DEAR ABBY: I have a problem I haven't seen in your column before. My husband comes from a large family with siblings spread far and wide. We live in the home state and are happy to accommodate his brothers and sisters (families, dogs) when they come home to visit and ask to stay with us.

While it's never said openly, it quickly becomes clear that the purpose of their visit is to do activities with people other than my husband and me. In the past, we cleared our calendars and expected to entertain and feed these visitors. It becomes awkward when they unexpectedly leave for events with other people -- once a Christmas Eve dinner! Advice? -- AWKWARD IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR AWKWARD: Do not be confrontational, but when plans are being made for the next visit, you and your husband should ask his relatives which days or evenings you should expect to entertain them. That way you won't have needlessly cleared your calendar only to be left standing at the curb.

DEAR ABBY: My fiancee, "Mia," lost her dad two years ago, and her mother recently announced to the family that she is seeing someone. She has been staying over at his house, and she is planning to sell her home and move in with him. Mia is very upset about it.

Her mom is now in the process of getting rid of her father's belongings. She feels like her mom is erasing her father from their lives. How long should her mother have waited? Is Mia being selfish? Shouldn't she be happy for her mother? -- GOING FORWARD IN THE EAST

DEAR GOING: I hesitate to call your fiancee selfish as much as self-centered. Her mother has waited a respectful amount of time. She isn't erasing her late husband from her life or her children's as much as going on with hers, which is healthy.

I wish you had mentioned how long she has been seeing the man she's planning on moving in with, because it might be pertinent. For her own protection, she should discuss her plans with her lawyer to ensure that she -- and her assets -- are safeguarded before she sells her house.

DEAR ABBY: A good friend of mine is giving a baby shower next month for her grandson and granddaughter-in-law. She wants to invite many of her longtime friends to the shower, but most of them have little or no history or relationship with her grandson or his wife, and neither one really wants them to be invited. The grandmother, however, thinks it would be rude not to. Your thoughts? -- INVITED IN THE WEST

DEAR INVITED: Someone should remind your good friend that the celebration is not for her, and that showers aren't supposed to be hosted by close relatives but by friends of the honoree. Not only would your friend's contemporaries not be offended if they are not invited, they would probably feel relieved. People of Great-Grandma-To-Be's generation have been through so many showers they aren't likely to have hurt feelings if the younger generation takes over, unless they're very close to the honoree.

DEAR ABBY: I have multiple chronic health conditions. Because my symptoms are worsened by a lot of foods, I'm on a highly restricted diet. If I stay on it, I feel as well as possible. (I never feel entirely well.)

When I go to friends' homes for dinner or parties, would it be rude for me to bring along something for myself that I can eat that won't make me sick? I can have no grains, no dairy, no eggs, no sugar, the list goes on and on, but I could always bring extra food to share if you think that would be appropriate.

I have been eating before I go and then claiming not to be hungry, but I feel it would be rude to do this at dinner parties. What do you suggest I do? I prefer that my health not be a topic of conversation. -- CAN'T EAT JACK

DEAR CAN'T: Your health won't be a topic of conversation at these gatherings if you discuss this with your host(s) at the time you are invited to the party. Explain that you are on a severely restricted diet, picking at their food might be interpreted as rude and you don't wish to come across that way. Ask if you can bring your own food with you. I'm sure your hosts will understand and tell you to enjoy their hospitality (if not their food) because they welcome your company.

DEAR ABBY: My biological mother gave me up at birth. Her reason for doing it changes every time I ask. I joined the Navy right out of high school and left the service at 25. Less than a month later, she contacted me. It turns out that I have three half-siblings, but I have no desire to connect with them.

She waited 25 years to contact me, and I was the only one of my siblings she gave up. Does it make me a bad person that I have no emotional connection to my biological family? -- NO FEELINGS IN THE EAST

DEAR NO FEELINGS: No, it does not. Whatever her reason for surrendering you, you have built a good life. Please stop feeling guilty for moving forward and living it. Doing so does not make you a bad person, only a healthy one.

DEAR ABBY: I'm unsure about how to proceed with my niece. She is struggling with child-rearing and debt.

Twenty-five years ago, when she was 16, my sister "Nan" and her husband threw her out on the street. I took her in for two years. Until she graduated from high school, she lived with me and my two daughters. She reconciled with my sister at the time of her graduation. After that I backed off, trying to let Nan perform her role as mom.

I have had a bumpy road with my sister since then, but until a year ago, we were doing OK. Now Nan has declared all-out war on me, and nothing I do or say seems to make any difference. I think her issues are political, but she refuses to discuss them, so I can't be sure.

I have backed off from mothering my niece for many years. But she clearly needs some family support and guidance, which I am able to offer so she can get back on her feet. She's a wonderful woman who is raising two lovely children, but a serious illness is preventing her from providing long-term security for herself or her kids.

I no longer feel obligated to stay at arm's length from her, but am I wrong? Nan will view any support for her daughter as interference in her family, and I don't want to cause problems with their relationship. I no longer care about my relationship with my sister, which seems irreparable, but I don't want to put my niece in an awkward position. She truly needs the help that I am prepared to give. Any advice on what I should do? -- LOVING AUNTIE

DEAR AUNTIE: Your niece is fortunate to have such a caring aunt. You saved her life. Offer the help she needs; it's the right thing to do. If she's afraid it will damage her relationship with her mother, she is free to refuse it.

As to your relationship with your possibly unstable sister, defend yourself as much as possible from her attacks, keep your distance and do not attempt to heal your fractured family because you cannot fix what's wrong with her.

DEAR ABBY: Please do not publish my name or city. I'm a senior male in a six-year, happy relationship with a wonderful, understanding lady. But after decades of exploration and study, I have come to accept that I am nonbinary and/or gender fluid. My sexual expression -- and orientation -- shifts back and forth over time. This is far more than simply wearing ladies' underwear or craving sex with men.

I live in an extremely conservative, mid-sized city, where there is practically no acceptance of gays or lesbians, and intersex people are unheard of. There are no knowledgeable doctors, counselors or support groups anywhere nearby. It would be so comforting to find someone like myself to share these feelings with. Is it even possible? -- UNCOMFORTABLY QUIET IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR QUIET: Have you searched online for the wealth of information on sexuality and gender identity? PFLAG, the excellent organization I have mentioned in my column before, has a chapter in your city, which has for many years provided support and information to LGBTQ individuals and their families. It will also guide you to other resources nearby. Please go to pflag.org and search on your geographical area. Trust me, if you do, you'll be glad you did.