DEAR ABBY: The 22-year-old daughter of close friends of ours has been living in a van during the pandemic. Her parents, my husband and I heard her on her cellphone talking about a party where her friends were doing meth. No one reacted except me. I said, "That's terrifying!" and she answered, "Right?"

I cannot stop worrying about this young woman, who I have watched grow since she was a baby. The red spots on her face, which I had assumed were from acne, now haunt me. What can I do?

I had offered her the use of our driveway, if needed, but I don't want meth users here because I have two college-age sons, so now I regret even that. I feel since she broached the topic she was asking for help. Her mom let it completely slide. Help! -- SICK WITH WORRY IN COLORADO

DEAR SICK: The baby you watched grow up is now an adult. If you think she was asking for help because she is addicted to methamphetamine, talk to her and offer to help her get it. IF she says she wants to move her van to your property, explain that as long as she is using and/or partying with contemporaries who do, the offer is off the table.

As to her parents who, from what you wrote, appear to be clueless, tell them you are alarmed and why, and urge them to go online and educate themselves about the symptoms of meth addiction, which include facial sores.

DEAR ABBY: I have a wonderful husband. He is very outgoing, and I would like to think of myself as the same, but I work hard. He always makes plans for the weekends, but sometimes I just want to stay home, relax and get the house in order. The problem is, he insists we go and do something like day or overnight trips hours away every weekend. I encourage him to go visit our friends because I know I can trust him, and I need some alone time! Am I wrong for that? -- PEACEFUL AND STILL

DEAR PEACEFUL: You are not wrong. You are as entitled to your feelings as your husband is to his. Things should not always have to be his way. The two of you need to work out a compromise. (Compromise is the secret ingredient in happy marriages.) If he feels the need to get away and it doesn't bother you because you trust him, you should be entitled to time at home to get the place -- and your head -- straight.

DEAR ABBY: I am my husband's second wife. His first wife died of cancer eight years ago. His late wife's mother still calls him her son-in-law and introduces him as such. She also asks him to help her with things around the house, like getting mulch and remodeling the bath. She invites all of us over to holidays, but I can't help but feel awkward. Am I overreacting? Shouldn't she find someone else to help her now that bond is broken? -- IN THE PRESENT IN INDIANA

DEAR IN THE PRESENT: If the bond were broken, your husband's former mother-in-law would find someone else, and your husband would help her to do it. He may still feel like a member of that family. Please be smart and less defensive. The woman is making an effort to include you in her celebrations. Accept the gesture for what it is and be gracious.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together for 11 years, married for eight. We have been through a lot together, which has served to strengthen our marriage. My husband is my Prince Charming and my happily forever after.

Recently, he has discovered that he likes wearing women's clothes. It started with him wearing women's underwear under his clothes, which didn't bother me. I even bought him a few pair I liked. It has progressed quickly.

He assures me that he isn't gay, he does not want to become a woman or want to dress in women's clothes full time. However, some of his behaviors have changed, and his wearing women's clothing has increased. When I tried discussing my concerns with him, he said I was being irrational. We fought, and I thought we had worked some things out, but he still has an attitude.

I'm terrified that this is the beginning of the end of my marriage, and I don't want to lose him. But I also don't know just how much of this I can accept or how far he wants to go. He says if I can't accept it, he will stop doing it. But we will both know that he has that desire, and I don't want to stifle something that seems to mean so much to him. I have no one I can talk to about this, Abby. Please help. -- STRUGGLING IN FLORIDA

DEAR STRUGGLING: Take the opportunity to learn all you can about cross-dressing. More men than you may think engage in it, and the majority are heterosexual. An excellent support group for cross-dressers and wives of men who need (not "like") to cross-dress is The Society for the Second Self (Tri Ess). Its website is tri-ess.org. Go there and you will find the support and answers you're looking for.

Keep the lines of communication with your husband open and honest. Only the two of you can determine how to navigate through this. For many couples, it's not necessarily a deal-breaker.

DEAR ABBY: When I was 21, I got pregnant with "Earl," a guy who had nothing to his name but a bicycle. It was three weeks after we met. Earl was 24. Two years later we split. I was working and he was a stay-at-home dad, and I couldn't stand it.

Five years later, I married a very wealthy man, moved to another country and lived a life of luxury. Thirteen years later we split. I left our small island and moved back, still well off on my own.

Earl was my rock and is a totally different man now. Sixteen years later, I have fallen head over heels for him. He has become everything I've always wanted. Our son wasn't crazy about it at first (he's 18), but now loves it. Earl's mother said she knew it would end up this way. My parents have reservations. Do you think we have a fighting chance? -- NEW EXPAT IN NEVADA

DEAR NEW EXPAT: Earl is not the person he was and, frankly, neither are you. Do the two of you have a fighting chance? Absolutely. However, before marrying anyone again, it is important that you discuss this with an attorney and have in place a signed prenuptial agreement. While it may not seem romantic, it's the intelligent thing to do.

DEAR ABBY: I have been with "Dylan" for three years, engaged for two. I have a lot of insecurities about it.

We met right after my husband's death. Dylan was the perfect guy in the beginning. Looking back, I realize there were a lot of red flags.

He spends most of his time on Facebook or talking about his high school years. He is also secretive. He acts like the world's nicest guy around others, but when we're alone, he calls me stupid and insecure. I never knew what a narcissist was before, but I believe he is one.

I built a business, which has done very well. I'm liked by everyone but him. People have told me to run. Why do I torture myself? Last week he broke my windshield because I asked him about his phone, which he is always using to text someone. I want to be happy, and I feel like a loser right now. My kids don't like him at all. Help me, please. -- UNHAPPY IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR UNHAPPY: I am concerned about you. Because you now feel that your verbally abusive fiance could become violent (Exhibit A: your broken windshield), place a call to the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233) and ask someone to help you craft an escape plan. Your next call should be to the police to file a report about that broken windshield. Your third should be to your family to find out if you and your kids can stay with one of your relatives.

It is important you get safely out of there, so do not disclose to this man any of the preparations you are making. It goes without saying that this engagement should be broken.

DEAR ABBY: I have an issue that I can't be the only one with, especially as our parents age. My mother has never been the cleanest or most sanitary of housekeepers. Everything "looks" neat and straight, but look closer and you'll realize her place is unsanitary and filthy.

When I visit, I am near tears the entire time. My husband tells me to stay in a hotel, but I don't know how to tell my mother I don't feel comfortable staying with her. I bring along my own towels and washcloths. I take us out for meals so we don't have to use her dishes.

I'm not a clean freak, and this is not my imagination. A friend of hers contacted me to tell me she was concerned about Mom because she doesn't seem to notice how dirty her house is or that her food is spoiled. I'm embarrassed for her.

I've tried to talk to my mother about this many times in the past, but she just doesn't get it. I have had her carpets shampooed and brought in professionals to do deep cleaning. How can I tell her I can't stay with her any longer? -- GROSSED-OUT DAUGHTER IN MARYLAND

DEAR DAUGHTER: Tell your mother that you love her, and you have been concerned for years about her living conditions, which is why you hired professional cleaners periodically to help her. Delivering the message that you will be staying in a hotel when you visit is the least of your problems. Clearly, she needs more help than you can give her.

I, too, am concerned about the fact she doesn't know the food in her refrigerator has spoiled, and for that reason, I'm suggesting you discuss this with a social worker in the town where your mother resides. She may need someone to check on her regularly, ensure that her kitchen and fridge are kept clean and grocery shop for her. Believe me, you and your mother both have my sympathy.