DEAR ABBY: I read your letters every chance I get. They remind me that I'm not the only one with problems, but sometimes I just feel so empty.

I have random bouts where anything can send me into a crying jag and all I want to do is hide and go to sleep. I can be watching a funny TV show and out of nowhere feel like I need to run away and cry. It scares me that my moods can swing so drastically. I can also become angry every now and then when it's unprovoked.

I don't know what to do. My boyfriend tries to help, but he's at a loss as well. My medical insurance doesn't cover psychological help. Can you give me any advice? -- CRYING MYSELF TO SLEEP

DEAR CRYING: Check again with your insurance carrier, because your primary care provider may be able to order psychological services for you. If, however, that's not possible, your county department of mental health may be able to help you find counseling on a sliding financial scale. Or, contact a university with a medical school, if one is close by. Ask to speak to the Department of Psychiatry and inquire if someone on the staff deals with the problems you're experiencing.

If you live in a town with a college, find out if it has a psychology department and a graduate school. If so, does that graduate school have a psychology program and clinic that charges on a sliding scale and is the clinic staffed with graduate students? If not, inquire if someone on the staff of the department sees people privately and get the phone number.

Individuals can also get referrals from mental health organizations. The largest credentialed ones are the American Psychological Association, the American Psychiatric Association, the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy and the National Association of Social Workers. All of these organizations have professional standards and are legitimate resources.

I know this is a longer response than you may have expected, but I hope it helps you find what you need because it's time to enlist professional help in understanding your mood swings.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I had a disagreement about a recent birthday party we gave for our daughter. I was making party favors and putting the date of the party on them instead of our daughter's birthday on them. He said it should be the date of her birthday instead of the date of the party. What is the correct way it should be done -- put the date of the party, which is on a different date than her birthday, or put her birthdate on them? -- BELINDA IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR BELINDA: The date of the party should go on the invitations. The age the child has attained should go on the party favors, table decorations and, of course, the birthday cake.

DEAR ABBY: My son "Jeff" is wealthy and lives in another state with his wife and family. His wife has now moved her mother to where they live and she works for my son. Jeff and his family take vacations several times a year in the U.S. and out of it, and always include her mother or her father and his wife.

Two months ago, he invited his sister and niece to go with them. They were very excited, but a few days later he called them and said his wife wanted her mother to go, so the invitation was withdrawn.

My son and his wife don't think they did anything wrong, but there have been bad feelings ever since, and they continue to take her family everywhere. How would you handle this? Would you keep silent or speak to them? -- NOT INVITED IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR NOT INVITED: It appears your son's wife rules the roost. I don't blame your daughter for feeling hurt, because what your son did was insensitive and rude.

The problem with keeping silent is that hurt feelings fester and grow. If it were I, I wouldn't fume in silence. Your daughter should talk to her brother about what happened, and point out how hurtful rescinding the invitation was to her and her daughter. Getting it off her chest may make her feel better.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 69-year-old woman. I look my age because, unlike most of my friends, I don't color my hair. Sometimes when I'm shopping -- such as in a grocery store -- employees call me "young lady," as in "How are you today, young lady?" I find it condescending. Why is it necessary to make reference to my age? Obviously, they don't think I'm young at all. What would you say in these situations? -- IRRITATED IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR IRRITATED: You are asking a question I receive often. Older women not only resent being called "young lady," they also dislike being called "honey" and "sweetie" by someone who doesn't know them well. Because it bothers you, tell the person, "I know you're trying to be nice, but in the future, please use my name or call me 'ma'am.'" This is something you might also mention to the store manager, so he or she can remind the staff that not everyone appreciates the over-familiarity.

DEAR ABBY: Recently, on an airline flight, the passenger next to me put her feet (with shoes on) onto the headrest in front of her. No one was in the seat. Since she had her headphones on, I tapped her on the shoulder and indicated that it was unsanitary to put one's feet where normally a passenger's head should be. I got a dirty look for my efforts, and the young woman made quite a scene.

Should I have ignored the situation, or said something to the flight attendants? What do you recommend? -- UNSANITARY IN THE EAST

DEAR UNSANITARY: If you had quietly alerted the flight attendants and let them handle it, you would have spared yourself the unpleasantness you experienced. That's what I would recommend.

DEAR ABBY: My granddaughter, "Emily," is 13. I have been very involved with her all her life. My daughter, "Ginger," is divorced and has had a boyfriend, "Greg," for about three years, but there has been no talk of marriage.

Greg's mother has told Emily to call her "Grandma." Emily is OK with that, but it hurt my feelings, Abby.

I feel that Greg's mother should realize she's using a title that's not hers. I realize she's trying to make Emily feel like part of their family, but to me, this is my title, not hers. She has known Emily for three years, and while she's nice to her, I'm the one who has been doing grandma duties for 12 years -- not her. To me, she should be called something special but not "Grandma."

How do I cope with this? Shouldn't the other "grandma" have realized she's pushing herself into the position of the real grandma? -- HURT GRANDMA IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR HURT: You are taking this too personally. If Greg's mother wasn't hoping her son would marry your daughter, she would not be "embracing" Emily the way she has.

Your granddaughter does not love this woman more than she does you. Whether Greg's mother "should" realize she's treading on thin ice is something I cannot conjecture. However, I'm sure she didn't do this to annoy you. If you bring this up with her, you will annoy her, which will likely annoy her son and your daughter, so I advise against it. I'm betting that eventually she will become an official grandma -- however, if that doesn't happen, your problem will be solved because she'll be history.

DEAR ABBY: My husband's horrible sisters have invited themselves to our home in Florida. They hate me. One's husband sexually assaulted me five years ago. When I had her come and get him (he was drunk), she accused me of making it up! (Abby, she saw it happen.)

The other sister has never invited us over for dinners or special events. She's extremely obese and will break our furniture if she sits on it.

We are in our 70s, live modestly and can't afford this selfish intrusion. My husband says, "But they're my sisters!" Please help me get out of this. -- LOOKING FOR PEACE

DEAR LOOKING: I'll try. You and your husband are not joined at the hip. No law says you must be there. Yes, they are his sisters, so he can visit them in their homes, without you. 'Nuff said?

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend whose father recently passed away. Her mother passed away eight years ago. Everything was paid for -- all funeral arrangements and anything else you can think of.

She's wondering what to do with the money she received in the cards people sent her. Have masses? Donate it to charity? Her sibling took some of the cards from her mom's funeral and applied the money toward a vacation. My friend just wants to do the right thing. What is the right thing? -- WANTS TO DO WHAT'S RIGHT

DEAR WANTS: If the money isn't needed for expenses, it is the recipient's to do with as she (or he) wishes. However, a thoughtful and respectful thing to do would be for your friend to donate it to a charity her father supported, or toward research into a cure for the disease that took his life.