DEAR ABBY: "Heartbroken in New York" (March 8) expressed his concerns about his dog "Layla's" injuries after his son's friend "Isaac" tried to ride on the dog's back. He asked you whether he and his wife should inform Isaac's parents. You responded in the affirmative and stated Isaac's parents should be responsible for the damages to the dog.

I disagree. Dog owners are responsible for supervising their pets when children are present. Our dog Max, who I dearly loved and raised alongside our two children, was not by nature fond of children. Therefore, I never allowed him out of my sight when children were around. I supervised him constantly -- for the children's sakes as well as Max's.

"Heartbroken" was at least partly responsible because he decided to let Layla fend for herself around Isaac, "who doesn't have a dog." While what happened to the animal was extremely unfortunate, holding the other parents responsible for damages is unfair. -- A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE

DEAR DIFFERENT: Thank you for your perspective, which was repeated by many readers. I hope the following responses will serve as important reminders to pet owners. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: "Heartbroken" should invite Isaac and his parents over to see Layla with their own eyes so they can understand the extent of the dog's injuries. Isaac needs to learn that if he hurts another living creature, there will be consequences. Because his parents missed teaching their son this lesson, "Heartbroken" should do it. Childhood is not about being protected from essential life lessons; it's a time to learn how to become caring, responsible adults. -- LISA IN ALBUQUERQUE

DEAR ABBY: I found it disturbing that Layla was being kept on pain medication for "three weeks and is growing progressively worse." That family needs a new vet. X-rays and an MRI should have already been in the works. Yes, such procedures are expensive, but they are also necessary to assist our speechless friends. -- HEALING HEARTS IN NEW YORK DEAR ABBY: The responsibility for any damages caused by an unsuspecting child to the dog should be the owner's to bear. "Heartbroken" made a mistake by leaving Layla alone with the children. I always keep my pets near me when neighbors visit. It's my job to protect my pet. If "Heartbroken" had taken the time to set boundaries about playing with the dog, this might have been avoided. What's sad is that Layla is suffering for it. -- MARY IN JOHNSTOWN, PA.

DEAR ABBY: You suggested Layla's owners tell Isaac's parents to explain the mistake he made and that they should pay for the damages. There is another important reason for this lesson to be explained. If Isaac tried to ride on the back of a less tolerant dog, he could have been bitten and seriously injured. Even an otherwise gentle dog could interpret a "ride" as a threat and respond aggressively. Pet ownership requires accepting responsibility, and that includes educating those who don't know in order to prevent accidents or injuries. -- SAFETY FIRST FOR DOGS AND KIDS

DEAR ABBY: I'm sorry about the injury to that dog. But I guarantee that if the dog had bitten Isaac, his parents would be suing or demanding payment of all medical bills. It's a sad day for all. -- GARRY IN DAYTON, OHIO

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DEAR ABBY: I work in a dental office. My boss (the doctor) and his assistant have a problem keeping their pants up. Every time either of them reaches for something or, God forbid, bends over -- they flash their backsides. It's just bad, and both of them are pretty good-sized men.

My boss is the kindest, most generous person I know. But frankly, this is an embarrassment for patients and co-workers alike. Something has to be done. Any suggestions to help us with this problem would be greatly appreciated. -- EMBARRASSED FOR EVERYONE, TOWANDA, PA.

DEAR EMBARRASSED: The doctor and his assistant may be unaware of the show to which they are treating everyone. You say this is not only embarrassing for the employees but also the patients. Have any of them complained about it to you? If so, you have your opening to transmit that message to Dr. Derriere.

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend, "Gil," for three years. We bought a house together six months ago. Prior to that, we had a discussion about the future. Gil told me he wanted to get married and have kids.

I expected a marriage proposal over the holidays. When it didn't happen, I asked him what he was waiting for. His response broke my heart. He said he no longer wants to get married. Gil says he loves me, I'm his "best friend," he is willing to move forward and have children -- but not get married.

I'm not sure how I feel about his arrangement. I am depressed and don't know what to do. For me, Gil is "The One" - - the love of my life. I feel like a failure and a fool for allowing myself to get into this situation. Please help me. -- WEDDING BELL BLUES IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR WEDDING BELL BLUES: I don't blame you for feeling depressed and confused. The person you thought was The One led you on and convinced you to make a major investment under false pretenses. You should not have children with him under these circumstances. Before this goes any further and you feel even worse about yourself, I'm advising you to consult a lawyer about extricating yourself from this bad business deal. You're not the failure. He is.

DEAR ABBY: I played matchmaker for a girlfriend and introduced her to a buddy of mine from work. Two years later, he was arrested for molesting her children, and I just found out he'd had a record for this! She is no longer speaking to me. What do I do? -- REGRETFUL IN OREGON

DEAR REGRETFUL: All you can do is apologize -- which I presume you have already done. Although you were well-intended when you made the introduction, it implied that you were giving him your endorsement. However, you should not have been expected to have done a background check on him -- that was your friend's responsibility as the mother of young children. And she may be madder at herself for not doing so than she is at you.

DEAR READERS: This Friday, April 22, is Earth Day. It offers all of us a chance to do something positive for the planet. Many parents use it as an opportunity to bond with their children by sharing in a project, and some schools offer credit to students who participate (hint, hint). So check your local newspapers and go online to find ways you can help in your community.

DEAR ABBY: Large numbers of veterans are returning home with a wide range of psychological difficulties, many struggling with severe physical injuries or traumatic brain injuries. One in 10 soldiers reports mental health problems, while 30 percent of U.S. troops develop serious mental health problems within three to four months of coming home.

Post-traumatic stress is a natural human reaction to horrific experiences. The symptoms of PTSD are greatly reduced if appropriate treatment is provided quickly to those in need. Individuals who suffer from traumatic brain injuries also experience consequences such as anxiety, depression, substance abuse and marital difficulties. And children whose parents suffer from PTSD are more likely to develop symptoms of anxiety and depression.

Give an Hour is a nonprofit organization that has established a national network of more than 5,300 licensed mental health professionals who provide free mental health services to U.S. troops, their families and communities affected by the current military conflicts in Afghanistan and Iraq. Each one gives an hour each week to provide free mental health services to military personnel and their families. In addition, these volunteers work to educate the public and the military community to reduce the stigma so often associated with mental health issues.

Give an Hour offers immediate access to services for people who might fail to seek help through the military or Veterans Administration. Parents, siblings, unmarried partners and other loved ones are typically not covered by military insurance. However, they, too, are often adversely affected and can benefit from the professional help our organization offers.

Thank you for helping to spread the word about our services. -- LAUREN ITZKOWITZ, DIRECTOR OF PUBLIC RELATIONS

DEAR LAUREN: I salute your efforts. The service that Give an Hour is offering is vital, and I'm pleased to alert readers that it is available.

Readers, in addition to providing easy and free care for as long as it's needed, this organization is following the example of service embodied by so many of our military men and women. There are providers in all 50 states, Washington, D.C., Guam and Puerto Rico. To find one, log on to � HYPERLINK "http://www.giveanhour.org" �www.giveanhour.org� and use the ZIP code search. If there is no provider in your area, the organization can be contacted at � HYPERLINK "mailto:infor@giveanhour.org" �info@giveanhour.org�, and a provider will be located for you.

DEAR ABBY: My elderly father has been a widower for many years. His neighbor, also his age, recently lost her husband, and they have been spending a lot of time together. He takes her shopping, she cooks for him, etc. My concern is twofold: One, this woman is not in good health, and I can't bear to see Dad heartbroken again when she dies. My second concern is the woman and her husband never even invited Dad over for a cup of coffee after Mom died, but now that she's a widow, she all of a sudden wants to be "neighborly." I'd like to ask her why. Would I be out of line? -- LOOKING OUT FOR MY DAD

DEAR LOOKING OUT: Yes, you would. Your question would likely be regarded as hostile by both your father and the neighbor because that's the way it comes across to me.

While you may feel protective, please recognize that your father is an adult and, presumably, able to take care of himself. At this point in his life he doesn't need you to look out for him. Only if asked should you venture an opinion like the one you have confided to me.

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