DEAR ABBY: I am on hydrocodone for my back pain, and my wife keeps taking my medication because she says her back hurts. I have threatened to leave her, turn her in to the police and tell our children. She quits stealing the meds for a while and then starts up again. What can I do? Should I turn her in to the police or what? -- IN PAIN IN INDIANA

DEAR IN PAIN: Do not turn your wife in to the police. Take control of your medications and keep them somewhere she can't pilfer them until you no longer need them. Inform your doctor that your wife has been stealing your pain meds and appears to have developed an addiction. If she hasn't already, she should have a doctor diagnose and treat her back pain separately from yours.

DEAR ABBY: An adopted family member tragically lost a close member of her biological family a while ago. Her grief has been intense, and she continues to air it on social media. The rest of us have been drenched in her tears long enough. She needs to get on with her life, which includes a husband, two kids and an adoptive family that has loved and supported her through her time of grief. What would be a kind and tactful way to let her know she has overstayed her time on the pity potty? -- ENOUGH ALREADY IN MONTANA

DEAR ENOUGH ALREADY: NO! Please don't do that. Everyone grieves differently. Some heal quickly; others never get over their loss. Because you can no longer cope with the poor woman's grief, quit reading her posts. The most helpful thing you could offer her would be to suggest she ask her doctor or her spiritual adviser about the various grief support groups in her area.

DEAR ABBY: When I met my boyfriend several years ago, he had a long mohawk nearly reaching his shoulders. He likes having long hair, and frankly, it suits him. However, during the last couple of years he has taken the pandemic as license to let it grow as long as it can get. His hair now reaches more than halfway down his back.

The issue is that my grandmother recently passed away. She was a devout Catholic, and I'm worried my boyfriend's hair won't be appropriate for the funeral. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but the thought of him looking so unruly at the service really bothers me. I'm thinking about asking him to cut it to collar length, but I don't want to overstep since it's his hair. Should I say something or let it go? -- GROOMED IN THE EAST

DEAR GROOMED: Do not ask your boyfriend to cut a foot off his hair for the funeral. Suggest instead that he wear it slicked back into a ponytail or a man bun. I have seen young men similarly coiffed, and it looks fine.

DEAR ABBY: My first wife and I married in 1989, divorced in 1994 and eventually married others. My second marriage also ended in divorce; hers ended with the death of her husband. A year and a half after his passing, she invited me to dinner. We talked for hours, and we both admitted there is still love between us.

We decided to start seeing each other, but she told me she needs to go slow, which I understand. We have been seeing each other for seven months now, but she has been running hot and cold. She gets close, then pulls back. I haven't said anything about it because I'm trying to be understanding.

Last month, she really pulled back, and we haven't seen each other since then. We text, but that's all. Now I don't know what to think. I'm sure last month was hard for her because it marked the anniversary of her husband's death. This is also hard on me. I don't know what to do. I would greatly appreciate any advice you may have. -- HOPING FOR THE BEST

DEAR HOPING: Your ex-wife may still be grieving the loss of her husband and, although she has feelings for you, may not be ready to make the kind of commitment you're looking for. You are overdue for a face-to-face conversation with her about the fact that when you feel you get close, she backs away.

A lot has happened to both of you since your long-ago divorce. There could be any number of reasons for her behavior, and you deserve some honest answers before deciding whether or not to continue pursuing her. If she's honorable, she will give them to you.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I recently hosted a dinner party for six close friends. I spent the day cleaning, cooking and setting the table nicely with flowers. Our guests were supposed to arrive at 5 p.m., but didn't show up until 6. One couple brought their dog along, and proceeded to give it a bone on our newly cleaned couch.

The guests talked only with each other, and anytime my husband and I tried to talk, we were interrupted and the subject was changed back to their personal discussions, which included making plans for the next evening, cellphones ringing and calls being taken, etc.

One of the men was extremely rude. He complained about the ingredients of the food, demanded to move to the head of the table and made negative remarks throughout the meal, after which he abruptly announced he was tired and wanted to go home immediately.

My husband and I were very upset after they left, and my husband said he never wants to have them for dinner again. I need your advice because I'm close friends with the women and would like to clear the air. Meanwhile, I received two texts the next day thanking me for the "great dinner" and "lovely time." -- HOSTESS WITH THE MOSTEST

DEAR HOSTESS: The man who criticized your cooking and demanded to be moved to the head of the table should be stricken from your guest list. The couple who fed their dog a bone on your newly cleaned couch should be given the opportunity to pay for having it cleaned again if there are stains on it.

In the future, when you issue an invitation, it appears you will have to specify that you expect your guests to show up on time and leave their pets at home. If anyone is offended by that, perhaps they are not such "close friends" after all.

DEAR ABBY: I am blessed to have a wonderfully supportive family, which includes my and my husband's siblings. I was recently scheduled for major abdominal surgery. For the weeks leading up to it, I quietly went about preparing the house and putting systems in place so I could be absent, but otherwise tried not to dwell on the upcoming unpleasantness.

Most of my support people checked in occasionally to see how I was doing or if I needed anything. One sister-in-law, however, has been over-the-top. She sends cards, texts, flowers and calls. I appreciate her support, but it's too much. The cards always say the same thing -- "heal gently" and "these are the good old days of medicine." In the weeks leading up to surgery and afterward, I have received nearly a dozen cards, plus her texts, etc.

Is there a nice way to let her know it is too much and I'm tired? My body reminds me every day that I'm healing, but slowly. I don't want the attention and the reminder that I'm not yet where I'd like to be. Please let me know if there's a polite, graceful way to make it STOP! -- PROGRESSING IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR PROGRESSING: A "nice" way to phrase it might be to say, "Honey, I am grateful for all the support you've been giving me, but the surgery is behind me now, and I am slowly regaining my strength. Please don't send me any more get-well cards -- the dozen you have sent have already worked their magic."

DEAR ABBY: I am writing because I'm concerned about my husband's drinking. We have been married 35 years and we love each other very much. We are both retired. He drinks at least a six-pack a day. Although he doesn't appear to be intoxicated, I know this has to mean he is an alcoholic. Because he doesn't drink and drive, he thinks this is fine. Besides being unhealthy and giving him a huge beer gut, it's expensive. Your thoughts, please. -- CONCERNED WIFE IN GEORGIA

DEAR WIFE: Schedule your and your husband's "annual medical checkups," regardless of how long they may have been delayed. Before you go in, the doctor should be informed that your beloved hubby imbibes a six-pack per day -- at the very least. Whether this will motivate the doctor to encourage him to quit or cut back is anybody's guess, but I am hopeful.

You could benefit from attending some Al-Anon meetings. Al-Anon is an offshoot of Alcoholics Anonymous that helps the families and friends of individuals who have an alcohol problem. I am sure if you do, you will not only find it enlightening, but also beneficial for the practical advice and emotional support it offers. Go to al-anon.org/info for more information.

DEAR READERS: This is my annual reminder for all of you who live where daylight saving time is observed: Don't forget to turn your clocks forward one hour tonight at bedtime. Daylight saving time begins at 2 a.m. tomorrow. I love this ritual because it signals the coming of spring and with it longer, brighter days and warmer weather. For me, it's a mood elevator and an energizer. May spring bring good things your way! -- LOVE, ABBY