Dear Helaine: My husband and I are recently married and have realized we are going to owe a significant chunk of money to the IRS this year, thanks to the fact that I make significantly more than he does. I know we could still contribute to an IRA for this year, and still get the tax deduction, but we both have workplace retirement plans and therefore I don't think we qualify. We have not maxed out our 401(k) contributions, however, and I was thinking that transferring some of our savings into our 401(k)s could be a good way to lower the taxes we owe. Is this a feasible option? If not, do you have another suggestion? -- Newlywed Tax Blues

Dear Newlywed: Stop right now! Before you do anything, you need to sit down with a certified public accountant, review your situation, and find out if there is anything you can do to reduce the bill that you are not aware of.

Unfortunately, we are not allowed to take money from our personal savings accounts and place it in a 401(k). These are workplace retirement plans, after all. But there is most likely nothing stopping you and your spouse from simply upping your 401(k) contributions. For 2018, the IRS limit is $18,500 or, if you are at least 50 years old, $24,500. Simply ask your employers if you can change the percentage of your salary you put in your 401(k) until you reach either the legal limit or the amount you can afford to put aside. Then change your contributions back to where they were previously.

Use your savings to pay your bills and other living expenses. One catch: You should be aware that you will face a capital gains tax bill if you need to sell off assets to access that money.

Moreover, it's not strictly true that you can't contribute to an IRA and receive a tax deduction when you are contributing to a 401(k). If your joint adjusted gross income is $101,000 or less, you can contribute the full $5,500 ($6,500 if you are 50 or older) to an IRA and receive the full deduction. You can get partial credit if your adjusted gross income is $121,000 or less. In addition, if you or your spouse has a side hustle, you can set up a solo 401(k) or Simplified Employee Pension (SEP), and put a portion of those earnings in it, which will serve the twofold purpose of upping your retirement savings and reducing your tax bill.

One other thing: Congratulations!

(To ask Helaine a question, email her at askhelaine@gmail.com.)

(EDITORS: For editorial questions, please contact Sue Roush at sroush@amuniversal.com)

Dear Helaine: A few years ago, I began working with a financial adviser I initially liked, but whose judgment I am now questioning due to communication issues. When I email him to ask a question, I receive emails back from his assistants and colleagues, whom I don't know and haven't met with directly. I am not sure he is a fiduciary, and I'm not eager to ask outright because of these communication blunders.

Here's my question: I invested about $50,000 in mutual funds through his firm. I paid the firm a small amount to manage the money, and some small percentage was taken out of my fund when I signed up with them. I can't remember the details now.

Last fall, when we had our annual chat, the adviser recommended I sell half my mutual funds before 2018, and half in January 2018, and place the proceeds in a number of lower-cost index funds. Both funds are growing at a low annual rate. The last time I checked it was between 10 and 20 percent. Earlier this year, I was hit with a tax bill of around $5,000, and I am expecting a similar tax bill this year as well, so I am not eager to add to it by selling off these funds.

My "spider senses" are tingling. Should I look for a new adviser? Will I face another huge tax bill if I find another firm to manage the money? -- Scared to Ask

Dear Scared to Ask: You cannot work with a financial adviser who makes you so uncomfortable you don't feel able to ask something basic like if he has a legal duty to give advice that's in your best interests. I am saying this regardless of whether the adviser is a fiduciary. If you are made to feel like an afterthought when you need assistance, you are in the wrong place.

Now on to the specifics: Those funds sound ... just OK. The S&P 500 gained just under 12 percent in 2016 and a little more than 20 percent last year. I can tell you that over time, you'll almost certainly do better in index funds -- very few managed mutual funds manage to beat their benchmark indexes year after year.

As for the adviser, it does sound like he's attempting to be mindful of the tax bill. Not only will capital gains, if you sell, be paid off over two years, index funds generally throw off less in the way of taxable income than managed mutual funds, because there is a whole lot less buying and selling of stocks going on.

Finally, while one shouldn't make light of a tax bill, you shouldn't allow fear of it to be the sole guide of your investment strategy.

But you should have been told all this. Apparently, you were not, or at least not in a way you understood. While you are hunting for a new adviser, I suggest reaching out to the current one and asking about all this advice, if he is a fiduciary, how much he's charging you per year, and why he's delegated your account to others. The answers will help you evaluate the worth of his suggestions and give you valuable practice for how to engage with your next adviser.

(To ask Helaine a question, email her at askhelaine@gmail.com.)

(EDITORS: For editorial questions, please contact Sue Roush at sroush@amuniversal.com)

Dear Helaine: My boyfriend and I have lived together for three years. Since we aren't interested in having children, there's not a lot of distinction between how we live now and what living together would be like if we were married. Our relationship is pretty solid.

We live in a remote area where we both have decent-paying jobs that allow us to live comfortably. The problem is, I've reached the top of my career with my current job, making it a dead end. Because we live in a remote area, there are no better jobs to switch to. In order to move up with my current company, we would have to move. My boyfriend doesn't want to do that.

He suggested I freelance. I think I could do well, but I don't know that for sure. I also know I would make little to no money while starting up. He said he would "pay for things for a while," including rent, food and bills.

He's keen on me being happier than I am in my current job, and he also wants me to have more flexibility so I can travel with him more often. He earns significantly more than me, has more assets, and doesn't believe it would change his quality of life to foot more of the bills. But I see challenges.

What if he gets tired of paying for everything and thinks I'm not working hard enough? What if I want to buy something like a new jacket, and he resents me asking? What if he wants to go to dinner and I can't afford it? Does he pay? Do I not go? Is it a bad situation to be supported by someone I am not married to? -- Committed but Concerned

Dear Committed: It's easy to answer this letter in a flip way and point out this sort of dilemma is exactly why some people get married. But on second thought, that's not so flip.

Your boyfriend is asking you to make significant and risky financial changes, ones that will, at least in part, benefit him. At the same time, he's not offering to assume any of the long-term consequences should things ultimately not work between the two of you.

In a worst-case scenario, you could be left in a severely financially compromised position, with little in the way of legal recourse should either of you want to end your romantic partnership. It's not just that he could come to resent the financial pressure. What if you want out, but can't afford to leave?

A cohabitation agreement drawn up by a lawyer, outlining the support you are due should the relationship end -- whether you decide to ultimately marry, or simply continue living together -- would go a long way toward offering you the financial protection you need. But such an agreement won't cover everything. It won't, for starters, make the geographic and employment issues magically vanish. So there are a few questions I would ask you to contemplate before you make any decisions.

First, what do you want? Would you prefer to stay with your company and relocate, and taking this career risk is simply a way to keep your boyfriend happy? Or are you really tired of the grind? You don't say.

Second, where do you see this relationship, say, five years out? Only after you've answered those questions can you make some kind of decision about how to proceed.

(To ask Helaine a question, email her at askhelaine@gmail.com.)

(EDITORS: For editorial questions, please contact Sue Roush at sroush@amuniversal.com)