DEAR ABBY: I've been married for eight years. I love my wife with my heart and soul. The problem is, although I'm in love with her, I still love my ex-wife. I never actually expressed these feelings toward my ex until recently. I write to her and call her, hoping she will answer. I don't want to leave my wife because she's a good woman. But so was my ex. What can I do?

Every time my wife and I have a disagreement, I start thinking about my ex and what life would've been like if I had stayed with her. I find myself thinking about her more and more often each day. I know my ex still loves me, although she won't come out and say it. Is it OK to be in love with one and still love the other? -- LOTS OF LOVE IN FLORIDA

DEAR LOTS: May I inject a sliver of reality into your fantasy? You say you "know" your ex-wife still loves you although she won't come out and say it, nor does she answer your passionate letters. I'd say her refusal to communicate sends a pretty strong message that she doesn't feel the way you do.

I don't know what is wrong in your current marriage, but if you don't stop pining over the wife you dumped, you are going to lose this one, too. Counseling may help you accomplish this, and it is what I strongly recommend. Start now.

DEAR ABBY: We recently moved to a new neighborhood. My 8-year-old son, "Joey," has become best friends with a classmate, "Paul," who lives on our street. We know from research we did when we bought our house that Paul's stepfather, with whom he lives, is a sex offender who committed crimes against children and served time in prison.

Paul has been coming to our house most days, which is fine. However, both Paul and Joey have started asking whether Joey can go play at Paul's house. I will never allow my son to play there. At some point, the boys will want an explanation, but I don't think Paul knows about his stepfather's past, and I don't think Paul's mother knows that I know.

If I tell Joey an age-appropriate version of the truth, I am sure he will tell Paul. I don't think this is how Paul should hear about his stepfather's past, plus I am concerned it might cause Paul's mother to get upset and cut off the kids' friendship. Do you have any advice? -- CONFLICTED IN THE WEST

DEAR CONFLICTED: Are you absolutely certain that you have the story right and Paul's stepdad is a registered sex offender? I ask because I'm surprised that he would be allowed to live in a household with a minor child.

Your concern that Joey might tell Paul about his stepfather is laudable. A way to handle it would be to continue insisting that the boys play only at your house. I do think you should discuss this with Paul's mother so you know for sure this is what you are dealing with. If it is true, for the next few years use the old, "Because I'm your mother and I said so!" when Joey asks to visit Paul. Eventually, the truth is going to come out, but Paul should hear it from his mother.

DEAR ABBY: I grew up in a big lower-class family in which there has always been drama, fights, gossip, etc. I made a vow to myself that when I had my own family, I would raise them better. I keep myself and my children distanced from all of that. Am I wrong for keeping them away from my family? I don't like drama or problems. Sometimes I miss my family, but after a while, I get overwhelmed. -- SEPARATE IN CHICAGO

DEAR SEPARATE: As a parent, your responsibility is to protect your children. If you feel exposing them to something might be harmful, you are within your rights to keep them away. However, if you are raising your children in a healthy environment, exposing them to your family drama in limited doses isn't likely to be harmful. Afterward, if your relatives behaved badly, use it as a teaching moment. Use them as a "bad example" and point out that in YOUR family, you do not behave that way.

DEAR ABBY: I am a single man who recently turned 40. I am looking to find a wife who, like myself, has never been married and has no kids. I joined several dating websites, but most of the women are divorced or widowed or have kids.

I just discovered a new dating website for single, never married people. I'm not sure if I should join it, but having a website designed for people like me is a great idea. I have read that 25% of all Americans have never been married. Pew Research just reported a brand-new poll and millions of Americans have never been married, so I am not losing hope. Should I join? -- CONTEMPLATING IN FLORIDA

DEAR CONTEMPLATING: By all means, explore that new dating site. When you do, expect to meet women who are considerably younger than you. Remember, however, that once you connect, you will have to take all of the precautions that people on other sites do to ensure that you do not get misled. Dating, regardless of how you meet someone, can be risky. I wish you luck.

DEAR ABBY: I have a neighbor who lives across the street. She's in her late 70s. We've been friendly until recently, when she came to visit with me for coffee. We talked about many different things that day. She had brought me a present and homemade cookies, which was nice.

When I mentioned something that apparently she didn't like or believe, she stood up, announced that she didn't come over to feel "uncomfortable" and left in a huff! I emailed her and sent a handwritten apology, but she hasn't spoken to me since. What should I do with her unopened gift and cookies? I don't feel comfortable accepting them. -- DAZED AND CONFUSED

DEAR D & C: How sad that your neighbor wasn't able to tell you what it was you said that made her so uncomfortable she felt she had to end the relationship. (Perhaps you could have straightened it out at the time.) However, her decision seems to have been made, and you will have to accept it. Because you now feel uncomfortable accepting them, return her gift and the cookies.

DEAR ABBY: I am 34 and recently found out I have started menopause. I knew it might come early for me because most of the women in my family began in their 30s and were done by 50. I have no biological children and now probably never will. I guess I waited too long for the right time, the right person, etc. I was always careful to use birth control when I became sexually active and never left it up to my partner.

I am now having a hard time coping with this feeling of loss. I know I shouldn't be grieving something I never had, but I find myself tearing up thinking about it. I'm angry at myself for missing out on it. I have been married to a wonderful man for almost two years, but we have been together for 10. I wanted to be married and financially stable before having children.

I feel like I'm being punished. My poor husband takes the brunt of my frustrations and anger, which isn't fair, and I apologize when it happens, but I find myself slowly drifting into isolation because of it. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm sad, angry, frustrated and empty. I wish I had an answer or anyone who understands to just hear me. Any advice? -- GRIEVING IN OREGON

DEAR GRIEVING: Your feelings are understandable. It's time to seek counseling for help to stop blaming yourself or your husband and cope with your feelings of sadness, anger and frustration. Once that is done, it may be time to consider your options for fulfilling your maternal instincts. These include fostering, adoption, surrogacy and volunteer mentoring. Please consider them.

DEAR ABBY: Three years ago, I discovered I was being excluded by my co-workers. I have tried to not let it bother me, but it's starting to wear me down emotionally. I work in a dental office with a staff of seven women. I have worked with two of them for almost 20 years, and I always thought we had a friendship because we would go to lunch together and occasionally do things outside of work.

Three years ago, I learned they have a group chat with two of the other women and have gotten together outside of work and didn't include me. What bothers me most is they laugh and talk in front of me about the funny memes and videos they send each other.

I'm tired of being excluded, and I don't understand why they have done it. We all get along, so I'm not sure why this is happening. Any advice on what I should say or do? -- APART IN ILLINOIS

DEAR APART: Folks are entitled to socialize (or not) with anyone they would like after work. However, to treat you the way they have been seems insensitive, bordering on rude, and you have every right to say so the next time it happens. It may lead to a "difficult" discussion, but you have a right to tell them how it affects you. Do not depend upon your co-workers to be personal friends, which may not be possible. I encourage you to cultivate social relationships outside the office from now on.