DEAR ABBY: My mother recently moved into a senior housing complex, which she loves. Now my mother-in-law, "Irene," has decided she wants to move there, too. The problem is, my mother does not want to live near Irene. Although Mom has always been nice to her, she has never liked her.

There are fewer than 50 apartments in the complex and only one dining area. Moving Mother elsewhere is out of the question because she signed a lease. Both Mom and Irene are in their 80s. I don't want to hurt my husband of 46 years or his mother. I feel like I'm ... IN A REAL PICKLE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR IN A PICKLE: Irene is eager to move into the complex because she has no doubt heard how much your mother loves living there and she probably doesn't know about any others. Your husband should encourage his mother to start looking around for an "even better" place. Surely after all these years, the fact that your mother isn't crazy about his won't devastate him. My advice is help Irene by scouting other locations right away.

P.S. She might be more open to the idea if your mother stopped bragging and started doing some complaining.

DEAR ABBY: Our nephew recently asked family members for money to help him go on a mission for his church. Apparently he is supposed to gather 50 sponsors to pay a "tax deductible" $50 to $100 per month for two years (via direct bill or credit card), according to the forms from his church.

We love our nephew and his parents, but we do not share their religious beliefs. And quite frankly, the request has upset more than a few members of the family because the amount requested is obviously not just to support the young man, but a way to support his church.

Help! How do we respond to such a "charitable" request? -- EMBARRASSED IN ARIZONA

DEAR EMBARRASSED: Respond by writing your nephew a sweet note wishing him well on his mission, and explaining that you do not feel comfortable donating. In no way are you obligated to fork over money -- via credit card or any other way -- and you should not feel embarrassed for declining to donate.

DEAR ABBY: My son, "Rick," is divorcing his wife of five years, "June." It is a painful process and sad not only for them, but also the extended family.

Over the last three years June has developed symptoms of paranoia to the extent that Rick can no longer go out with friends or office associates. She thinks he's having an affair -- which he is not. She checks his cell phone, reads his e-mails and has turned to alcohol for comfort.

I am relieved that June is now on medication for her symptoms, but the damage is done.

How should I respond to innocent inquiries as to how my son and his wife are doing? We have many friends who know them well. I'm hoping you can give me an appropriate response that will protect both of them until they're able to get their lives back on track. -- MOURNING IN IOWA

DEAR MOURNING: Allow me to suggest a couple: "Rick and June have decided to go their separate ways," or, "They're divorced." You are not obligated to give any more details than that, nor should you.

DEAR ABBY: I feel like my heart has been ripped out and stomped on. My 18-year-old daughter, "Emily," hooked up with a 27-year-old ex-convict ("Jerry") and had his baby three months ago. Although we disapproved of the relationship, we let him move into our home. A month later, I caught him with another girl and my daughter ended their relationship.

Last week, Emily announced that Jerry wants her back and has admitted all his wrongs. Abby, she wants us to let him move back in! My husband refuses to support them any longer. Emily has now chosen Jerry and says she is taking the baby, even though she has no place to go because he's still living with the other girl. Neither of them can afford an apartment.

I feel if I don't go along with it I am throwing my innocent grandchild out into the street, and it breaks my heart. Is tough love the right answer? -- CRYING IN VIRGINIA

DEAR CRYING: Yes, so call her bluff. Tough love would be better than allowing your daughter to blackmail you, which is what she's attempting to do. It's unlikely that Emily will wind up on the street.

I seriously doubt that Jerry will give up a sure thing and a roof over his head to build a life with your daughter. When she wakes up to that fact, I predict she'll be back on your doorstep -- so be prepared.

DEAR ABBY: My husband's grandson just graduated from the eighth grade. Because he lives in another part of the state we were unable to attend the graduation, but we sent him a graduation card with $5 enclosed.

My husband's daughter called to acknowledge the card "for" her son. Then she asked if my husband was having financial difficulties because he sent only $5 while some of her friends gave her son $50. She said we should have sent more. My husband was so shocked by her insensitivity that he hung up on her.

His daughter did not call or send a card on Father's Day. However, today we received a card from his grandson thanking us for the $5 and saying if we had dug deeper and added $1, he could have bought a slice of pizza.

Abby, how do we respond to these two? -- HURT GRANDPARENTS, ANAHEIM, CALIF.

DEAR HURT GRANDPARENTS: Unbelievable. Your husband was kind to send the boy anything in addition to the card. His daughter's response shows where her priorities are. I'll give her son this: He did acknowledge the gift -- but he should have stopped at thank you and omitted the snide remark.

How should the two of you respond? By keeping the lines of communication open and your wallet closed.

DEAR ABBY: I was raised to respect people's personal space, especially when standing in line. However, often when I stand in line patiently waiting my turn, I find the person behind me practically breathing down my neck. I keep telling myself to politely ask for space, but I can't muster the courage because I'm afraid they will think I'm rude. How can I ask for space without sounding rude? -- NEEDS MY SPACE IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR NEEDS YOUR SPACE: For heaven's sake, muster the courage. The last thing you need is a stranger standing behind you watching you enter a pin number on a debit card.

There is nothing nasty about turning around and saying that when someone stands too close it makes you uncomfortable and to please step back. Speaking up for yourself isn't rude. It's being assertive -- which is healthy when compared to feeling like a doormat.

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DEAR ABBY: I have been married for four weeks. Two weeks after my wedding I met a man who excites me and makes my heart race. My husband, "Mitch," and I dated for eight years prior to getting married. We're both 25.

I have only slept with one other man than Mitch in my entire life -- someone I cheated on him with for a couple of weeks. Mitch and I had dated for two years at that point, and I was only 19. Mitch never found out.

I have spent two nights with this new man. I think about him constantly -- at work and at night when Mitch is asleep. I can't get him off my mind, and he feels the same about me. But he tells me that he feels guilty, that what we're doing is wrong and I should forget about him.

My relationship with Mitch is boring. We spend a lot of time at home and don't go out much. Mitch goes to bed early, and I'm tempted to leave and go see this other man. What do I do? -- MARRIED, BUT ...

DEAR MARRIED, BUT ...: I suspect you already know what you need to do. First, level with your husband. Then see if you can have the marriage annulled because, although it has lasted only a month, it is already over.

DEAR ABBY: I have begun dating a man I'll call "Tom." Things seem to be going well. Tom has met my son -- they get along beautifully -- and we're starting to meet each other's families.

For my son's sake, I have stayed in fairly close contact with my ex's parents. They have asked on more than one occasion when they can meet my new boyfriend, but I haven't given them a straight answer because, honestly, I don't want them to meet Tom. Since I started dating again, I have been trying hard to put my past behind me, and that includes my ex and his family. To do otherwise would be bad for me. What should I do? -- MOVING ON IN DULUTH

DEAR MOVING ON: If you and Tom become more serious, at some point he is going to meet your son's grandparents.

If there is something that you are ashamed of, I think you should have a frank talk with Tom and lay your cards on the table before he finds out from someone else. Unless there's a court order preventing your ex from seeing his son, I doubt that you will be able to keep these two parts of your life completely separate.

DEAR ABBY: My divorce became final two months ago and several people have congratulated me. Abby, the last thing I ever wanted was to be another divorce statistic, but my ex-husband committed a heinous crime for which he will pay for the rest of his life. While I know I'm better off without him, what I would have preferred was for the circumstances not to have happened in the first place!

I am trying to get my life back on track, but it isn't easy. And it doesn't help when some insensitive person offers "congratulations." They don't seem to understand that the subject is painful. I have said, "Please don't say that," but what else can I say? Please advise your readers to offer condolences instead. -- UNHAPPILY DIVORCED ON THE EAST COAST

DEAR DIVORCED: I'm passing your message along. However, when someone makes an inappropriate comment, instead of saying, "Please don't say that," try this: "Please don't bring that subject up again. All it does is make me sad."