DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Before my dad even met his fiancée, Sophie, he and my mom were already separated and just waiting for their divorce to go through. He was not even living in our house. But my mom keeps telling people my dad left her and the rest of us for Sophie. She tells people Sophie is a cougar and stuff like that. None of it is true.

I like Sophie a lot. She is only three years older than my dad and works in a middle school as a special ed assistant. She is so good with my little brother, who is on the spectrum, and usually doesn’t do well with new people. And she really clicks with my dad, who is not the most social guy in the world.

Sophie never says bad things about my mom, at least not when I can hear, but my mom is so mean about Sophie every chance she gets, no matter who is around to hear. We have fought over how she is about Sophie, and I have learned not to even bring her up around my mom, which is hard because my mom and I are really close and usually talk about everything.

Should I just let Mom’s trash talk go and continue not mentioning Sophie at all around her, or should I stick up for Sophie, which only gets Mom madder, but would make me feel like I’m doing the right thing? --- I LIKE SOPHIE

DEAR I LIKE SOPHIE: Your mother has certainly put you in an awkward position.

Since Sophie is going to be your stepmother and you clearly appreciate the sort of person she is, I believe it’s not at all inappropriate for you to defend her against your mother’s attacks.

However, nobody benefits from an endless argument. I think you should be prepared to have one last showdown with your mom over her verbally attacking Sophie. You could let her know you don’t intend to change your feelings for either woman, and that you will avoid going out of your way to mention Sophie in front of your mom on the condition that she does the same.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I get truly killer periods. Nothing does more than take the edge off the pain, and the bleeding is so heavy I have to change my pad every two hours.

My mom took me to her ob/gyn to see what can be done and we are trying different things to make it less hard on me every month. The doctor talked to my mom and me about starting me on the pill as one option. We are also working with different ways to get the most out of the OTC painkillers before starting on prescription kinds, some of which have some not fun side effects.

My dad grew up with brothers and a mother who once told me her periods lasted three days and she barely ever felt any cramps. So he thinks I am just making a lot of this up to get attention and time off from school. He also told me I am too young to be on the pill. My mom always sides with me against my dad, because even though she doesn’t have as hard a time as I do, she knows how painful the cramps can be and how embarrassing it is when you bleed past your pad.

What do I need to do to convince my dad that all this is real? --- IT’S REAL

DEAR IT’S REAL: For all our willingness to openly and candidly talk about some of the most personal aspects of our lives, the topic of menstruation still seems to set many people on edge. Even if the men in our lives are sympathetic and supportive, I don’t know too many who want to hear the details of a woman’s cycle.

One way you might be able to convince your father about the reality of your difficult periods is to have him go with you and your mother on an upcoming consultation visit with your ob/gyn.

Hearing from a medical professional how genuine your symptoms are would back up what you and your mother have been telling him, and hopefully convince him this is a medical issue and not merely a figment of your imagination.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Ever since we were in high school “Kaylie” and I promised we would be each other’s maid of honor.

When she got engaged last Christmas, she officially asked me to be her MOH at her wedding next year, and I of course said yes. We then started planning the wedding with her mother and her future mother-in-law, and everything was fine.

Last week I got a text from her saying she wanted to give me a heads-up that she and “Ray” eloped because they decided they didn’t want the whole big wedding. They then started posting their announcement and pictures from the courthouse all over the place.

I was completely blindsided, and it hurts. I have spoken to Kaylie’s mom and she feels the same, but says she supports their decision and that the newlyweds agreed to take care of covering the lost deposits, saying that still works out a lot cheaper than the wedding would have.

I know this was their decision to make, but it hurts that one of my oldest, and I thought closest friends didn’t at least ask for me to be a witness at the courthouse. I would have been fine with that even.

Several of our other friends have sent me messages saying they were shocked by the whole thing too and were disappointed for me because they knew how excited I was to be Kaylie’s MOH and all.

I have been doing the suck it up thing, but I feel I need to say something directly to Kaylie about how hurt I am. I know this isn’t really about me at all, but I also didn’t expect to find myself in this position.

Am I right to say something to Kaylie about how I feel? --- DO I SPEAK UP?

DEAR DO I SPEAK UP?: Your disappointment is understandable, but as you already acknowledged, the decision to elope was the couple’s to make.

For now, I think it best to keep your disappointment to yourself. You know you’re not the only one both surprised and feeling let down.

You were prepared to be there for your friend as a bride. Now it’s your chance to be there for her as a newlywed.