DEAR ABBY: Thank you for the safety tips you offered to "Curious in Indiana," who bikes alone. As a female cyclist and mother of a biking daughter, I agree that telling her parents her riding plan (or leaving a descriptive note), and carrying a cell phone are good measures. In addition, she should dress like a boy! Leave the cute little tops for when she's riding with a large group, and instead, wear a bright, high-visibility T-shirt or jersey that can catch a motorist's eye but doesn't shout "female!" from half a mile away.

"Curious" should also be constantly aware of her surroundings. This assumes no headphones, and means she'll know what vehicles are approaching from front and rear and who is in them. She should be ready if a dog runs out, and know if a storm is imminent. A family password is also a good idea, so no stranger can impersonate a "caring messenger" and get too close. -- HAPPY TRAILWINDS IN WISCONSIN

DEAR HAPPY: Thank you! I received a slew of letters and e-mails from readers eager to offer additional safety tips to that girl. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: You forgot one very important tip. Wear a bike helmet! If she fell and hit her head on one of those lonely country roads, it could mean the difference between life and death. -- AVID BICYCLIST IN SACRAMENTO

DEAR ABBY: Your suggestions were good, but it might also be wise for that girl to carry Mace or pepper spray for protection if it can be used legally in her state. -- KATHLEEN IN TITUSVILLE, PA.

DEAR ABBY: Please remind every bike rider to wear reflective clothing, and ensure that their bike has front and back lights. Most important, they need to observe the rules of the road. A bike is just like a car and needs to stop at lights and signs. It will help that 13-year-old ensure her own safety. -- WALTER J., SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA

DEAR ABBY: "Curious in Indiana" should check to see if there are any bicycle groups nearby. It's a great way to find like-minded teens and instant friends.

In the '70s, as a bike leader for the American Youth Hostels, I was trained in first aid and bike repair -- both of which I used on the long-distance trips I led. (That was in the days before cell phones.) As a mom today, I'd prefer that my daughter was not alone on the road. -- DR. J., KALAMAZOO, MICH.

DEAR ABBY: She should be sure to carry water, as well as some form of ID when she rides. It should include her name, her city or town, home phone number or the number where her parents can be reached, her blood type, and any allergies or medical conditions. (The information can be worn around her neck, engraved on a bracelet or attached to her shoe.) -- MELODY IN IRVINE, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: That cyclist should make sure she knows how to change her own flat tire, and carry all the tools necessary to do so every time she rides. (She should always check to be sure the glue in her patch kit hasn't dried out.) The more she can learn about "out-there repair," the less chance she'll have of being stranded somewhere she'd rather not be. -- FELLOW CYCLIST, LEMONT, PA.

DEAR ABBY: My son, who is the same age, rides his bike and hikes in an area where cell phones are not reliable. We gave him a walkie-talkie with a seven-mile radius, and it's much cheaper than a cell phone. -- COUNTRY MOM, STEVENS POINT, WIS.

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DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of four children, ages 18 to 25. A "practice" they discuss among their friends is the "rite of turning 21," which is to drink 21 shots of hard alcohol.

I'd like to think my children are intelligent and informed enough to know how dangerous this could be, but when I mention it, I get the standby, "Everyone does it" or "It's fine."

I worry myself sick over this, not only for my own kids, but for all young adults. Please shed some light on this practice. Perhaps they will listen to you.

I'm not naive enough to think they won't drink, but 21 shots is not the best birthday gift to themselves. -- WORRIED MOM, MISSOULA, MONT.

DEAR WORRIED MOM: Your children are mistaken. Binge drinking isn't "fine" and not everybody does it. Rapid consumption of alcohol, particularly in large amounts, is extremely dangerous. It has been known to cause severe illness, coma and even death.

This is a topic that has appeared in my column before, in the form of letters from concerned members of the health-care profession and from grieving parents. The rite of passage that your children are discussing can be a "passage" right out of this life and into the next. Only a fool or someone very immature would take that kind of risk.

DEAR ABBY: I have been living with "Angelo" for six years. His dog passed away in May. Frankly, I was relieved because the dog had been the main focus in Angelo's life and the cause of many problems and fights. I had considered leaving him over it, but didn't want to give up on the relationship.

After the dog's death, things got much better. Angelo and I started going places without the constant "... have to get home to the dog."

He started talking about getting another dog, but I told him I was against it. Well, some members of Angelo's family and some of his friends urged him to get another one. They said I'd grow to love it. Last month he took them up on it. He is now entirely focused on the new dog, and I feel betrayed. I told Angelo it was either me or the dog, but the dog is still here. What should I do? -- BETRAYED IN WESTCHESTER, PA.

DEAR BETRAYED: Now that you know how little Angelo respects your feelings, you should move. When you told him it was you or the dog, and he got one anyway, he gave you your answer.

DEAR ABBY: I am married to the most wonderful man in the world. He is my best friend and lover. He is also a dwarf. My problem concerns how to deal with the public.

When we are out, people make comments and faces. I am aware of it, but I'm not sure my husband is. When I catch people staring, I give them a dirty look. How should I handle this? I am considered attractive, and people who don't know us well ask why I am with this wonderful man. -- OFFENDED IN ORLANDO

DEAR OFFENDED: Your husband is probably aware of the stares, but has grown used to them by now. If someone is so rude as to question you about why you married him, be truthful. Say: "I don't measure my men from the top down; I measure them from the eyebrows up. And when you get to know my husband, I'm sure you'll also appreciate what a wonderful person he is."

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DEAR ABBY: I am a successful man with a great marriage, four terrific children -- all grown with professional careers -- and beautiful grandchildren. I am very close to all of them.

Before I married my wife -- while still in college 30 years ago -- I had a short affair with a young woman at school. I recently ran into her, and she informed me that I have another child -- a grown daughter I'll call "Eden." It was the first I'd heard of it. She never contacted me. I saw Eden, and she is the spitting image of my mother. I spoke to her, but I was still in shock and didn't know what to say. Her mother introduced me as "an old boyfriend."

I have been in contact with the mother since then. Although she doesn't want me to divulge "our secret," she did ask if I would give Eden a large amount of money. Our daughter is beautiful, has a doctorate and is doing well in her field.

I'm very sad. I love my family and all of my children. Of course, I told them about this. They are eager to meet their half-sister and would love her as well. What would be best for all concerned here? -- SAD DAD

DEAR SAD DAD: A secret is no longer a secret when more than two people know it -- and right now the number is up to seven. If Eden is doing well, why does she need your money? Could it be her mother is after it? Who has Eden been led to believe was her father all of these years? She should be told the truth, if only so she will have an accurate family medical history.

As I see it, Eden is mature, educated, and can handle the truth. However, before writing any checks -- large or small -- I urge you to discuss this entire scenario with your lawyer.

DEAR ABBY: I recently attended a family funeral at which one of my relatives brought his dog. It wasn't a service dog, Abby, just a regular house dog. It was everywhere the family was -- the funeral home, the service, even at the church dinner.

This relative lives in the same town where the funeral was held, so it wasn't an issue of leaving the dog at home for an extended period of time. I understand that some people treat their dogs like people, but I think taking a pet to a funeral pushes the limits. -- DOGGONE UPSET IN KANSAS

DEAR UPSET: I agree. However, if the person who officiated at the funeral didn't object to the potential disruption, then who am I to cast the first bone?

DEAR ABBY: I have been reading your column for many years, but I have never before been tempted to write to you until now. About a year ago we moved into a new home in a nice neighborhood. One of the last homes sold happens to be on our street.

Yesterday, a flier was stuck in our mailbox. I don't know how many of them were distributed, but there are 200 homes in our subdivision. The flier announced an open house. It listed all the usual stuff -- time and place -- with the following statement: "If you would like to bless us with a gift, we would greatly appreciate a gift card from one of the following stores: Home Depot, Wal-Mart, Lowe's, Best Buy, Sears or JCPenney."

We were flabbergasted to get such an "invitation" from someone we don't even know. What do you think about it, and how would you handle this? -- FLABBERGASTED IN SEFFNER, FLA.

DEAR FLABBERGASTED: I think your new neighbors have elevated the "gimmes" to a whole new level. And I would treat it exactly the same way I'd treat any other unwelcome solicitation.

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