DEAR ABBY: I am a college sophomore and have been dating my boyfriend, "Evan," for nearly a year. I am planning to take a semester abroad at the beginning of my junior year.

Recently, Evan confessed that if I leave, our relationship would have to end. He asserts that being away from me for more than three months would be too painful and scary, not knowing if I was all right. (He has some anxiety issues, for which I have urged him to consider therapy.)

Should I end this relationship now, or continue to see if Evan changes his mind? There's a possibility, depending on program availability and class requirements, that I may not even be able to go. I don't want to break any hearts or inflict any pain. Evan is my best friend, and I'm scared of losing him. -- AMBITIOUS STUDENT IN MARYLAND

DEAR STUDENT: Gather your courage and tell Evan that you love him and want him to be your best friend forever, but that the semester abroad is an opportunity to grow. By the way, your absence will provide Evan with one, too, if he chooses to avail himself of it.

You are right that he needs to work on his anxiety issues. It would be a huge mistake to let them stand in the way of your having the experience of a lifetime if you are lucky enough to get it. There are worse things than being alone, and one of them is being attached to a partner who would hold you back.

DEAR ABBY: I am 50, own my home and am debt-free. I have friends but have never dated anyone. This doesn't bother me, although many of my close friends joke with me about being a "50-year-old virgin."

My problem is, four years ago I lost my job. I have a few investments and a small inheritance that, when combined, give me an income of $60,000 a year. So I don't need more money.

Although I did look for another job for two years, I haven't tried for the past two. I tell my friends I've decided to retire. They keep telling me I need to find a job because I need something to keep me busy. I remind them that I have enough money for everything I need.

Friends have started telling me I may have a "problem" and should think about counseling. I see no need for it, but have decided to get an outside opinion. So, Abby, should I see a counselor about my lack of interest in finding a new job? -- OUT OF WORK IN TEXAS

DEAR OUT OF WORK: There are reasons people work besides the financial one. Social stimulation is important, too. I am glad you have the money to support yourself now, but what if something unplanned or catastrophic happens in the future that jeopardizes your nest egg?

Fifty is young to "retire." The counseling you're considering should be used to determine why you lack the motivation to continue being a contributing member of society. (This may be the "problem" your friends are hinting at.)

DEAR ABBY: My dear friend "Iris" is having her annual Halloween party. Each year I wear a costume I pull together without spending extra money. This year I'll be dressing as a cowgirl, and I have arranged to borrow a few items for the costume.

As a rule, I keep my costume a surprise and don't ask others what they're going to wear. By chance, Iris and I ran errands together and she wanted to pick up her husband's costume while we were out. She chose a cowboy costume.

I considered changing my costume, but then I started wondering why I should, when I had already made arrangements. Before Iris paid for the costume, I told her about mine. She put her husband's costume back and said she'd select something else later.

There was no argument, but I wonder if I was obligated to tell her. Would it have been bad if I had just gone ahead and shown up as a cowgirl without saying anything? -- WONDERING IN THE WILD WEST

DEAR WONDERING: It would only have been "bad" if Iris had planned to dress as a cowgirl to complement her husband's costume. Personally, I think you did the right thing by being up-front.

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my husband, "Elliot," for six years, married for two. We're financially stable and have great, supportive families.

One of our biggest issues is that Elliot needs to be emotionally coddled, and I give in to it. It's taxing to be the strong one all the time, and the result is I don't feel as attracted to him. He complains that I'm "not fun" anymore or that I'm a "prude."

Now that I'm pregnant, things have gotten worse. I expected to be treated like a pregnant goddess, but Elliot feels no emotional attachment to our baby and is afraid of becoming a father. I find it hard to deal with because we planned this pregnancy.

We have been fighting a lot lately, and while he was out, I read his journal. It stated that he knows he doesn't love his wife anymore. Since that day I have been a wreck, but I have been unable to talk to him about it.

Every morning he tells me he loves me. Now I ask him, "Are you sure?" to which he replies, "Of course!" Is he lying? Should I confront him about the journal entry even though I invaded his privacy? -- PREGNANT GODDESS IN PHILADELPHIA

DEAR PREGNANT GODDESS: Recognize that Elliot is less emotionally mature than you are, which is why you have been stuck in the role of being "the strong one." Once the baby comes, you will have less time to coddle him, which may make him jealous. People have good days and bad ones. Your husband may have been having a bad one when he wrote what you read.

This may seem like blasphemy, but not all fathers-to-be are excited when faced with the reality of impending parenthood. Some are intimidated, which may be what Elliot is feeling. You may find that once the baby arrives he will bond with him/her. However, if it doesn't happen, or if you continue to feel emotionally isolated, you both should start marriage counseling. Then he can explain to you and a counselor why he would tell you one thing and be writing the opposite in his journal.

DEAR ABBY: My husband enjoys sitting around (among other activities) naked. We live in a subdivision with 700 homes. I have asked him repeatedly to stop, join a nudist group or go home to his mother -- whatever! He says he's sorry, blah blah blah. But it doesn't stop happening.

The deputies have already visited to tell him to stop playing his ukulele while driving, and I'm afraid he'll get caught without a stitch on one day and all hell will break loose. I realize how ludicrous this letter may sound, but I'm being truthful. Am I crazy to expect him to stay clothed in semi-public? -- TERESA IN THE SOUTH

DEAR TERESA: I'm sorry you didn't define "semi-public." It's one thing for a person to "let it all hang out" in the privacy of his (or her) home or fenced backyard. It's quite another for that individual to fully expose himself in public view. If this is what has been happening, it appears you have married an exhibitionist who could be arrested for indecent exposure if a neighbor chooses to complain. If this is what's happening, you're not crazy; you are a concerned wife.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter's elementary school has many fundraisers each year where the children are asked to sell things like takeout pizza coupons and cheap wrapping paper to raise money for schoolwide events. I'm happy to support the school, but do not want her to participate in the selling.

She's too little to go door-to-door or make phone calls on her own, so I end up doing it for her. I am very uncomfortable when individuals ask me to buy things. I don't want to put that kind of pressure on other people. Also, some of the items for sale are unhealthy or not things we'd use, so it seems wrong to ask others to buy them.

Instead of selling, where they only get a small portion of the funds, I'd rather donate directly to the school. However, I'm not sure how to do that without making our family stand out in this very small community.

When a new fundraiser is announced, should I ask the teacher or PTA member how much our share is and then write a check? I'm afraid I'd be inviting gossip about being too stuck up or wealthy to participate (we are neither). And how do I explain to my 7-year-old why I don't think she should be selling things, without seeming critical of her friends who are? -- JUST WANT TO DONATE IN IOWA

DEAR JUST: This is a concern you should discuss with the person who is in charge of the fundraiser. If you prefer to donate the money you would be expected to raise, rather than have your child solicit door-to-door, your wishes should be respected because the result will be the same for her school. Frankly, I think you have a point.

DEAR ABBY: My mother and I disagree about what to do if a child is invited to a birthday party but is unable to attend. Mom says you should still buy a present for the honoree. I think that's a nice thing to do, but not necessary. What do you think? -- UNSURE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR UNSURE: I agree with you. Buying a gift for the birthday child would be a very thoughtful gesture, but it is not required.