand-to-hand combat, and a former police officer.

Anyone who doesn't have the sense to open the action of his (or her) automatic weapon to remove any round left in the chamber -- as illustrated by the letter in your column -- should have second thoughts about owning one. Having a loaded weapon lying around if one has no intention of using it is asking for a disaster.

If someone knows nothing about firearms and has no interest in owning one, I have no quarrel with that. However, if someone has no knowledge of firearms and is intent on owning one -- PLEASE get qualified help before purchasing one! -- D.A.J., HERMISTON, ORE.

DEAR D.A.J.: Good advice from a weapons expert. Predictably, Debra's letter brought me a fusillade of mail. For a sample, read on:

DEAR ABBY: I hope no other family has to learn how true "Debra's" statement is about there being a bullet still in the chamber after the clip has been removed.

On Oct. 31, 1999, my 4-year-old and 2-year-old great-grandsons were playing with a 9 mm gun at their home. They found it in an unlocked case within their reach. The 2-year-old pulled the trigger and fatally shot the 4-year-old. Yes, the clip had been removed, but a bullet was still in the chamber.

Parents, please lock up those guns, because even a 2-year-old can fire a gun! -- GRIEVING GRANDMOTHER IN ARIZONA

DEAR GRANDMOTHER: I offer my sincere sympathy for the tragic loss that has befallen your family. I hope your chilling letter will be a wake-up call for those who need one. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: It amazes me that someone with such little knowledge of firearms would purchase and carry a semiautomatic handgun. My brother-in-law, who is a responsible and knowledgeable gun owner, left a bullet in the chamber of his gun -- and accidentally shot himself in the hand. Even longtime gun owners can have accidents.

New gun owners should make it a priority to become familiar with their weapon. Go to a gun range and practice with it. Learn how to handle it safely. Learn proper storage of the weapon. The law states that all firearms must be stored out of the reach of children. Remember, what you hold in your hand has the power to take a life -- yours, a loved one's, or an innocent bystander's. -- RICK ETZ, COCOA, FLA.

DEAR RICK: It's frightening how often that law is misunderstood or ignored. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: My only daughter and dearest friend, Tara, was killed three years ago by a man well-versed in gun safety. He's an ex-Marine and NRA member. As he sat in his apartment cleaning his guns, he failed to notice that one was loaded. The bullet penetrated the common wall and struck my daughter in the head.

The senselessness of my daughter's death and the resulting trauma will forever be in our lives. -- ANNE COAKLEY, BOULDER, COLO.

DEAR ANNE: Please accept my deepest sympathy for your loss. No parent should ever have to face the heartache of burying a child. Let's hope that your letter serves as an important lesson that could prevent a tragedy. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: The level of ignorance in this country runs from street level to administrative. In U.S. News magazine, I recently saw a photograph of a table full of guns from a "buyback" -- with police officers and officials touting safer streets. Unfortunately, they forgot to ensure their own safety. Several of the weapons had their hammers back -- presumably ready to fire! -- DR. ALLAN QUERENS JR., METAIRIE, LA.

DEAR DR. QUERENS: So much for guns being safe in the hands of gun experts -- experts who should be more safety conscious.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Again the other morning the news was about the terrible losses from a tornado striking in the middle of the night -- this time in south Georgia. Could you please tell people about weather-warning radios? Sadly, they seem to be a well-kept secret.

After tornadoes struck at night in other states last year, I bought weather radios for each of my children's homes and for myself. They're relatively inexpensive ($30 to $60) and can be tucked in a corner, out of the way. What they do is respond to a radio signal from the NOAA (National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration) when dangerous weather is imminent. The signal turns on the radio to alert people.

The radio at our house is in the hallway outside our bedrooms. It's tuned to the nearest weather station, with the volume up all the way. At 2:30 a.m. on the night the storm hit Georgia, we were awakened by the signal and the warning of a potentially dangerous storm. Luckily, we had only torrential rain and some tree-trimming wind. At least we knew what was happening and could have made it to the basement if things had gotten worse.

We are blessed with attentive weather people on television and at NOAA who notify us of impending storms. However, at night there is no better way to learn of impending bad weather than from a weather radio. I'd rather be awakened for a storm that doesn't turn bad than chance what happened to those poor folks in Georgia.

Thanks, Abby, for giving me a forum. I hope you'll consider this letter worth printing. -- JANET H. MAHANNAH, GASTONIA, N.C.

DEAR JANET: Your letter is certainly worth space in my column. I'm sure there are many other individuals like me who have never heard of weather-warning radios.

After reading your letter, I made some inquiries about NOAA Weather Radios, which continually broadcast National Weather Service forecasts, warnings and other important weather information. They can be programmed to receive information specific to a certain geographic area.

The NOAA Weather Radio is the one government-operated radio system that provides direct warnings to the public for natural and manmade hazards -- from floods to forest fires to oil spills.

The radios are available at many retail stores that sell electronic appliances, marine supply stores, truck stops, cable shopping networks, mail-order catalogs and the Internet. They cost from $20 to $80 depending on the model.

For people who live in areas where violent storms occur, a NOAA weather radio could be a lifesaver. However, while most areas in the country are covered by the NOAA warning system, a few areas may not be, so ask at your local National Weather Service office before you purchase the weather radio.

DEAR ABBY: In your column, you have indicated your interest in thoughts on friendship. I am a member of the Jesuit community in Wauwatosa, Wis. During a clergy renewal semester at Notre Dame University, I developed the following statement:

"A true and genuine friend, one of those very few special persons who enter my life, is one with whom I can share my brokenness without feeling cheapened." -- RENEWED CLERGYMAN

DEAR RENEWED: Your words are beautiful, and I know they'll resonate with my readers as they did with me.

P.S. Please don't feel "cheapened in your brokenness." None of us emerge from the kiln of life without a few cracks, which lend character to the finish.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: We have a problem with relatives not knowing when a visit should end. They call on weekend afternoons to say they'll be stopping over for an hour or so. Well, the couple of hours stretch into five or six, and then it's dinnertime.

How does one "push" these uninvited guests out the door so that we can proceed with our dinner? I'm not prepared for four, five or six dinner "guests" -- nor do I feel I should be.

It has become very stressful, since these are my husband's relatives and I must watch what I say, and I don't even want these people visiting. Don't people realize how rude it is to overstay their visit? -- STEAMED IN MINNESOTA

DEAR STEAMED: I'm sure that most people realize it's rude to overstay their welcome -- but when it comes to "family," they suspend the formalities.

The next time it happens, do what many other families do. Say, "Let's order out for a pizza and split the bill!"

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have a dilemma and hope you can provide an answer. We will soon celebrate our 40th anniversary. We want to have a small dinner for those people who were in our wedding party. (There are only a few left.) We would also like to invite some close friends.

We would like to include something in our invitations that would relay a "sincere message" that we do not want any gifts. The presence of our friends and family to help us celebrate this occasion is the best gift we could receive.

Please do not reveal my name. We have not completed our guest list, and I would not like to slight anyone. -- WANTS TO OFFEND NO ONE

DEAR WANTS: Yours is a question I receive at least once a year. The message can be worded as follows: "No gifts, please. Your presence will be our cherished gift, and we respectfully request no other."

DEAR ABBY: As I type this letter I am eating the last bite of a slice of the cheesecake that I made yesterday for my family. It is, of course, your wonderful recipe. I have made about 15 of them since the recipe was last printed in the newspaper. My family loves it. The only dessert they have raved about as much is your pecan pie recipe. I don't much care for pecan pie myself -- but I love this one.

It was mentioned in your column that you have written a cookbooklet. I would like to know where to get one or two. I love to find delicious recipes that are also easy to prepare. -- GAIL SAUNDERS, KANSAS CITY, MO.

DEAR GAIL: I'm delighted that my dessert recipes have been such a hit with your family. I have actually published two cookbooklets: "Dear Abby's Favorite Recipes," followed by "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." (The cheesecake recipe is found in the first one, but there are recipes that are equally delicious in the second one as well.)

If you're as busy as I am -- and most people are these days -- yet want to serve something special to your family and friends, you'll find delectable, easy recipes for foods from appetizers to fabulous desserts. All of my recipes have to be easy to assemble as well as tasty because during the last 40 years I haven't had a lot of time to spend in the kitchen!

To order my family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 for each booklet ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklets, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054. (Postage is included.)