DEAR ABBY: In January, the American Cancer Society reported that cancer deaths had dropped for the second year in a row. The study noted that there was a big decline in colorectal cancer mortality. This is great news, Abby, but we can't rest on these laurels.

The decline in colon cancer deaths is largely attributed to early detection, which is why it's so important for those 50 and over to get tested. I need your help in continuing to get the word out about the importance of getting tested for colorectal (commonly known as "colon") cancer.

Just as every woman knows that breast cancer screening saves lives, every man and woman should know that colon cancer screening also saves lives. Starting at age 50, men and women -- regardless of their family history -- should talk with their doctors about their testing options for this deadly disease.

Getting tested can stop colon cancer before it starts because the tests enable doctors to detect and remove hidden growths (called "polyps") before they can become cancerous. The tests can also detect cancer in an early stage. When found at its earliest, most treatable stage, colon cancer has a 90 percent survival rate!

March is National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month. I hope your readers will become more aware of the need to be tested and discuss it with their doctors as well as friends and loved ones who should be tested. Thanks for your help, Abby. -- RICHARD C. WENDER, M.D., PRESIDENT, AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY

DEAR DR. WENDER: You're welcome. And thank you for your important and timely reminder, which proves the truth of the saying, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." Because colon cancer is one of those "silent" diseases that can take hold before a person realizes he or she is in trouble, it's vital that men and women be checked for it on a regular basis.

Some good news: Medicare now covers all the tests for colon cancer. New Medicare beneficiaries within the first six months of enrollment can learn more about these tests by taking advantage of the "Welcome to Medicare" visit. It's an initial wellness physical exam that gives beneficiaries and physicians a chance to discuss health risk factors and schedule cancer screenings already covered by Medicare, including those for colon cancer.

As always, the American Cancer Society is there to help with a free information kit to assist readers in talking to their doctors about colon cancer testing. Let the society help you stop colon cancer before it starts by calling the toll-free number: (800) 227-2345.

DEAR ABBY: In one of my college classes, the professor was adamant about not clapping in the middle of a live theater performance. He said clapping interrupts the performers and should be done only at the end of each piece.

Yet every time I attend a concert or ballet, the audience claps after each dance, song or sometimes even a fancy move. What is proper etiquette at a live performance? -- LAUREN IN CAVE CREEK, ARIZ.

DEAR LAUREN: Ideally it would be preferable if the audience waited until "the fat lady sang" before starting the applause because not only can it distract the performer, it can also be annoying to other members of the audience. However, because applause is an expression of appreciation -- and often spontaneous -- it is impossible to control. (That's why some people avoid rock concerts.)

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband serves in the U.S. Army. I am a proud Army wife. Lately, more and more people are openly speaking out against the war in Iraq, as is their right. However, people are also speaking out against soldiers, and now, even their wives.

I was recently confronted by a message on MySpace. The writer, a woman, called Army wives everything in the book. I was heartbroken. She said we were all uneducated. (I have my degree in psychology.) She said we all just sit home and spend our husbands' money. I am a stay-at-home mom, but I do not ever get to sit.

She also stated that the Army paid us to have kids. This is not true, either. We do not get paid any more for having one child or seven. She said Army wives whine about missing their soldiers overseas and that it's not that dangerous -- you could die from any job. Not many wives outside the military have to go weeks without talking to their spouses and not knowing if they are OK. Jobs outside the military can be dangerous, yes, but people are not trying to harm them.

I just want people to know you can disagree with the war, with our leaders, with what happens in the world, but please do not group people together and look down on them. We military wives have it hard, but we keep things together the best we can. Our men fight for the rights some people take for granted. Please keep that in mind. -- KATRINA IN FAYETTEVILLE, N.C.

DEAR KATRINA: Although many people are against the war in Iraq, and it is their right to speak openly about it, that does not give anyone the right to scapegoat the wives of the people who are fighting there. Scapegoating any group reveals more about the ignorance of the person doing it than the target of the nastiness.

Just because something appears on the Internet does not mean that it is true or factual. There is a lot of misinformation floating around out there, and the statements you quoted in your letter are part of it.

I am pleased to help you get the message across. But please do not stop with me. Spread the word on any site you feel the need to -- and that includes MySpace.

DEAR ABBY: My son is an adult alcoholic and drug addict. He recently got in trouble with the law, and ran before sentencing. He has one child. My son is in contact with me.

My friend said I should use tough love and not talk to him or send him money until he gets his act straightened out and comes and faces the music. He is staying with his child's mother.

What is your opinion, Abby? I don't know what to do! My health is not good. (I am on oxygen.) Please help me. -- TOTALLY LOST IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR TOTALLY LOST: It is time your (adult) son grew up and accepted responsibility for his actions. Sending him money and hiding him from the law isn't really helping him, and it makes you an accessory to his crime. So please, listen to your friend and stop sending money -- but do talk to him and let him know he cannot hide from the law forever, so it's time for him to come clean.

DEAR ABBY: Just a note to ask the people who make clothing to help the public by putting a "B" or an "N" for "black" or "navy" on the label.

Wouldn't it be wonderful to just glance at the label and know if it's black or blue? Hope this will come to pass. -- CHARLOTTE IN MOBILE, ALA.

DEAR CHARLOTTE: You can make it come to pass. All you need to do is put a "B" or an "N" on the label of the garment with an indelible marking pen after you purchase it.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My sister, "Jane," and I are both in our mid-50s. Jane has had numerous affairs over the past several years after her third divorce, and was involved in an "intimate relationship" with a terrific man, "Will," that lasted about three months. Jane broke up with Will several months after she decided he wasn't what she was looking for, and she's presently engaged to be married to a very nice man ("Sam") and seems very happy.

I dated Will several times before he and Jane became involved. We weren't intimate at that time, and we started seeing each other again over the last month. This time we have fallen in love.

My problem is Jane is upset that Will and I are together and says I have "betrayed" her. She is worried about having her former and current lovers present at family gatherings, and our parents are also concerned. They say it's "just weird." The fact that my sister was intimate with Will doesn't bother me or Will, but it sure bothers them.

Abby, I have always been the "good girl" in the family and bowed under their pressure, but my relationship with Will is more than I could have ever imagined, and I don't want to give up my future happiness just to make my sister and my parents more comfortable. My adult children have all met and approve of Will and our relationship, but Jane and my parents won't budge. Any suggestions? -- WANTS WILL IN WALLA WALLA, WASH.

DEAR WANTS WILL: Perhaps it's time to stop being the "good girl," begin acting like a woman who knows what she wants, and confront the double standard in your family. If your sister was "sophisticated" enough to have serial affairs, and your parents have been so worldly they have turned a blind eye to it, then they should all be adult enough to realize that you are entitled to your happiness, too.

Although this may make for some awkward first few family gatherings, as grown-ups, everyone should be able to get past it. But if they can't, you are going to have to decide whether you want this man, or to be a people-pleaser for the rest of your life.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 48-year-old woman who lives with her fiance. My mother doesn't like him because she thinks he is not taking care of me in the manner to which SHE feels I should be taken care of.

My fiance is a former felon with nine convictions. He served his time, is now off parole -- free and clear -- and is attending college full time. He has not found a job yet, but he does odd jobs to help around the house. This is causing a rift between my mom and me. What can I do? -- CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE: If I were you, I would make it a long engagement. Because you did not mention what your fiance has been convicted of, nine times over, it is hard to determine whether he will ever manage to get a job and do more than help you around the house. If that is still all right with you a few years down the road, then who am I to say you should live differently? But please don't blame your mother for wanting you to have, at the very least, an equal partner.

CONFIDENTIAL TO MY IRISH READERS:

"May the most you wish for be the least you get.

"May the best times you've ever had be the worst you will ever see."

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)