DEAR ABBY: I have a friend, "Ed," who dated a woman who put him down regularly. He was often depressed, and we would discuss what was wrong. Eventually I told him I didn't think she was good for him and he should end it. Instead, he became reluctant to tell me if anything was wrong.

When they got engaged, everyone was shocked. Ed explained it by saying they had been dating for several years so an engagement seemed "logical." Although many of his friends thought he was making a mistake, we offered our congratulations and support.

The other day, by coincidence, I read an article on the subject of female-on-male domestic abuse and realized that Ed's wife -- although she doesn't physically harm him -- demonstrates all the signs of an abuser. Part of me wants to discuss my concerns with Ed, but part of me thinks it's too late because they're already married. And maybe it's none of my business. What would you do? -- FEARFUL FRIEND

DEAR FRIEND: I would try a more subtle approach than your past efforts. I would share that article with my friend Ed and let him draw his own conclusions.

DEAR ABBY: I work and live in an ethnically and religiously diverse community. There is also a welcoming and open LGBT community here.

While I was having lunch with a new employee, she mentioned that she was married. My first thought was that she was married to a woman, but later it sounded like her spouse was male. I didn't want to be rude so I kept my mouth shut. Is it ever OK to ask the gender of someone's spouse? -- POLITE BUT CONFUSED IN OREGON

DEAR POLITE: I don't think so. It would be more tactful to ask the person her spouse's name. However, if the name is gender-neutral, then you should wait till you know the woman better for the answer. Time will tell, even if your co-worker doesn't.

DEAR ABBY: My wife is a nurse who works 36 hours a week. Two years ago she got duped into working for a multilevel marketing company. All she does now in her spare time is try to recruit people. She is never home.

We have two kids. She spends $700 a month on products and makes only $250 a month. Her so-called business is everything to her. She won't get marriage counseling. She says she isn't a quitter. I want a divorce, but I hate the consequences of ending a 15-year marriage.

I need help. It would be so easy to cheat, and I have been tempted more than once, but haven't done it. We are in our 40s, and I feel like a single parent. What do I do? I'm so frustrated. She is basically working for free and thinks she'll be able to retire rich from it. -- BRAINWASHED

DEAR BRAINWASHED: The business venture you have described may be a pyramid scheme. Many people have ended up with garages filled with inventory they can't unload and nothing to show for it. If she refuses counseling, then YOU should consider it for yourself, because what has been going on in your marriage for the last two years is unfair to you and your children. Then you can get a clearer picture of what your next steps should be.

DEAR ABBY: I have been seeing the same dentist for a number of years and have always been satisfied with his work. He has recently begun to talk politics while he works on my teeth. While I feel he's entitled to his opinions, I don't think I should have to listen while his hand is in my mouth. He doesn't realize it, but I am very politically active with the other party.

Abby, his politicizing grates on my nerves and raises my blood pressure, but I don't know how to tell him that I find his comments to be unprofessional. If I change dentists, I could possibly encounter the same problem, especially in this area of the country.

Should I discuss it with him and hope he doesn't start withholding anesthetic or charging extra out of spite? I'm not sure how to handle this because I have dental issues and need a good dentist who will see me when I need him. Help! -- OPEN WIDE IN VIRGINIA

DEAR OPEN WIDE: It shouldn't be necessary to reveal your political affiliation to your dentist. All you have to say is that there are some subjects that you find stressful, and among them are current events, so he should please refrain from bringing them up while you're in his chair because it upsets you and raises your blood pressure.

P.S. If you feel you need more novocaine, ask for some.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I -- as well as our close friends -- are having a disagreement and would like your expert advice. There is a nice man who is blind and who frequently sells brooms and other objects in our neighborhood. Other people who have their own disabilities do the same.

I find myself making kindhearted donations to these individuals and declining to take their goods. My husband thinks we should accept the goods so we are not making a "pity" donation. I have the best intentions. Please clarify this for us, once and for all. -- BEST INTENTIONS IN INDIANA

DEAR BEST INTENTIONS: I'm not sure I agree with your husband. If you have already purchased what the man is selling and don't need to replace it, but would like to make a donation, I see no reason to take anything you won't use. Give the person a small donation, wish him a good day and keep your closets clutter-free. Sometimes less is more.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married three times. My first two husbands were unfaithful and the third was bipolar. I have finally found the man of my dreams and we recently became engaged. There is just one small problem. He has two house dogs he loves dearly and doesn't want to part with, and I refuse to have dogs in my house. Our marriage is on hold because of this. What should I do? -- STICKLER IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR STICKLER: If you are unable to share this man with his house pets, then realize that although he may be the man of your dreams, you are not the woman for him, and let him go.

DEAR ABBY: About a year ago, my daughter befriended a schoolmate. After numerous playdates, our families have become close. While my family is atheist, we know this family is devoutly Christian. Recently, after I mentioned in conversation that we "weren't religious," they invited us to their church for service. I diplomatically declined, but it felt awkward having told the mom our non-beliefs.

Since then, this family invites us to church constantly, and the mom routinely brings up Scripture while we're talking. I feel like they are trying to convert us. I'm hurt that the respect we have extended to this family isn't being reciprocated. How do I let her know she's being disrespectful to me and my family's beliefs without jeopardizing the friendship between our families? -- ATHEIST IN THE SOUTH

DEAR ATHEIST: I can't guarantee that the woman won't take offense, but it's less likely if you refrain from using the word "disrespectful." Try to remember that she thinks she's offering you the keys to the kingdom of heaven. It might be gentler if you told her that in light of the fact that you are an atheist, you find what she's trying to do to be "hurtful."

Continue to politely refuse her invitations to attend her church. If she's in the habit of quoting Scripture in normal conversation, you will have to grit your teeth and tolerate it. (Remember, we all have freedom of expression.) But I can't guarantee that you will always remain as close as you have been, not because she's hurt that you're not interested in being converted, but because at some point you may find her behavior so annoying that YOU will end the relationship.

DEAR ABBY: My wife, "Mimi," and I have been married nine years and together for 14. We have agreed that while we love each other, we are no longer "in love." We have stayed together because we're comfortable.

Mimi has just informed me that she's pregnant with someone else's baby and will be moving out soon. She is all I have known since we have been together. I feel lost and confused and sad. Do you have any advice? -- DEEPLY HURT IN TAMPA

DEAR DEEPLY HURT: Were you aware that your wife -- whom you say you are no longer in love with -- was seeing other men? If the answer is yes, then you should understand that what has happened is a logical progression. If not, then while you were comfortable with each other, you were not open and honest.

That you would feel sad is natural because there is loss involved in the demise of your relationship with Mimi. And so that this doesn't happen in your next relationship, I'm advising you to discuss this with a therapist. You have some grieving to do and it would be better if you don't do it alone.