DEAR ABBY: My son-in-law and I had words five years ago. Two years ago, I wrote him a letter of apology and told him it was always "family first." My daughter confirmed he received the letter.

They recently had their fourth child. We haven't seen their first since he was 2 or the second since she was born, and we've seen the third only once. I don't know how to repair this situation. My daughter and I chat only when her husband is not around. She's a police officer, and I don't want to cause her any stress that could affect her on the job. He has blocked me on social media as well as my phone calls. What can I do? -- SORRY MOTHER-IN-LAW IN THE EAST

DEAR SORRY: That must have been some argument you had with your son-in-law. What took you three years to apologize? If he no longer wants anything to do with you, no one can force him, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to see the children when he's not around. If you haven't already suggested this to your daughter, give it a try.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 37-year-old woman with a very supportive husband. I love him dearly, but I have some concerns. We have no children although we tried for years. Then I found out I have PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome). I can still have a child, but now, because of my age, a bad back and a bad knee, I have kind of given up. My husband and I are overweight, though I am trying to lose weight. It's hard. I also suffer from depression. Am I doing the right thing by giving up and putting myself first? -- STRUGGLING IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR STRUGGLING: It is important to put yourself first. Before deciding whether to bring a child into this world, you need to get yourself back in shape physically and emotionally. Once that's done, you will be in a better position to decide whether you are equal to the responsibilities of motherhood.

DEAR ABBY: I have known "Mona" for 25 years and thought we were friends. She bought some patio furniture from me but still owes me $100. When I tried to contact her about it, she blocked me. I wanted to post this on Facebook without saying her name, but I'm taking the high road.

We've never had arguments, and I don't understand her behavior. Mona is the one always saying, "I love you" and "I'm praying for you," and then she pulls this? She has lied to me in the past, but I never called her on it because it didn't matter to me. What are your thoughts? -- TURNING POINT IN MICHIGAN

DEAR TURNING POINT: When you first realized that Mona was lying to you, you should have called her on it and revised your opinion of her. Mona appears to be not only a hypocrite but also a user. Be glad the lesson you have learned has cost you only $100 because it could have cost you more. As to my thoughts, I think you should stay far away from Mona and find friends who understand that friendship is reciprocal.

DEAR ABBY: I have been around "Kendra" since she was 4. I am 59 and not married to her mother, although we are good friends. Kendra is 36 now and has an 8-year-old son. She lives with her boyfriend, who is the father. They are not married. We have a great relationship.

For some reason, over the past four months, my feelings for Kendra have grown into an infatuation. I mean, I have always loved her, but now I wish I was with her. I want to be with her. My feelings are so strong, I would even marry her. I know she loves me, but I doubt in the way I love her now.

I don't want to destroy what we have, but it's killing me that I can't be with her. I have jealous feelings like a kid. I love her very much and would never do anything to hurt her. I guess I'm just a stupid old man thinking this way, but I can't help it. I can honestly say I'm in love with her. I am confused about what I need to do. -- LOVING HER IN THE EAST

DEAR LOVING: What happened four months ago that changed your feelings about Kendra from the paternal ones you have felt for the last 32 years? If you express to her the (lustful) feelings you are harboring, you will blow the entire family apart. An appropriate place to examine your feelings would be in the office of a licensed psychotherapist. Please don't wait.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Jake," tells his mother where we plan to go and what we plan to do on our "date nights." On several occasions, she has actually shown up. She pretends to be surprised when she sees us, asking us "what we're up to." She doesn't try to sit with us or hang around, thank goodness, but she's there, watching and listening from a short distance. She has never liked me, and I suspect this is another of her passive-aggressive ways to get under my skin.

Our date nights are an active effort to try to save our marriage. The first time she showed up, I told Jake I didn't like it and that it better not happen again. He assured me it wouldn't. I also asked him to stop telling her where we're going and what we're going to do. He hasn't done that. He says he "can't" tell his mother to leave because it's a public place, and she has every right to be there, too. What should I do? -- HAD IT IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR HAD IT: If you and Jake are serious about saving your marriage and not yet in marriage counseling, start talking with a licensed marriage and family therapist now. Jake appears to be a man who can't say no to his mother. Your MIL does have a right to patronize any restaurant she pleases, but she should not be hovering over your shoulders. A therapist may be able to help you get that message across to your husband, whose priorities appear to be skewed.

In the meantime, YOU should take charge of your date nights. Make the reservations and tell no one where you are going -- even your husband.

DEAR ABBY: Eight years ago, my husband of 26 years had a stroke, and his personality changed. He was difficult to deal with, but, with time, his old personality came back, and things got better.

Two years ago, he finally kicked a longtime prescription drug habit. Our finances improved almost overnight (for which I am grateful), but his personality changed again. This change has been neither pleasant nor easy to deal with. Some days, he gets angry with me for talking to him about even the simplest things, like traffic or the weather.

Don't get me wrong -- I don't want him to go back to abusing drugs, but I want my best friend back. For at least a year now, I've been begging him to go to marriage counseling with me. He says he will but has put no effort into finding a counselor. He grew up in the small town we live in, so I want him to choose the counselor because I may accidentally choose someone he knows and doesn't want to talk to.

I'm afraid he will never make an appointment, so should I just find a counselor for myself? I don't want to throw away 26 years of marriage, but some days, all I think about is running away. -- SADDENED ON THE EAST COAST

DEAR SADDENED: I don't know what could be the cause of your husband's anger, and neither will you until you get to the bottom of it. Do not allow the fact that he is stalling prevent you from consulting a licensed marriage and family therapist.

Compile a list of counseling services not only in your town but also some neighboring communities. Once you have the names, show the list to your husband and ask if he knows any of them. Then make an appointment for both of you with one or more therapists and interview them. If he refuses to accompany you, go on your own.

DEAR ABBY: Not long ago, my husband replaced the key entry lock on the front door of our house with a digital one. Ever since, the door does not latch when you go in or out. (It "bounces" and doesn't catch.) I've told him it needs to be fixed, but he insists I need to "just pull it." Abby, this door always latched before. Workers come in and out of the house, and I'm very concerned.

My husband is fighting me tooth and nail on this for some odd reason, and I'm ready to leave him. I told him I will get the door fixed (on his credit card) if he doesn't do it. He still refuses. I'm done! I want a secure front door. What the hell is wrong here? We've been married 40 years. Do you recommend a divorce attorney? -- UNSAFE IN TEXAS

DEAR UNSAFE: I do not recommend a divorce attorney. You deserve to feel safe in your own home. Stop fighting with your husband, become proactive and get the darn door fixed. Because he won't help, remember the adage, "If you want something done right, do it yourself," then step forward and take charge.