DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Sam," and I have been married three years and have a good relationship. He's a wonderful father and husband, and I really couldn't ask for much more.

However, there is one thing I just don't know what to do about. He had a rough divorce from his first wife, who was also the first woman he ever had sex with (they waited until they were married). She started doing drugs shortly afterward and cheated on him several times. Counseling with her didn't work, and eventually he filed for divorce.

We married five years after his divorce, and we also waited to have sex until we were married. This was by mutual agreement. Once we were married, I realized he has some big hang-ups about sex in general. There can never be any foreplay, we never change positions, and the times it happens are few and far between.

I have expressed my need for more intimacy, but he acts like I'm being ridiculous, or says he can't make himself change something he's comfortable with. How else can I approach this situation without making him feel bad? I believe sex in a marriage is very important, and ours needs to change. -- NEEDS MORE IN TEXAS

DEAR NEEDS MORE: Your husband has a problem, but in order for there to be any changes in your marriage, he will have to admit to himself -- and to you -- that he has one. A place to start would be marriage counseling with a licensed therapist, and from there, very likely, a course of treatment with a licensed sex therapist. I hope you can convince him that it is necessary, because unless he agrees, I don't think a mutually satisfying union will be possible.

DEAR ABBY: I got my sister a job at my workplace, and she has now fallen in love with one of my co-workers, "Bill." The problem is, he's married and has children. Bill's wife works here, too, and she recently found out about the romance. Bill and his wife talked and decided to work things out.

I have now learned that Bill and my sister are still dating and have even discussed marriage. I had decided to stay out of it, but I'm friends with this couple and I feel obligated to let the wife know. Should I stay silent and let her find out for herself? How do I make my sister realize this is not a good path she is going down? -- STUCK IN THE MIDDLE

DEAR STUCK: Bill's wife already knows she's married to a cheater. She doesn't need you to tell her. Do, however, talk to your sister and remind her that this is a no-win situation for her.

When Bill's wife realizes the affair is ongoing, she'll either see to it that the romance is over once and for all -- which means your sister will end up brokenhearted -- or she'll divorce him. If she divorces Bill and he marries your sister, your sister will have a husband with a history of cheating and heavy child support payments. That's hardly a guarantee of a happy ending.

DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, I met a gentleman, and he eventually decided we were "soul mates." I agreed. Over time, we shared our life stories, good and bad. I confided that I'd had an abortion at the age of 18, which has haunted me all my adult life.

Recently he was reciting a chronology of my life. When he got to the abortion, he said, "... and then you became a child murderer." His comment stunned me. He finds nothing wrong with it. Was this total disrespect, or am I overreacting? -- STUNNED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR STUNNED: That "gentleman's" remark was not only disrespectful, but also incredibly insensitive and wrong. It is not against the law to terminate a pregnancy in this country. It is a right that many women -- and men -- fought hard to achieve.

Because each woman's circumstances are unique, this deeply personal decision is made for a variety of reasons. Like yourself, women experience a range of emotions afterward -- including feelings of sadness and anger, but also relief. For this person to have made such an insensitive comment should be a clue that he may not be your soul mate after all.

Because of stigma that, not surprisingly, can cause feelings of shame, many women choose to remain silent about their decision to have an abortion. A resource that could be helpful to them -- and to you -- is Exhale (exhaleprovoice.org), a nonpolitical, nonjudgmental support organization for women who have had an abortion. Please check it out.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 33-year-old man in academia, and it has been two years since my last relationship ended. (Her name was "Erica.") I have always been with older women, the most significant ones being 10 and eight years older. One ended because, in a night of depressed, alcohol-fueled self-loathing, I cheated on her. I don't make those choices anymore.

I have had chances to date, but none has drawn my interest the way Erica did -- until recently. "Angie" is a sweetheart with a good sense of humor. When I'm around her, I start feeling twinges of how Erica made me feel.

I'm surprised by my attraction to Angie because she is only 19. Previous older mates were in education as I am, and Angie is, well, 19. I can't figure out if this is a genuine attraction, or if I'm trying to prove to myself that I can be involved with someone younger. I admit I'm intrigued by the idea of assuming the role of teacher instead of student.

I don't want to see Angie hurt by a mistake in judgment on my part. Is it healthy for a 19-year-old to be interested in significantly older men? Should I stop overanalyzing this and give it a try? -- MR. X IN MICHIGAN

DEAR MR. X: I think it depends upon what you mean by "it." Young women can be attracted to older men for a variety of reasons. If Angie is one of your students, I'd advise against a romantic involvement until after she has left your class to avoid any possible accusations of favoritism or even sexual harassment.

DEAR ABBY: I met an amazing man and have been dating him for about three months. It was almost love at first sight. I say "almost" because I was hesitant to get involved since I am his boss.

My problem is, for six years I was in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship. My ex threw me through a wall, leaving me with broken ribs and lacerations on my face. I was constantly called "fat" -- especially when I was pregnant.

Now that I'm with this new guy, I feel awkward. He tells me how pretty I am, and I don't know how to respond. It makes me uncomfortable when he says it, and I have no idea why. I have fallen so hard for him, but feel like I hurt his feelings when I don't respond. It's not that I think I'm ugly or anything; I just feel like I am not as pretty as he constantly says I am.

How can I overcome this so it doesn't become a problem in the future? I'm scared to death that one day he will wake up and realize that I'm not as perfect as he thinks I am. -- NOT PERFECT IN ALABAMA

DEAR NOT PERFECT: I don't know whether your self-esteem problem is long-standing and deep-seated, or if it stems from the abusive relationship you had with your ex. But a way to conquer it would be to discuss your feelings with a licensed mental health professional.

On a related subject, it is common knowledge that workplace romances -- while not uncommon -- can turn into disasters if they don't work out. They sometimes fail because of the imbalance of power in the relationship if one person has economic control of the other. While you're talking to your therapist, this is something that should also be discussed.

DEAR ABBY: Social media -- specifically Facebook -- has had an impact on families, their values and relationships. It is important to understand that, contrary to popular belief, parents and grandparents DO NOT LIVE FOREVER. Being "too busy" for face-to-face visits, writing a postcard or a letter, or even a simple telephone call, is not how we were brought up.

To my children and grandchildren, whom I dearly love: I'm sure you'll take the time to order flowers for my funeral. You may even take the day off to attend, and when you do, you will most likely shed some tears. So why can't you find the time, while I'm still here, to visit or call? I'd love to see you, and I'm never too busy to make the time. -- HURT IN PELLA, IOWA

DEAR HURT: I'm printing your letter because I'm sure this is a problem shared by many aging parents and grandparents. However, this is a question you should direct to your children and grandchildren, not me. If you do, you may learn there may be multiple reasons why they don't pay more attention to you -- among them, the pressures of work, school, child care, or the fact that they are disorganized and don't budget their time well.

There is also the question of whether you are an enjoyable person to be around. Do you show an interest in what they are doing, or make them feel guilty for not doing more to entertain you? That's a surefire way to keep them away.