DEAR ABBY: I have been married for many years to a man who is a good husband and father in many respects. However, he is obsessed with professional sports, especially football. It is affecting our home and social life.

Over the years, "Louie" has punched holes in walls and broken the bones in his hands because he became so angry when his favorite team lost. He also has strong hatred toward rival teams. His arguments with people with opposing opinions have cost him friendships.

His behavior is so annoying and embarrassing the kids and I don't want to be around him on Sundays during games. What's worse is that some of Louie's friends are amused by his tantrums and egg him on, making him even angrier. Fortunately, he never hits anyone.

I don't want a divorce, but I don't want to be around Louie, either. Louie's "problem" makes him unpleasant to be around. When I visit friends and family without him, they wonder if we're separated. If he could shrug off people's comments and realize the outcome of a game shouldn't affect him, we could be happier. What should I do? -- BAD SPORT IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR BAD SPORT: It's time you, your children and anyone else who cares at all about your husband stage an intervention and point out to Louie that there are more important things in life than his favorite football team. Chief among them is learning impulse control so he doesn't do further harm to his body and his relationships. It's one thing to feel passion for a sport, but he is creating a situation where he doesn't enjoy it.

What you have described is not normal, or healthy. He has crossed the line and is risking harm to his family, his relationships and his reputation. This is beyond "kooky" -- it's a little bit sick, and the person who needs to step in is you.

DEAR ABBY: I went through a difficult depression during the time I was pregnant with my daughter. As a result, I seriously considered placing her for adoption and kept the pregnancy hidden from friends and co-workers. During my third trimester I took a leave of absence and cut off contact with my friends completely.

Now, two years later, I'm happy to report that I received therapy and treatment for my depression and anxiety. I am living a happy life with my baby girl.

The problem is, I told no one outside my family about my daughter or the situation, even though everyone noticed my abrupt change in behavior. How do I begin to share my story? Will people be able to forgive me for cutting them out of my life during a difficult time? -- BEGINNING AGAIN WITH BABY IN TEXAS

DEAR BEGINNING AGAIN: Because of extreme cases in the news, most of us are familiar with the hormonal imbalance that causes postpartum depression. A condition called pre-partum depression is not as well known, but is also well-documented. I'm pleased you were able to get treatment and resolve yours.

Share your story -- and end your isolation -- by telling your closest friends about your experience. If they are truly friends and care about you, they will embrace and accept you and your daughter and give you the support you need after your illness. And if they don't -- then you will have to accept they are not true friends and go on with your life.

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DEAR ABBY: My mom died of an aneurysm 23 years ago. I was only 7. I occasionally hear an aunt or uncle talk about how much they loved her and miss her.

I moved in with an aunt when I was 5, due to abuse from my father. Two years later, my mom was gone. As kids, my brother and I never received counseling. We bounced from home to home and finally ended up in a stable environment with our grandma.

I usually feel guilty when people talk about my mom because I cannot relate. I tell myself that maybe God sacrificed her so I could have a good life. Sometimes, I feel more anger than love toward her because of the abuse and abandonment.

What am I supposed to feel about her? Can someone love a person they never knew? To be honest, I don't know how to feel about my mother. -- EMOTIONLESS IN OKLAHOMA CITY

DEAR EMOTIONLESS: It is very difficult to love someone you never knew. And from your description of your childhood, your feelings are understandable. However, because those feelings are bothering you and creating guilt, they should be discussed with a licensed professional. If you do, you will gain a better understanding not only of yourself, but also the dynamics in your family. You do not deserve to be carrying around any guilt at all.

DEAR ABBY: When people have a serious illness, their friends and family usually send "Get Well" messages and flowers to the hospital. Unfortunately, it isn't the custom to send supportive greetings and gifts to those who are dealing with psychiatric illnesses. These people deserve all of the attention and good wishes that other patients receive.

Please let it be known that psychiatric illnesses are treatable and recovery is possible. Support in all forms is essential in all patients' progress toward recovering from serious illness of any kind. -- KATHY IN UNIVERSAL CITY, TEXAS

DEAR KATHY: You make a good point. The reason some people may be hesitant to acknowledge someone's mental illness may be the stigma that's still attached to these kinds of problems. For that same reason, there may be a reluctance on the part of the patient's family to reveal there is a problem so serious their family member must be hospitalized.

But you're absolutely right. When people are ill, they need to know they're cared about -- and a card with warm good wishes is a step in the right direction.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 14 and have a big problem. My teacher, "Mrs. Smith," adores me. She is always calling on me and telling the class about all the things I'm doing correctly. After she does it, the other kids glare at me and call me "Teacher's Pet." It makes me uncomfortable, but I can't help it if Mrs. Smith likes me. What should I do? -- DON'T WANT TO BE TEACHER'S PET

DEAR DON'T: When a student excels at athletics, music or drama, it usually makes the boy or girl a celebrity on campus. Sadly, the same is often not true when a student excels at academics, and it's a shame. Because being used as an example is making you a target, ask your teacher to tone it down. And if it doesn't happen, have your mother speak to the teacher and/or the principal, if necessary.

DEAR ABBY: While standing in a checkout line yesterday, I witnessed a cashier speak to the older woman in front of me in a condescending manner. She kept calling her "Sweetie" and talking to her as if she were a 3-year-old. The woman was obviously offended, but said nothing.

I experienced this kind of behavior often when my mother was alive. Receptionists, waitresses, store clerks and others would direct their questions to me and talk to me while my mother stood there, perfectly capable of answering the questions herself. I'm sure these people did not intend to be rude or disrespectful. However, it was extremely annoying to both Mother and me.

Because a person is elderly does not mean he or she is senile. Regardless of their mental capacity, older people have earned the right to be treated with dignity and respect. -- OFFENDED IN KINGSPORT, TENN.

DEAR OFFENDED: I'm glad you wrote. I have seen it happen, too, and with people who should have known better. And when it did happen, the offender was sometimes called on it in a way that wasn't at all "sweet."

Readers, if this letter strikes a familiar chord, please remember that most senior citizens are completely in control of their faculties and treat them accordingly. (Or risk losing a customer.)

DEAR ABBY: At least two or three times a week, I receive requests for donations from various organizations. Many times the envelopes contain address labels, calendars and notepads. As much as I would like, I can't afford to donate to every cause. Is it wrong to use these "gifts" if I don't contribute? It's a shame to waste them -- especially the address labels. No one else can use them.

I'm sure I'm not the only person who struggles with this moral dilemma. I'd really like your input. -- FEELING GUILTY IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR FEELING GUILTY: The organizations that send those unsolicited mailings count on the recipients feeling so guilty that they'll send something. If using the unsolicited "gifts" makes you feel guilty, toss them or don't open the envelope in the first place.

Compile a list of those causes that you wish to give to, decide what amount you have to donate to all of them, divide the total and send your checks. And as you do, check them off your list to make sure you won't accidentally give twice because many (not all) organizations solicit more than once a year, hoping donors will forget they have given and send more.

DEAR ABBY: I am seeing a therapist for my depression. The problem is I find myself wanting to have sexual relations with him. I'm 23, and he's older than my father, who is 63! What's wrong with me? Obviously, I can't have an affair with my therapist, and I desperately do not want to change doctors. Please help. -- LOVESICK PATIENT IN MONTANA

DEAR LOVESICK: What's going on with you is very common. There is a name for it: transference. While this may be embarrassing to you, I assure you your therapist has heard it before. It's not necessary that you change doctors, but it is important that you be honest about your feelings. (Nobody ever said therapy was for the faint of heart!)

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