DEAR ABBY: Should I be mad at the father of my unborn child for not coming with me to travel out of the country? My cousin is being married in Mexico. However, my partner, "Gabriel," isn't going because one of his good friends is getting married the same weekend.
Advertisement
We found out only recently that I am pregnant, and by the time my cousin's wedding comes around, I'll be five months along. My family will be going, but they already booked their flights, which are now sold out, so I will have to travel pregnant and alone in Mexico.
The night I found out I was pregnant, Gabriel told me he would go with me, as he didn't want the mother of his unborn child to travel alone to a different country. However, as the wedding got closer, he said he no longer wants to go, as it will be expensive and he'd miss his friend's wedding.
Abby, am I wrong for being upset that he doesn't want to come with me? I think I'm more disappointed because I assumed he'd want to be protective in this situation, but it almost feels like he's choosing his friend over us. I know I am biased and my emotions are high, but I really want to be level-headed about this and try to understand. -- EXPECTANT TRAVELER IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR TRAVELER: Forgive me if this seems harsh, but what you should understand is your partner is self-centered and more concerned with the good time he will have with his buddy than he is about the soon-to-be mother of his child. This should be an indication of the kind of husband and father he may make if you plan to marry him.
That said, if your doctor says you are OK to travel, your family will be around to keep an eye on you, so you shouldn't be in danger. The independence you demonstrate now may be necessary in whatever future you have with -- or without -- your partner.