DEAR ABBY: As you know, most women invest a lot of time in addition to money so they can look and feel beautiful.

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration's Office of Women's Health would like to encourage women to get the most out of their health and beauty products by taking the time to read the directions and following them properly. Our message to women is, "Take Time to Care About ... Health and Beauty."

In celebration of National Women's Health Week (May 11 to May 17), we are offering a free Health and Beauty Kit that includes tools for making informed choices about the cosmetics and other products women use every day. This collection of fact sheets is available in English and Spanish, and is an example of how the FDA has been working to promote the safe use of health and beauty products ever since the landmark Food, Drug and Cosmetic Act was signed in 1938.

Please let your readers know about this opportunity. The information will be sent to them without charge. This effort has already been paid for with taxpayer dollars, including postage and handling. -- KATHLEEN UHL, M.D., ASSISTANT COMMISSIONER FOR WOMEN'S HEALTH

DEAR KATHLEEN: I'm pleased to pass the word along, and congratulations for 70 years of progress on cosmetic safety. Your Health and Beauty Kit is informative, and I'm sure readers will find the tips and easy-to-read materials on cosmetics, contact lenses (and more) of interest.

For the quickest service, the kits should be ordered online at � HYPERLINK "http://www.pueblo.gsa.gov" ��www.pueblo.gsa.gov�. If you do not have online access, send your name and address to Health/Beauty Information Kit, Pueblo, CO 81009, or call toll-free: (888) 878-3256, 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. Eastern Time, Monday through Friday, and ask for the Health and Beauty Information Kit. Readers, order your kit today because quantities are limited.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I haven't lived here very long. Our only company is a dear friend, "Sid," who lives nearby. I love to entertain and have guests over, so naturally I invite Sid to dinner quite often.

My problem is Sid never arrives on time for a meal. I usually have to tell him dinner will be ready an hour earlier than it really will be, so he'll show up before it is finished cooking.

I take pride in having everything ready at once for a large meal. When I must keep things warm for an hour or more extra, it not only ruins the mood but the food dries out. At Easter we had Sid over and told him dinner would be at 1 p.m. When I called him at 1:30, he told me he hadn't even showered or shaved yet to come over.

Is there a polite way to show my frustration at Sid's lack of punctuality, or should I stop inviting him to join us for meals? I don't want to be rude. -- FRUSTRATED IN THE KITCHEN

DEAR FRUSTRATED: By all means stop inviting Sid for meals. Instead, invite him for leftovers, and if he asks why, do not be shy about explaining (politely, of course). And, because you love to entertain, I'm advising you to join some service organizations so you can widen your circle of friends.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 38-year-old woman. My fiance of five years, "Troy," and I live together and are the parents of a 5-month-old baby girl.

We have been going out recently to dance at our favorite club, but every time we go, Troy disappears and leaves me with his best friend -- sometimes up to five hours at a time.

The club has several stories, with many secluded nooks, so Troy is hard to find. When I finally locate him, he's sweaty and has a weird look on his face. When I ask where he was and why he disappeared, I get no answers.

His friend covers for him. My fiance and I have never had a night out without this guy coming with us, and I'm tired of Troy's disappearing act. Something is going on.

He calls me paranoid, but I think if you leave your fiancee every time you go out, something is not right.

Am I being paranoid? Or does he have someone stashed in the club waiting for him? By the way, I make most of the money and pay for the nights out. -- SUSPICIOUS IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR SUSPICIOUS: Obviously something is up -- another woman, or possibly your fiance is using drugs -- and his best friend is there to make sure you don't find out. I hope you don't actually plan to marry this man, because he does not appear to be financially or emotionally ready for marriage. In fact, it appears he's happy as things are -- with you as his meal ticket.

However, to settle your curiosity, the next time you plan to go dancing, ask a girlfriend to come to the club separately and spend the evening tracking Troy. That should give you a clear picture of what has been going on behind the scenes.

DEAR ABBY: I have the most annoying laugh. It goes from a cackle to a loud screech. I have lost friends over this because people don't enjoy being seen in public with me. Is there anything I can do to solve this problem? -- KRISTEN IN WAYNE, N.J.

DEAR KRISTEN: It is possible to modulate one's laughter, as it is one's speaking voice. It takes practice and discipline, but it can be done.

However, there is much to be said for a genuine, spontaneous, hearty laugh. And those who would end a friendship because they don't want to be seen in public with you are shallow. So perhaps you should reconsider whether you want to be seen with THEM.

DEAR ABBY: I was recently invited to a friend's house for the weekend. As I prepared to retire for the night, I realized that the sheets were not clean.

I looked for another set of sheets to change the bed, but couldn't find any. It was late, my hostess had gone to bed and -- needless to say -- I didn't have a great night's sleep. I didn't want to embarrass her, but I didn't want to sleep on a soiled bed. How would you have handled this? -- SLEEPLESS IN COLORADO

DEAR SLEEPLESS: I would have slept on the bedspread or outside the covers, and in the morning I would have asked my hostess for fresh sheets "because the last guest forgot to change the linen."

CONFIDENTIAL TO PAULINE PHILLIPS, MY DARLING MOTHER: A Happy Mother's Day from your firstborn. You are in my heart, my thoughts and my prayers today and every day.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I was taught that when you don't know a person's political affiliation, it is impolite to discuss politics, especially if it involves disparaging others (name-calling, putting down political candidates, etc.).

I am often approached by people seeking agreement with their views. They make insulting comments regarding the political views of others and then say, "Right?" This makes me terribly uncomfortable, so I often say nothing, which only further fuels them to continue their negative diatribes.

How do I stop these political assaults and let them know I find it rude without being rude myself? -- WANTS TO BE POLITE IN COLORADO

DEAR WANTS TO BE POLITE: There is nothing impolite about saying, "You know, this topic of conversation is making me uncomfortable. Can we please change it?" And if the person persists, it is also not impolite to excuse yourself because you have some previous business to attend to. And that's what I'm advising you to do, because to stand and listen implies agreement.

DEAR ABBY: As Mother's Day approaches, please remind your readers to appreciate and SPEND TIME with their mothers while they are on this Earth. This year, Mother's Day will mark exactly one year since my dear, sweet mother died in my home. She had been living in a nursing home for more than two years, suffering from dementia, but got pneumonia. I brought her to my home from the hospital for the last two weeks of her life.

I am left with so many "what ifs" and "I should haves," but I did the best I could with what I knew then. I saw so many patients in the nursing home who seldom -- if ever -- had any visitors, it made me sick.

I just want everyone to take time in their busy lives to devote to their parents while they are still here. I am grateful that God gave us those last two weeks with Mom. I feel she knew where she was, and it brought all of us peace. There were too many times I was "too busy" with my family. Please just be there for your mom or dad. -- WISHING MOM WERE HERE, IN EAU CLAIRE, WIS.

DEAR WISHING: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your dear mother. For you, Mother's Day will always carry with it a tinge of sadness. Please do not burden yourself further with "what ifs" and "should haves." Live in the moment. Regret is the cancer of life. When you visit the cemetery, you might find comfort in reciting the following prayer from the Hebrew Union Prayer Book:

"I remember thee in this solemn hour, my dear mother. I remember the days when thou didst dwell on earth, and thy tender love watched over me like a guardian angel. Thou hast gone from me, but the bond which unites our souls can never be severed; thine image lives within my heart. May the merciful Father reward thee for the faithfulness and kindness thou hast ever shown me; may he lift up the light of his countenance upon thee and grant thee eternal peace! Amen."

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are wondering if you could settle an etiquette question. We don't want our neighbors to hate us, so on Saturdays or Sundays, how early can we start using heavy lawn care equipment, like chain saws and wood chippers? -- SLEEPING IN FROM CALIFORNIA

DEAR SLEEPING IN: You're asking the wrong person. Ask your neighbors and see if you can arrange a time that is agreeable to all of you. But first check to see what the local noise ordinance dictates.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)