DEAR ABBY: A few months ago, I turned 50 and my co-workers held a small celebration. When we celebrate birthdays, we all have agreed to regift an item (usually a gag gift).

One of my presents was a black leather miniskirt and matching vest. I never planned on wearing it, but my husband, "Tom," and I were invited to an '80s-themed Halloween party and I didn't want to spend a lot of money on a costume, so we decided to go as a rock star and his groupie.

I left work early to get ready for the party. When Tom arrived home, he couldn't keep his eyes or hands off me. We never made it to the party and had the best sex we'd had in years. Before that night, our love life had been practically nonexistent.

Abby, please remind readers to always keep intimacy in their relationships. Apparently, Tom and I just needed to be creative and spice things up a little. -- HAPPIER IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR HAPPIER: That's a great suggestion. Now I know why your jack-o'-lantern was smiling.

DEAR ABBY: I was married for six years and had three children with my husband. He always said he hated people who cheat on their spouse, but then he had an affair with a married co-worker, a woman who had three kids. We had a huge argument about it. I called her names and he beat me up. I called the police, he was arrested, jailed, and I filed for divorce.

It has been six years and I have moved on, but I'm still angry over their cheating. They got married and invited mutual friends who knew of their affair. All of them attended the wedding.

When I questioned a few of them about why they didn't tell me he was cheating on me, they said it was "none of their business." (Oddly enough, those people thought nothing of socializing with the cheaters.)

I'd like to know how many of your readers would tell someone their spouse was cheating. I know I would, because affairs aren't innocent fun.

Just to add to the end of my story, my ex and his trophy wife are now divorcing after three years of marriage. The reason? He caught her cheating! -- THE EX-MRS. IN ILLINOIS

DEAR EX-MRS.: These "friends" may not have told you because they either didn't want to get involved, or they had already chosen whose side they planned to be on.

I suspect many readers will want to chime in on your question. And I also suspect that, unlike years ago when folks opted to remain silent, the majority will say they feel the spouse has a right to know because they would want to be told.

DEAR ABBY: Please provide advice on hugging a woman without it seeming like I am more interested in experiencing a free feel of her breasts than in just hugging her. Any help or suggestions will be appreciated. -- HEALTHY AMERICAN MALE

DEAR H.A.M.: If you are hugging women you don't have much of a relationship with, your intention could be misconstrued. If you think your attempt to be warm and friendly might be regarded as making a pass, then you shouldn't do it, or you may be considered less a "healthy American male" than a creepy lecher.

DEAR ABBY: What are the signs of prescription drug abuse? How would you suggest a young person like me (I am 13) confront a close family member about something like this, especially since I'm not sure?

I found an antidepressant prescribed for my mother. As long as I can remember, she has been a happy and upbeat person, and I have no reason to suspect she's depressed. I'm worried she may be abusing the medication.

I have never felt comfortable asking questions, so it would not be easy for me to ask her. Please help. I now have trouble even speaking to her. Any advice would be appreciated. -- WORRIED TEEN IN BOSTON

DEAR WORRIED TEEN: Perhaps it will lessen your fears to know that antidepressants are sometimes prescribed not only for depression, but also to help people with sleep problems and other conditions. You have reached an age when it is important for teens to be able to talk to their parents about any concerns they may have, and you should talk to your mom about this. Please don't procrastinate.

DEAR ABBY: You once wrote that you were allowed to read anything growing up -- nothing was taboo. We can all use good advice and be prepared when we encounter difficult situations.

I took that to heart and decided my children should read your column with me instead of my lecturing/instructing them about life. So now they take turns reading the questions aloud. We have a group discussion, and we all give our answers to the questions before we read your answers. If all of our answers are different, we have a new discussion.

I love it because of the topics that come up. My children are learning how to reason, and that people from all walks of life (and all ages) have problems and need help. And finally, I love that my children realize that it's OK to ask for help, and they shouldn't worry or feel ashamed to ask in any situation.

Thank you so much, Abby. Your column is a great parenting tool for me and my husband. -- MRS. M. IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR MRS. M.: Thank you for your kind words. My column may be a useful teaching tool, but you and your husband are using it wisely. While not everyone may agree with everything that's printed in my column, the discussions it often generates are helpful for sharing ideas and clarifying family values. This kind of communication brings families closer together.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I recently got engaged, and I was thrilled when he got down on one knee with my great-grandmother's ring. While I love both the ring and the idea that we saved a lot of money we can now put toward our wedding, I can tell he feels awkward when well-wishers congratulate him on having selected such a pretty and expensive ring. What's the best way to respond to these comments and make my fiance feel like he did a great job? -- VINTAGE-LOVING BRIDE

DEAR VLB: It isn't necessary to discuss the history of the ring with everyone who comments. Because you know your fiance is sensitive about it, just smile and say thank you.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Norm," has become profoundly deaf. He has a cochlear implant in one ear and a hearing aid in the other; neither has helped much. He has extreme difficulty with speech recognition. We can talk together in the quiet of our home as long as I sit right next to him and speak slowly. We use assisted-listening devices to communicate with each other in the car or at a restaurant.

Norm's hearing loss has affected us as a couple. We no longer have a social life. When Norm and I are out together, we become "invisible" to other couples. It's just too much work for anyone to communicate with us.

We are about to move to a retirement community where one meal a day is included in the dining room. I'm worried about how we will navigate the social aspects of eating with others, who will rapidly decide they don't want to eat with us again because of the difficulty of trying to chat with Norm.

Norm is well aware of this problem. He has proposed that he eat alone in our apartment while I go to the dining room and meet people, unencumbered by his impairment. Can you advise? -- TRAPPED IN A SITUATION

DEAR TRAPPED: Before moving into the retirement community, make a point of discussing your husband's severe hearing impairment with the director, the nurse and/or their medical adviser because they need to be made aware of your husband's special needs in order to be able to accommodate him, if it's possible.

According to the House Clinic in Los Angeles (www.houseearclinic.com), he will probably be advised to check in with his otologist (a doctor who specializes in the anatomy and physiology of the ear) to see if anything further can be done to improve his hearing. I hope you will follow through with that suggestion, because advances are being made in this field every year, and it may help your husband be less isolated.

DEAR ABBY: What is the rule of etiquette in sending out and signing Christmas cards from my family when one child is over 20 and in college? Do I send cards from just my husband, me, and the kids still living at home? Or should I also include my son, the one away at college? -- REALLY CONFUSED IN TEXAS

DEAR REALLY CONFUSED: Even if your son is away at college, he is still a part of your family, so include him. Once he has finished with school and is out on his own, that would be the time to suggest he start sending his own greetings.

DEAR ABBY: My son took his own life last year. I am raising his small children because their mother is out of the picture. How do I tell them how their daddy died? -- GRANDMA IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR GRANDMA: Tell them gradually when they start asking questions. If they ask why Daddy died, say he was very ill. When they want to know what the illness was, tell them he suffered from depression. When they want more details, reveal them in an age-appropriate manner.