DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Eric," and I are newlyweds. Several months ago, with a little coaxing, I shared my previous "history" with him. I used graphic terms and went into great detail. Eric found it extremely exciting, and we both benefited from it.

Recently, Eric mentioned how great it would be if I contacted one of my past lovers to push the envelope of passion even further. I agreed. My dinner date with the old flame was actually quite fun, with talk of the past. Eric thrilled at my description of the "date." His suggestion that I go out with my old beau and "enjoy myself" as I had when I was single, however, left me hurt and somewhat uncomfortable.

Eric hinted that a new "story" would take things to another level. He's completely OK with it, not at all jealous. I said I wasn't sure, but I'd consider it. What do you think? -- MRS. R. IN ILLINOIS

DEAR MRS. R.: Some "envelopes" should remain sealed. Think long and hard before embarking on the path toward which your husband is leading you. Is this really the kind of marriage you signed up for? How would you feel about Eric looking up old flames and reporting back to you?

Frankly, I think you're being pushed in the wrong direction. The result could very well be that you end up feeling used and degraded.

DEAR ABBY: I want to help my son and grandchildren. His current wife moved out, taking their two little ones with her. His other three children from his first wife still live with him. They are upset about this and can't understand why they have been abandoned by their stepmom -- just as they were by their birth mother. The little boy is taking it the hardest.

How can I help my grandchildren understand that this isn't their fault? -- HEARTBROKEN GRANDMA IN TEXAS

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: If you and your son's second wife are on speaking terms, ask her to contact your grandchildren and explain that grown-ups sometimes can no longer live together, and they need to remain with their father. She should also tell them that her leaving has absolutely nothing to do with them.

If the children continue to have ongoing abandonment issues, they should be seen by a therapist who can help them put those issues to rest. All you can do is love your grandchildren and be there for them as much as possible.

DEAR ABBY: I work in the corporate office of a major airline and communicate with many employees throughout the country. I do a lot of traveling, both for business and for pleasure, and when I do, I encounter a lot of our employees who recognize me and say hello as I travel through their stations.

My problem is, I have a difficult time remembering names, and on occasion, recognizing faces. I'm embarrassed when this happens, and I don't know what to say. What's the best way to respond to someone who recognizes me, even though I don't recognize him or her? -- RED-FACED IN WASHINGTON

DEAR RED-FACED: How about this? Smile at the person and say, "Hi! It's nice to see you." And let the person who recognized you take it from there.

DEAR ABBY: "Grinched in Iowa" (April 14) was upset that his girlfriend gave his Valentine roses to a stranger after he spent more than $82 on them. Several years ago, when my father was ill with cancer, he sent a beautiful bouquet of flowers to my mother. When I saw them, I commented on how pretty they were and, half-jokingly, asked if they wanted to make another person as happy as they had made my mom. I explained that my friend Patty was having a hard time coping with the fact her dad and mother-in-law both had cancer. My parents said, "Take them!"

Patty burst into tears when she saw me arrive with the flowers. I think "Grinched" should quit being such a grouch and be thankful for having a compassionate, caring girlfriend. -- SHELLEY IN MUSKEGON, MICH.

DEAR SHELLEY: Thank you for reminding me to "smell the roses." While I sympathized, in part, with "Grinched," readers' responses heavily favored his girlfriend. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Whether that guy spent $8 or $82, the flowers will die in a week. Sending flowers is an expression of love, and it is the ACT that brings joy to the recipient. Whether the bouquet or the memory of his generosity continues to bring joy is immaterial. He should be thrilled to have a girlfriend who is so full of love and joy she wanted to share that feeling and bring the same happiness to another couple.

"Grinch's" girlfriend should now decide if she wants to be with a guy who is more concerned about the money than the sentiment. -- PEEVED WITH HIM IN CANADA

DEAR ABBY: "Grinched's" girlfriend is too dumb to have thought about what you suggested. ("She could have given the stranger one or two of the roses ...") He should drop her quicker than petals drop from a rose! -- JON IN ST. PAUL, MINN.

DEAR ABBY: You should have set "Grinched" straight instead of coddling him. If he had any brains he would have married his girlfriend on the spot. Any woman who is so selfless she would give her gift to another person in need is someone he should hang onto and never let go. Perhaps he is too blind and emotionally insecure to realize this loving woman would treat HIM the same way. -- RANDY IN TROY, MICH.

DEAR ABBY: Maybe she was trying to tell him she did not want any roses. Could it be time for a ring? -- JILL IN EUGENE, ORE.

DEAR ABBY: "Grinched's" gift did what it was supposed to do -- show his girlfriend he cared. When the roses were passed along to another person, his gift benefited three people instead of just one. In this day and age, we need more kindness. -- LISA IN AKRON, OHIO

DEAR ABBY: The roses had already served their purpose. The girlfriend was able to see how much he cared for her, as were her co-workers. (Why else would he send them to her at work?) Once she took them home, the roses would have sat in a vase until it was time to throw them out. Instead, they brought joy a second time, and she proved herself to be a compassionate, sensitive person who knew how to embrace the true spirit of Valentine's Day. -- MAUREEN IN MANCHESTER, N.H.

DEAR ABBY: Roses: $82. Groceries: $37. A relationship with someone who would reach out with concern to someone in need: Priceless! -- HARLEY IN LAS CRUCES, N.M.

DEAR ABBY: Please remind parents and teenagers that it is "cool" to wear a helmet when riding bikes and skateboards. A child in our town died recently after suffering a head injury, and we have just received word that the son of a close friend (age 23) has started having seizures because of a head injury he suffered as a teen after falling from a skateboard.

I had my grandson decorate his helmet. All his friends thought it looked great, and that made it "cool" to wear it. With summer here and kids outside, wearing a helmet cannot be stressed enough. -- VIGILANT GRANDMA OUT WEST

DEAR GRANDMA: You are not only a vigilant grandma, but also a clever one. Falls are common among bike riders, skateboarders, Rollerbladers, and those who drive and ride all-terrain vehicles. According to the Traumatic Brain Injury Recovery Network, an estimated 7 million Americans seek medical care every year for injuries sustained during sports or recreation-related activities, an estimated 4.3 million of whom are treated in emergency rooms. The highest rates of sports- and recreation-related injuries are among adolescents 10 to 14 years of age.

When a child's head hits cement, wood or hard-packed dirt, the result can be a traumatic injury that leads to concussion, permanent brain injury or even death. That is why children who participate in sports should be strongly encouraged to wear protective headgear at all times.

DEAR ABBY: Some friends who live out of state just left, after inviting themselves to stay at our home while they attended to family business. We live in a town with many hotels. We enjoy their company, but when we visited them last year, we stayed at their bed and breakfast (at their invitation) and were charged $175 a night even though there were empty rooms at their inn.

My wife says I should shut up, but I feel used. Your thoughts? -- MIFFED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR MIFFED: Your feelings are accurate. You welcomed this couple as friends; they welcomed you as paying guests. Now that you know this about them, treat them accordingly. The next time they invite themselves to your home, tell them you'd love to visit with them while they're in town and refer them to a hotel.

P.S. If this has happened more than once, it could only be because you allowed it.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 42-year-old mother of three, married to my husband for 15 years. I am active in my church and community and live a good, decent life.

My 20th college reunion is coming up in September. I lived a wild life in college, drank too much and was promiscuous. I would like to attend the reunion with my husband, who is also an alumnus. While I will love seeing old friends, I feel apprehensive because I will be among some people I once had relations with.

Abby, I am not the same person I was back then. Part of me wants to go to the reunion to show that I have changed. My husband is aware of my past and accepts it. Should I go? -- DIFFERENT NOW IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR DIFFERENT NOW: Go! I'm sure you won't be the only person there who was "wild" when you were younger. Show up, have a good time, and let bygones be bygones.