DEAR ABBY: I have three kids. One of them, "Jake," is in his early 20s. He has medical issues, so he has always been babied to a certain degree. Jake has struggled with jobs, drugs, friends and places to live. Somehow, he always ends up back with me. I know I'm an enabler. I have kicked him out before, but I never give up on him. I try to be a positive role model because his father has never been in his life.

Due to his past mishaps, Jake has wronged a lot of people who now shun him. I lose quality time with my other kids because they refuse to be around him. I have a soft spot for my "black sheep" because I am the one in my family. I am pretty much the only one who helps him, and in his eyes, I'm the only one who "cares."

But I have finally reached the point where I feel he needs to grow up and stop jumping from job to job, house to house, friend to friend and calling me for help. How do I let him know without making him feel he is not wanted? I love him, but I am done being his enabler. -- REACHED THE POINT IN FLORIDA

DEAR REACHED: Tell Jake before his next crisis that you love him but are done being his enabler. Tell him his persistent problems are self-generated, and from now on he will have to solve them without involving you, which is what adults do, and that you are doing this for his own good. Then stick to it. To do this may require your talking with a therapist because it is almost guaranteed your son will be back trying to enlist your help. But it was your abundance of help that fostered his being in the situation he's in today.

DEAR ABBY: I worked for a supervisor for more than five years who hated me and let me and everyone else know it. She would bring treats for the crew but not for me. During my fifth year of working for her, I just lost it one day. She walked up to me and after some back and forth said, "F--- you!" I said it back to her, loud enough for everyone in the front office to hear.

It was a big mess, but I couldn't hold it in anymore. I'd been picked on and harassed and worked in a hostile work environment. Anyway, that supervisor was ultimately forced to retire, as were some of her favorites.

My problem now is that my ex-supervisor's friends who still work in the office are making it difficult for me not to curse them out as they are making snide remarks. I was told that if I had any more outbursts, I would be terminated immediately. I've even been to therapy. I don't know what else to do. Please help. -- PERSECUTED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR PERSECUTED: If you haven't already done so, start documenting those snide remarks. Then present them to the front office management or HR and point out that although the original abusers are gone, there are still employees creating a hostile work environment. If it isn't corrected, talk with an attorney. At the same time you are doing that, keep your eyes open for another job.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 29, and my boyfriend is 36. We met on a dating site and were together for three years. He broke up with me two months ago because he didn't think he could marry me. (We weren't engaged.) He says I'm the love of his life, soulmate and his dream come true, and I feel the same, but he has commitment issues.

When I met him, I was in the process of getting divorced and ending an abusive marriage. He was the best boyfriend, and, to us, our relationship was perfect. But his commitment issues gave him doubt that I'm the one he's supposed to be with.

I truly believe that God put him in my life. Something told me he was The One. How can I get him to see that we are meant to be and not to give up on the best relationship both of us have ever had? -- TRUE SOULMATE IN GEORGIA

DEAR SOULMATE: I love your sales pitch, but the person who has to buy it is him, and he's not in the market for a permanent attachment. Believe me, I sympathize, but both partners have to believe the other is "The One," and the urge to commit appears to be definitely one-sided here.

Remember, you met this man as you were getting out of an abusive relationship. He was kind; you pounced. It would be interesting to know if you received any kind of counseling after that prior relationship, because you may need some now to make sure you don't repeat an unhealthy pattern.

DEAR ABBY: I was fortunate to learn an uncommon hobby from my grandmother. Because I am the only grandchild who continued the hobby, I inherited her tools. I mainly keep in touch with my extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins) through social media, and, because of that, I post my work from time to time. They have expressed happiness that someone is continuing the hobby, so I want to continue sharing.

My problem is that several friends constantly nag me to sell them my items. I work full time, have a large family and volunteer at my kids' schools, so I have little time to devote to my hobby. Each item takes many hours to complete, and I don't want to sell them. Also, if I priced them appropriately for the time it takes to produce, the items would be costly.

I have told these friends repeatedly that I do this purely as a hobby, yet they continue to bombard my posts with demands that I sell to them. I don't want to "unfriend" these people. They are my friends and in other respects are wonderful. How can I get my message across to them? -- CRAFTY IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR CRAFTY: Tell your friends you are complimented that they would like to buy your creations, but after spending the amount of time you do creating them, they become like your "children." Point out that you would no more sell them than one of your kids, and they are not and never will be for sale. Say it with a smile, or a smile emoji. But do not relent. If the requests keep coming, limit with whom you share these images (i.e., only relatives).

DEAR ABBY: I recently reconnected with a colleague from work. We were friendly, but not really what I would call friends. We reconnected on social media and have had lunch a few times. The problem is, she has become a very negative, aggressive, angry person. She spends our time bashing family, former colleagues and just about every service professional she has encountered. She refuses to stop talking about politics even though I've made it clear I'm not comfortable with it. The first lunch was bad, but I thought I'd give it another shot. The second lunch was worse, and I decided I wouldn't reach out or make plans again. Then she made a comment that made me feel inclined to try to befriend her. She said she didn't have a lot of friends. Two or three lunches later, I just cannot keep doing it. I'm trying to rid myself of negative influences, some of whom are family members, and I don't need to continue spending time with this individual. If she reaches out again, should I keep making excuses until she gets the hint, or should I be honest? I'm somewhat afraid of her because, seeing the way she bashes people, I know she would bash me to other people we know, and I could do without that. -- MISTAKEN IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR MISTAKEN: There is no reason to be unpleasant to this troubled woman. Start being busy when she contacts you. If she traps you by saying something like, "If your schedule is too full this month, how about next month?" make a date with her. If she starts bashing others, stop her. Smile and say, "Let's talk about something else. Something pleasant." Then continue being less available for longer stretches of time. When you become harder to reach often enough, she'll eventually lose interest.

DEAR ABBY: My wife puts up with me, and I adore her for it. I have my challenges. I was involved in a head-on car crash 15 years ago and have suffered a number of long-term injuries from it. I can do most of what I want physically, but not everything. I have taken medications for residual brain issues from the crash and can become angry without much warning. I have had both family and individual therapy. I exercise, meditate (but not nearly as often as I should), take medications to keep me stable and have reminders in various places about what I should do and not do. I buy my wife flowers pretty regularly and stay playful often. I also take good care of our special-needs son. What other things would you suggest I do to help her know I adore her? -- LUCKY GUY IN FLORIDA

DEAR LUCKY GUY: Your wife probably already knows. But if you apologize when you fly off the handle, show affection, and tell her every day how much you love her and how blessed you feel to have her in your life, it will convey the message you want to deliver.