DEAR ABBY: Last night I went to a party where my husband introduced me to all of his co-workers except for one young female who kept hanging out beside him. She's about 25 years younger than he is, and he's her boss.
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I thought it was odd that he didn't introduce me. I finally introduced myself because it felt so awkward. He often talks about her (affectionately, in my opinion) and what a hard worker she is, plus that her mother is going through cancer treatment so he feels bad for her.
Abby, my husband has worked with this young woman's father for more than 25 years and has always talked about how much he dislikes him. He says she's the "polar opposite" of her dad. These people are firefighters, and my husband is their battalion chief.
Our marriage has suffered because of his 25 years of alcoholism, and although he's no longer drinking, the effect on me continues. I have learned to pick my battles because he will deny anything that I ask or change a story so I seem "crazy." My question is, should I ask my husband why he didn't introduce me? The whole situation didn't feel right. -- UNCOMFORTABLE IN THE WEST
DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: Sure. You have the right to ask your husband anything you wish. Whether you can get an honest answer from someone who regularly gaslights you is another question entirely. After he denies it, tell your husband how glad you are to know that nothing is going on because, unlike years ago, sexual impropriety between a boss and a subordinate could cost both parties their careers. Then, to ensure that you haven't been exposed to an STD, make an appointment with your doctor to be tested.