DEAR ABBY: I have had a very strained relationship with my father for many years. My mother and I are not close because she was incarcerated for most of my life until recently.

I am 16 now, and just found out I'm pregnant. No one knows except the father of my child. For some reason, he is thrilled for us. I, on the other hand, am terrified of the uncertainties.

I know what my father will say. He will want me to get an abortion, but I would never choose that for myself or for my baby. My mother is struggling since she was released from prison and is still trying to get on her feet. I live with my grandparents, who don't have the means to support a child.

It seems like my only option is to move in with my boyfriend and his family while I finish school and then get a job. Please give me an unbiased perspective. -- UNCERTAIN IN THE SOUTH

DEAR UNCERTAIN: You appear to be an intelligent young woman, so I will give it to you straight. Although you think you know what your father will say, you can't know for sure until you talk to him and tell him what's going on. I'm advising you to do that because you may need his help. A loving father will give it to you. If you decide to have this baby, he can't force you to get an abortion.

You and your baby's father should also talk to his parents, so that, if necessary, you will be able to stay with them. You must also be sure to have the best prenatal care possible, so your child will be born healthy. Planned Parenthood has clinics where this care is offered, and you should contact it as soon as possible. If you check its website, www.plannedparenthood.org, you will also find information about adoption.

You must also make earning your high school diploma a priority, so you will be able to support and educate the child you're bringing into the world, if you decide to raise him or her yourself.

DEAR ABBY: I physically assaulted a male friend (Aiden) who I was -- and still am -- interested in. I'm a survivor of domestic violence and have a troubled past. I have sworn not to touch alcohol, and shared with him some of the horror stories regarding what happens when I drink.

A few weeks ago, I hosted a mutual friend's birthday party at my house. Long story short, Aiden suggested I take a shot. I was unwilling at first, but finally agreed to a birthday toast. After that toast, things are blurry for me. According to other friends at the party, I went crazy.

I want so bad to tell Aiden that I know what I did was unacceptable, but I know he may never see or speak to me again. As someone who has lived through being abused, I know this is a very difficult thing to ever forgive. How can I even look him in the eye if he ever speaks to me again? -- SORRY BEYOND WORDS

DEAR SORRY: Recognizing the part that Aiden played in what happened might help. You described your past and warned him about what happens when you have a drink. Knowing that, he never should have suggested you have an alcoholic beverage to make the birthday toast.

If your paths cross, stand up straight and say you're sorry. But frankly, he owes you an apology, too.

DEAR ABBY: My cousin "Opal" and I grew up together. We were always close. She has gone through some rough times, and I have been trying to help her out.

She has five children (ages 10 to 2) and I have one child who is 13. The fathers of her children are not helpful. I recently completed my education and am looking for work, so money is tight.

Opal doesn't feed her kids before bringing them over or provide diapers for the little one. She promises to reimburse me, but rarely does. Most of the time I keep my mouth shut because I know she doesn't make much as a server. How can I make her understand that even though I have only one child that doesn't mean I have the money to help her out with her five?

Also, when I baby-sit her children, they are rowdy and destructive. But if I try to raise the subject, it creates tension between us.

I love Opal. I want to help her. But when is it enough? I don't want to withdraw my help completely, but it has become more than my household can bear. -- CARING COUSIN IN MISSOURI

DEAR CARING COUSIN: Nothing will change until you are ready to tell Cousin Opal enough is enough and set some strict rules. That she has had five children with different deadbeat boyfriends is not your fault. One accidental pregnancy -- or even two -- can happen. But five should be a clue that your cousin is irresponsible.

Tell Opal that unless her children are fed before they arrive and she provides diapers, you will no longer baby-sit for her. (It wouldn't be a bad idea to tell her to include some snacks as well.) Tell her that before her children come over she is to instruct them to be on their best behavior. Her household may be chaotic because there are no rules -- so don't blame those children for their bad behavior.

When they arrive, tell them that in your house there are rules. Explain clearly what they are and that there are rewards for good behavior. Make clear that if they can't be good, they won't be welcomed back without their mother.

If the penalty for drawing the line is that there is tension between you and your cousin, the upside will be that you will be taken advantage of less often.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 49-year-old gay man who has been in a relationship with my partner, "Alex," for almost 25 years. We plan to have a silver anniversary party in July. When I mentioned it to my two sisters, both had similar reactions -- it's not "appropriate" and "silver anniversaries are for married couples and you're not married."

Abby, is it wrong to celebrate a silver anniversary with Alex? If not, should I send invitations to my two sisters? -- LONG-TERM IN LONG BEACH

DEAR LONG-TERM: Of course it's not wrong! The option of marriage wasn't available to gay people 25 years ago. A quarter of a century together is something to celebrate.

Knowing your sisters' feelings, you'd be justified in excluding them from your guest list. However, consider taking the high road and inviting them anyway. Then, whether they attend or not becomes their decision.

DEAR ABBY: I am heartbroken. I have an uncle "Tony" I'm close to, who is like my best friend. I was sending him pictures of a football game and he sent me back a very inappropriate picture of himself. He says it was a "mistake," that it was supposed to go to his wife, but the text message he sent with it showed different.

I don't want to be around him. I'm disgusted and hurt over this. I need advice. What do I do? -- HEARTBROKEN IN GEORGIA

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: Share the photo and texts with your parents and ask what they think about them. Then ask if they think you should forward the picture and text message to your aunt with a note explaining Uncle Tony said they were meant for her, and you didn't want her to miss them.

Because he makes you uncomfortable, listen to your intuition and keep your distance because what he did was appalling.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a female working full-time in an office with all men. Yesterday afternoon, I ate a salad that contained several varieties of beans. I was standing outside my boss's office, laughing at a joke one of the salesmen was telling when the beans got the best of me and I passed gas.

I was mortified and wanted to sink through the floor! I patted the salesman on the arm and said, "I guess that's what I think of the joke," and walked back into my office. I didn't know what else to say or do. Today I can't look either of them in the face.

Since this seems to be something that happens to older people (I'm 69), and it's something we often don't have total control over -- please tell me how to "recover." If this should happen again, what on earth does one say or do? -- BEANS, THE MUSICAL FRUIT

DEAR B.T.M.F.: Stop beating yourself up over this. Expelling gas is normal. According to the National Institutes of Health, the average person passes gas about 14 times a day -- although probably not as spectacularly as you did.

If it happens again, don't try to be funny. Just say, "Excuse me," and if the "toot" is a fragrant one, distance yourself. I'm positive that would be appreciated.

DEAR ABBY: We are planning to give a joint baby shower next month for two sisters-in-law who are expecting their babies three weeks apart. The joint shower is a necessity because some of the relatives will need to travel quite a distance to attend.

Most of the guests know both girls, but some will know only one of them. Is there a way we can word the invitation so these guests won't feel obligated to "gift" both babies? Any suggestions will be gratefully appreciated because we are stumped. -- STUMPED IN OHIO

DEAR STUMPED: Put nothing on the invitations themselves mentioning gifts. However, it is acceptable to include an insert along with the invitation that states gifts for both babies are not expected. If the shower is going to be a large one, you could email the guests to relay the information. However, if it will be relatively small, pick up the phone and call.