Every now and then, I get a letter from a reader that I must share with you (with the reader's permission). Some letters include wisdom that is memorable enough to revisit. This letter, from 2015, about the "secrets" of success, is priceless:

"My parents were high-school graduates, blue-collar, FDR Democrats -- married 63-plus years before they passed away. My dad was a machinist his whole life (except for World War II). The most he ever made was about $8.50 an hour, and that was after all of us kids (five of us) had left home. My mom was a stay-at-home mom and frugal shopper extraordinaire. After Dad's retirement they lived solely on Social Security, albeit in a paid-off home and a relatively cheap economy in western Pennsylvania. ...

"In today's definitions, we would have probably been considered lower income (or less), but we never thought of ourselves as such. Our parents were prime examples of frugality and thriftiness. Even though they were 'only' high-school graduates, education was primary in the home, and it was just expected that each of us would go to college. All five of us did; however, our parents did not and could not afford to help us out, so we all financed college on our own way."

The reader said that all five children went on to marry and have children of their own, and each of the five eventually had a net worth of about $1 million or more. Then he added:

"So what is the 'secret' of our success? The fact of the matter is that there is no secret:

"1. Get that college degree -- lots of ways to finance it, but get a degree. Get the degree in an employable field. Education is key -- not only in the field you will work, but in educating yourself about money and investing.

"2. Find a good spouse and stay married -- divorce is financially devastating. The five of us have been married a total of 178 years.

"3. Start investing early in your working life. We all did that. I started putting into a 401(k) when it was first offered by my company in 1984. Time and consistency are your allies.

"4. Six of us have or will have pensions from our employers during retirement -- unfortunately, that is a benefit that is quickly vanishing from the employment landscape.

"5. Live within your means -- don't 'try to keep up with the Joneses.' One of my favorite quotes is from Lee Eisenberg's book 'The Number': 'Want what you have, not have what you want.' We all buy automobiles, no leases. The youngest brother did lease a car once a number of years ago and vowed 'never again.' We drive our cars for years; no new cars every three years for us.

"6. Be as financially savvy as possible. The five of us have had a family 'mutual fund' since 1991. We each put in money each month, and it gets invested in individual stocks. It keeps us all connected, we learn from each other, and currently it finances the yearly 'meetings' we have. Each summer since about 1989, we have gotten together as a family for at least a week -- great times and memories.

"In looking to the future, what we achieved is not impossible -- maybe just a bit harder in today's economy. Of my parents' 11 grandchildren, five are married. Of those 16 in the next generation, 12 have college degrees, all 16 are employed in well-paying jobs, and the five married couples all have their own homes. None of the 12 college graduates has any college debt. All have followed our example and invested money toward retirement, although all are eventually destined to inherit various sums of money.

"No secrets; you just have to set ideals and ethics, learn from those before you, and don't be dumb."

What lessons. Can't be said any better.

DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

A reader who is now divorced after being married for more than 45 years reached out to ask the following: "Am I entitled to half of [my ex-husband's] Social Security, or do I have to wait until his passing? I have been told the ex has to have passed away, but others have told me that since I was married for so long, I should be entitled to it."

It's an important question for those who are divorced and wonder about receiving benefits based on a spouse's earnings -- and perhaps a gray area for many people.

Only 56% correctly answered "true" to the question "If I get divorced, I might be able to collect Social Security benefits based on my ex-spouse's Social Security earnings history," according to a 2023 online poll of 1,500 Americans commissioned by MassMutual, a life insurance and financial services company, and conducted March 31 to April 5 (tinyurl.com/y7jh5mpd).

The Social Security Administration (SSA), in an August 2021 report, projects that women will make up 83% of 484,000 divorced spousal beneficiaries age 62 or older in the year 2050 (tinyurl.com/4kmk5rcx).

In order to be eligible to receive benefits based on a former spouse's Social Security record, there are certain requirements you have to meet, according to the SSA website (tinyurl.com/3dm87x3r). One key factor: The marriage to your now-former husband or wife had to have lasted 10 years or longer.

Other requirements include:

-- You are 62 or older.

-- You are unmarried (although your ex-spouse can be remarried). If you have remarried, "you can't collect benefits on your former spouse's record unless your later marriage ended by annulment, divorce or death," according to a blog on the SSA website (tinyurl.com/ke6sx54).

-- The benefit you would receive based on your work is less than the benefit you would receive based on your former spouse's work.

-- Your former spouse can qualify for retirement or disability benefits (even if he or she has not applied for those benefits), and you have been divorced for at least two continuous years.

If you, as an ex-spouse, are eligible for retirement benefits on your own, then Social Security will pay that amount first. If your former spouse's benefits are higher, then you will get the additional amount above your benefits level so that "the combination of benefits equals the higher amount," according to the SSA website.

What if you are the divorced spouse of a worker who dies? According to the SSA website, you "could get benefits the same as a surviving spouse, provided that your marriage lasted 10 years or more." See more details at tinyurl.com/2dkv4w75.

And how does all of the above affect the spouse who has the higher Social Security benefit -- in this case, the divorced reader's ex-husband? "The amount of benefits your divorced spouse gets has no effect on the amount of benefits you or your current spouse may receive," according to the website.

If you are considering filing for benefits related to an ex-spouse, be sure to reach out to the SSA to get a full understanding of your situation. You can apply online (tinyurl.com/4u7fxrhj), by phone (800-772-1213; TTY 800-325-0778), or by visiting your local Social Security office (tinyurl.com/yc8pjafx). There is a list of documents you might need to provide (to show that you are eligible for the benefits), and questions you will be asked, at tinyurl.com/mpwknp6j.

On another note, don't forget to compete for the title of 401(k)Champion if you are a 401(k) participant. This is a pro bono financial literacy effort that I fund. I challenge you to write the winning essay. Visit www.401kchampion.com for details.

DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

The question of retirement preparedness is always a difficult one to handle since there are differences in lifestyle expectations and income sources. Life is complicated. And financial decisions have consequences that don't necessarily come to light until years after the decisions are made. That's something to think about during a time of holiday gatherings like Thanksgiving -- not only for ourselves, but also for younger family members who learn from watching our behavior.

Take, for example, a recent study reporting that only 17% of workers age 50-plus were "very confident" that they would be able to keep a comfortable lifestyle after they retired. Only 17%. Would they do things differently if given the chance? What choices did they make about consuming versus saving? How important was current lifestyle versus future security?

What about retirees? Only 23% of retirees were very confident about maintaining their lifestyles. See "Life in Retirement: Pre-Retiree Expectations and Retiree Realities" (tinyurl.com/5e83w7j8), released in September 2023 by the nonprofit Transamerica Center for Retirement Studies, in collaboration with Transamerica Institute.

Lower that standard to "somewhat confident," and you'll find a larger group (45% of workers and 49% of retirees).

When asked about the greatest fears related to retirement, both workers and retirees reported "Outliving my savings and investments" (45%; 32%) and "Social Security will be reduced or cease to exist in the future" (42%; 39%).

Also under the category of greatest fears about retirement: "Declining health that requires long-term care" was cited by 41% of workers 50 and older, and by 35% of those who are retired. A similar category, "Possible long-term care costs," was selected by 35% of those 50-plus and 28% of those retired.

Another financial concern is debt. Among retirees surveyed, 48% agreed with the statement "Debt interfered with my ability to save for retirement." Among workers 50 and older, 35% cited "Paying off credit card debt" as a financial priority.

Along with planning for retirement, there is also planning for the inevitable, something most people do when thinking of others -- spouse, family, etc. According to the study, 69% of retirees and 56% of workers 50 and older have at least one or more key legal documents. The most common one is a last will and testament (51% of retirees and 39% of workers 50 and older). Only 25% of retirees and 15% of workers ages 50 and older have established funeral and burial arrangements.

There are many financial issues to consider when it comes to retirement. Examining them as early as possible can pay off in the long run.

What can you do? Importantly, what can you do now?

Here are three recommendations from the study that you can apply right now:

-- "Save as much as you can. Strive to live within your means and set aside additional savings."

-- "Prepare a written financial plan to help ensure that your savings last your lifetime. Factor in living expenses, debt repayment, savings and investments, sources of guaranteed retirement income, health care needs, insurance protections, investment returns, inflation, taxes, the possible need for long-term care, and a potential legacy. Seek professional advice, if needed."

-- "Put your financial affairs in order and establish legal documents, as needed, including a financial power of attorney, a power of attorney for health care or medical proxy, a HIPAA waiver, an advance directive or living will, a last will and testament, funeral and burial arrangements, and/or a trust."

If you follow my writing and listen to my talks, you'll know that I'm a fan of starting one's financial education early in life -- well before age 50 and certainly well before retirement. The fact is that our choices define our lives. Some choices need to be viewed in the context of the decades ahead that become history in the blink of an eye.

On another note: The deadline to apply for the 2023 401(k) Champion Award, which honors 401(k) participants who optimize their 401(k)s, has been extended to Dec. 14. To compete for the award, go to 401kchampion.com.

DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION