DEAR ABBY: I just made the biggest career mistake of my life. I was working for a wonderful company. Then a former co-worker told me about a management position opening at the agency she went to work for. I thought it would be my golden opportunity for advancement. I submitted my resume and, after two interviews, got the job.

The problem: This is the unfriendliest company I have ever seen. Management belittles staff. Praise is seldom given. There is no kindness, no "good mornings" uttered -- the people here are just plain MEAN.

I am a friendly, outgoing person, and I'm having a hard time adapting. I miss my old job. I realize now that I made a hasty decision, and I don't know what to do. My old position has been filled, so there's no way I can go back. What should I do? -- RELUCTANT MANAGER IN VERMONT

DEAR RELUCTANT MANAGER: Your predicament proves the truth of the saying, "The grass isn't always greener." For the sake of your mental health, start looking for another job. There is no way you are going to change the corporate culture in the place you're now working.

Don't discount your old workplace; stay in touch. Something may open up there, and your former colleagues may be glad to welcome you back.

DEAR ABBY: Help! I am engaged to a man with three kids -- a 7-year-old girl and 9-year-old twin boys -- and soon to become a stepmom. He has them about half the time.

The family all believe their biological mother is failing miserably, and I feel as though they view me as a suitable substitute. I like his children, but I have three of my own. One is grown; two are teenagers. I see the light at the end of the tunnel and do not want to start over again raising someone else's kids.

Can I marry this man and not have to raise his kids? Or is that what a stepmother does? I would be happy just being their friend. -- UNCERTAIN STEPMOM IN NEW ENGLAND

DEAR UNCERTAIN: Although you would be happy just being their friend, at their ages and with the biological mother "failing miserably," face it: There will be plenty of mothering going on. Of course you will have a hand in raising those children -- it goes with the territory. If that's not what you are willing to sign on for, you should not marry him. Sorry.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Lee," and I have been married two years and have kept all of our finances separate, including having different auto insurance policies.

While I was away on a business trip, Lee moved my car and parked it in our circular driveway. Subsequently, a tree limb broke and dented my car's trunk.

I was extremely distressed that damage was done to my car when I wasn't even in the vicinity. I feel that, as a minimum, Lee should pay half of my car's deductible. He refuses because he says it was an act of nature.

Obviously neither of us was directly to blame, but I truly believe he should pay half the deductible because he moved my car in the first place. What do you think? -- OUT ON A LIMB IN GEORGIA

DEAR OUT ON A LIMB: I see the logic. However, it depends on why your husband moved your car. If Lee moved it because it was street-cleaning or trash collection day, then he should not be penalized. However, if he moved it on a whim, he should fork over his half of the deductible.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: To say I am upset is an understatement. I have a terrible problem. My wife of 22 years, "Verna," was recently sentenced to 15 years in prison. Verna, you see, always programmed our VCR. As a result, I have no idea how to record my favorite sporting events.

I begged my daughter to show me how to operate the darned thing, but she's still mad at me because when she asked me if her blue blazer made her look fat, I replied: "No, I don't think your blazer makes you look fat. It's those double cheeseburgers you've been scarfing down two at a time that make you look so fat."

I'm thinking maybe if I run a personal ad in my local paper I could meet a nice lady and get my mind off all the sports I'm missing on TV. Here's how I plan to word it: "SWM seeking single female with lots of money and a fast car. Race, age and looks unimportant. Please send picture of car."

I know you get hundreds of letters every day with the same exact problems that I have, but please tell me what to do. -- APRIL FOOL FROM FORT SMITH, ARK.

DEAR APRIL FOOL: People often ask me if I get made-up letters, and in honor of April Fools' Day, I am printing yours.

By the way, forget about the personal ad. You have enough family problems already without revving up anyone else's engine.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 13, and I have a problem with my parents. They have been having sex. That's not the problem, except for the fact that they don't wait for me to fall asleep before doing it. Tonight they had sex before saying goodnight! How do I confront them about this? -- FREAKED OUT IN ALAMEDA, CALIF.

DEAR FREAKED OUT: Tonight at dinner, say, "Mom, Dad, I think it's time we talked about the facts of life. The first fact of life is, I'm not deaf."

DEAR READERS: The following poem was written by a longtime reader, the late Jean Wells Rogers. In March of 2002, I printed a poem she had penned titled, "Old-Timer's Bedtime," which contained the heart-warming lines: "We're old and we're wrinkled, but why should we mind? We sleep like two trees -- our branches entwined."

Today, I'm sharing another one of her treasures because it is both timely and relevant. Enjoy!

APRIL 1

No one goes hungry

All people are fed

The oceans are clean

Lake Erie's not dead.

The Irish aren't fighting

The Arabs love Jews

The swords are now plowshares

Now ain't that good news?

The water's delicious

The air is so clear

On top of a mountain

You see to next year.

Couples stay married

Children are jewels

Sure got you going!

APRIL FOOLS!

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Jim," a single father of an 18-year-old son and a 13-year-old daughter, "Jenna." The girl is very close to her parents to the point that she sleeps with them. On nights she's with Jim, she shares a bed with him. Jim and his ex have been divorced since Jenna was 2. She shared their bed while they were married.

I no longer bring up the subject. I guess you could say Jim and I have agreed to disagree. However, I don't think a 13-year-old girl should be sharing a bed with her father. To put it bluntly, it gives me the creeps.

Jenna also shares her father's master bedroom and closet with him as if she were his wife. Please understand, this girl has a lavish bathroom of her own connected to a princess-style bedroom that contains everything a girl could ever wish for. Space is not the problem. When she visits, she never sets foot in her own room or bathroom.

I haven't said anything to Jenna because I don't want to upset her, but I think it's inappropriate for Jim to continue allowing her to sleep with him. Should I let it go? I have voiced my opinion before, and it has caused several heated arguments. What are your thoughts on this? -- SLEEPING WITH ONE EYE OPEN IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR SLEEPING: Although it is common for some parents to share their bed with infants or toddlers, it is far less so for a father and his teenage daughter. Jenna is no longer a child, and frankly, to continue this practice is inappropriate and potentially stimulating for both of them.

Clip this column and share it with Jim. Perhaps it will help him to rethink his stance on this.

DEAR ABBY: I consider myself a relatively "normal" female. Although I'm a little reserved, I can usually open up to new people. But I have one problem I'm afraid will cripple my chances in dating -- talking on the phone. My mind goes completely blank, and those terrible, awkward silences slowly stretch ...

In person, I can read expressions, and it's easier for me to communicate. But in this day and age we exchange phone numbers first, and then -- maybe -- date. However, before we even have a chance to sit face-to-face, I'm discounted.

Please help me. Is there any way I can be a better conversationalist on the phone so I don't wind up an old maid? -- PHONE-PHOBIC IN TOPEKA

DEAR PHONE-PHOBIC: Not everyone is comfortable making small talk on the phone. Instead of trying to fill up the "empty space" with prattle, why not be up front about it? When someone you have given your phone number to calls, talk for a few minutes, then say: "You know, I hate talking on the phone. Let's meet for a cup of coffee." That way you can put your best foot forward and show your attributes to greater advantage.

DEAR ABBY: How old do I have to be before I can begin telling my relatives exactly what I think of them? I am sick and tired of being polite to these low-lifes! I want to give them a piece of my mind before I leave this Earth. I am presently 67 years old. -- BITING TONGUE IN ZEPHYRHILLS, FLA.

DEAR BITING: I don't know how old your relatives are, but if they're older than you are, you had better hurry.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)