DEAR ABBY: I'm a single woman in my late 30s and have an 18-year-old daughter. When I am alone or out with my girlfriends, I am constantly hit on by younger men. My girlfriends say it's because I don't look my age and that I should feel flattered. Well, I am not a "cougar," and I don't get turned on by younger men. I find it offensive when I am approached by them.

While my single friends are being asked on romantic dates by professional older men, I'm being asked on dates by struggling college boys who have no car, no job and cramped living quarters with three other roommates. Give me a break!

It has reached the point that I just pretend to be married. But it's starting to bother me that mature men don't find me attractive. I have stopped wanting to go out because of this. What should I do? -- IN A FUNK IN FRESNO

DEAR IN A FUNK: Where's your sense of humor? Instead of telling these young men you're married, why not tell them something closer to the truth -- that you're old enough to be their mother and ask if they happen to have a single uncle.

Seriously, if the only men who pay attention to you are men in their early 20s, your problem may be the way you're packaging the product you're trying to sell. Your makeup, hairstyle and attire may send the wrong message, and that's why men in your target demographic aren't showing an interest. Talk to your friends about this and see what they have to offer.

DEAR ABBY: I have a stressful job but do not work "regular" hours. I also care for my aged mother, which is like having another job. Because of this, I have little time to myself or to relax. During warm weather I enjoy taking an occasional break on my back deck, whether reading materials for work, enjoying a novel or catching a quick nap. Frequently, I'll transact business on my cellphone.

Anytime my neighbor sees me sitting on my deck, he'll come out of his house. He thinks it's funny to say things like, "Boy, I wish I could be like you and not have to work," or "Must be nice to just sit around."

The first few times it was funny, but I no longer find it humorous -- especially when I'm stressed out about work or my mother. Yesterday I warned him, "Don't go there!"

How can I nicely let my neighbor know his joke is now stale and no longer appropriate? With all the pressure I'm under, he's making even a quick break stressful. -- BEHIND THE 8-BALL IN OHIO

DEAR BEHIND THE 8-BALL: Your neighbor may be a tad jealous of what he perceives as all your free time, or he may be a one-joke wonder who's trying to be friendly. But the nicest and most direct way to get your message across would be to explain that you're not only working from home, but also caring for your mother -- and when you take these breaks, solitude is necessary.

DEAR ABBY: It disturbs me greatly that we keep reading about parents leaving their children in cars, whether it be absentmindedness, stress or downright intentional. It needs to stop.

I'm hoping car manufacturers can come up with an idea -- maybe a sensor that once the doors are closed and locked, should there be motion or a sound in the vehicle, the windows would automatically open, giving a passer-by a chance to see inside and maybe save a precious life. -- FRUSTRATED BY "PREMATURE" ANGELS

DEAR FRUSTRATED: You are not the only one who is disturbed by these recent tragedies. They are on the minds of a lot of people lately. Today's mail brought a suggestion from another reader who is hoping to put an end to the loss of these fragile young lives. A mother in Westland, Michigan, offered this:

DEAR ABBY: I have a suggestion for parents. Talk to your children when they are in the car with you. I always carried on a conversation, sang or counted to my kids, even newborns, and continued through the years they were rear-facing and forward-facing. It helped them to learn their ABCs, count, and even know where streets were. It was also a running reminder that someone very special was with me. I never listened to the radio, unless it was nursery rhymes on DVD or toddler songs. It not only helped me teach my children, but it also made driving fun and safe for the tiny passengers in my car. -- D.W.K.

READERS: A nonprofit group called KidsAndCars suggests that parents "place something they will need (when exiting the vehicle), such as a cellphone, handbag or briefcase, near the child in the back seat. Or keep a large stuffed animal in the child's car seat when it's not occupied. When the child is in the car seat, place the stuffed animal in the front passenger seat as a reminder that the child is in the back.

"And tell the child's day care center or baby sitter that they will always be called if your child isn't coming in as scheduled. If the child is absent without an explanation, the day care center or baby sitter is expected to contact a parent or another designated caregiver."

I would not recommend an automatic device because it could fail.

DEAR ABBY: I am friends with a couple who have been married for three years. I have worked with the wife since before their wedding. The wife is overtly sexual toward me and has cheated on her husband with many men during the last year.

I'll be changing jobs soon and think the husband should know what his wife has been doing. Should I send him an anonymous letter? Tell him in person? Or let him find out for himself in the future? -- TROUBLED FRIEND IN DETROIT

DEAR TROUBLED: Because the woman is "overtly" sexual with you, it's likely the husband already has an inkling. Whether you decide to tell him his wife is cheating with multiple men depends on whether you would want to be told. But this I can tell you emphatically: This information should not be conveyed in an unsigned letter from a "friend."

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 24-year-old plus-sized woman (60 or 70 pounds overweight), but very comfortable in my own skin. When swimming in public, I wear a one-piece bathing suit because it doesn't attract a lot of attention. When I'm home, I have a bikini top and shorts I prefer to wear. This is because I don't like being covered up like it was in the 1950s, and I feel good when my curves are properly accentuated.

When I go back to see my family and swim, I wear a bikini top and black shorts. Recently, my mother said, "When the family comes over, you can't wear that. It makes people uncomfortable."

I was shocked, and we had a huge argument. Most of my cousins are fine with my attire, as are my aunts. Only Mom has a problem with it. I asked if she'd feel the same about a large man swimming without a T-shirt. She said it's different for women.

Am I wrong for wanting to be comfortable in my childhood home? Mom should be proud to have a daughter who accepts herself as she is. Who is wrong here? -- OFFENDED DAUGHTER IN CHICAGO

DEAR OFFENDED DAUGHTER: You are not wrong for wanting to be comfortable. But please remember that when you visit someone else's home, that person's wishes take precedence -- even if it used to be your childhood home.

While you say you are comfortable in your own skin, it would be interesting to know what your physician thinks about your obesity. I suspect that your mother would be prouder of you if you were less complacent and more willing to do something about your weight problem.

DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of three beautiful daughters. I have been married for 11 years now. I married at 19, just after high school. My husband is 18 years older.

The first five years of marriage, when I fully depended on him, he was arrogant, violent and unfaithful. He hurt me so badly that I vowed to work hard and when I was independent, I would move away. Now I have a stable job -- but my kids love him, and I know they will be hurt.

My husband is jobless now. He tells me he supported me when I was jobless, so it's my turn to take care of him. I stay because I feel guilty. Should I finally forgive him, and if so, how? -- BITTER IN NAIROBI

DEAR BITTER: If you truly want to forgive your husband for the physical and emotional abuse you suffered in the early years of your marriage, a place to start would be to talk with your spiritual adviser.

You didn't mention whether your husband is trying to find another job, if there is a valid reason why he can't work, or if he's still unfaithful. If it's the latter, then in my opinion, you "owe" him the same amount of financial support that he gave you and nothing more. However, because I am not familiar with the marriage laws in Kenya, you should discuss this with a lawyer.